That night Carson found Nate lying on his bed already in his favorite pajamas with the spaceships-and-stars pattern. He was reading a book. He looked at her as she approached, his body stiffening in wariness. She felt immensely sad to see it. She wanted him to like her and to feel at home here. He was such a skittish little guy with his dark eyes staring up. Suddenly she thought of Delphine and, in that moment, knew exactly how to behave around Nate. They really were alike in many ways, she thought.
She walked slowly to the bed, not getting too close, not making any sudden moves. “Here,” Carson said, holding out two books. “I bought these for you. I thought you’d like them.”
“What are they?” he asked in a small voice.
“Well, take them and see.”
Nate pulled himself up into a seated position and cautiously took the books. As he saw that they were both about dolphins, his face lit up.
“They’re not baby books,” she told him, getting closer but mindful of keeping her distance. “This one describes some of the research on the intelligence of dolphins. I really enjoyed it. Like, did you know dolphins look at themselves in the mirror? I mean, they know it’s themselves they’re looking at. That’s called being self-aware.”
“I read about that already,” Nate said, matter-of-factly. “Mamaw gave me a book about dolphins.”
“Oh. Well, there’s a lot of other interesting information in it. And this other one is sort of a picture guide to all marine life. There are other animals out in the sea you might like to read about. Like orcas and porpoises and whales.”
Nate began flipping through the pictures hungrily. He paused to look up and ask, “Can dolphins really be glad to see people?”
“Yes,” Carson replied honestly. “I think they can.”
“I’ve been reading a lot about dolphins,” Nate said seriously. “Did you know that male dolphins are bigger than females? Large dolphins in the Pacific Ocean can weigh up to one thousand pounds. I’ve been thinking. Delphine is a bottlenose dolphin in the Atlantic Ocean, and she is a female. I don’t know her age, though. Do you?”
“No.”
Nate considered this. “She might weigh about five hundred pounds.”
Carson smiled in appreciation of the boy’s cleverness. “That sounds right.”
Nate accepted her approval. He looked at his book a moment, then lifted his head. This time, his eyes, though they did not meet hers, were filled with worry. “Is my mother alone with my father?”
Carson appreciated the gravity of his question and responded seriously, “No, I don’t believe so.”
“He won’t take care of her.”
“Nate, your mother is fine and she can take care of herself. She’s only meeting your father, packing up some things for you, and then she’ll be back.”
He thought about that answer. “Can you put it on the calendar when she will come?”
Carson scratched her head. She knew she had to be honest and clear with Nate. He wouldn’t accept the hypothetical.
“I don’t know exactly when she’ll be back. But I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I will call your mother tomorrow and ask her. If she gives me a date, I will put it on the calendar for you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He looked so small and sad and alone, Carson wished there was some way for her to reach him.
“Let’s get to sleep early tonight,” she told him. “We need our rest. Because tomorrow, we’re going to swim.”
Nate’s eyes rounded in terror. “No. I won’t.”
“You’ll love it. You’ll see.”
“I won’t.”
Carson crossed her arms and pulled out her trump card. “Delphine will be there.”
“Okay,” he said grumpily, but he scrambled under his blanket.
“Good night, Nate,” she said, yearning to kiss him but refraining. Instead, she tucked his blanket higher along his chin. “Sleep tight. Dream about dolphins.”
“That’s stupid. You can’t make yourself dream about anything,” Nate said, closing his eyes and yawning.
Carson watched his small body curl up and her heart pinged as she thought how hard it must be to live only seeing a world filled with rules and concrete facts, without the joy of spontaneity and imagination.
Another plus in favor of the golf cart—easy to find a parking spot!
Carson was in a cheery mood and buoyed with energy as she began her lunch shift. The schools were out and the lunch tables were packed, with a line at the door. By the final hour of her shift, however, Carson was dragging. Worse, she felt like she wanted something alcoholic to drink. The notion made her jittery and she told herself it was just a blood-sugar drop.
Devlin was at the bar as usual, having a beer with shots. He didn’t usually hit the shots in the early afternoon and she was a little worried about him. When her last customer left, she cleared the table, then grabbed a moment to sit at the bar with a Coke and catch her breath.
“Hey, how are you doing?” she asked him, leaning closer.
He shrugged. “Been better.” He turned and smiled lazily at her. “Seein’ you makes it better.”
His eyes were already glazed. She didn’t want to pry and knew from experience with her father that it was best not to say anything. It was better to just be around as a pal. She pulled out her tips and began counting her day’s take.
“Good day, eh?” Devlin asked.
“Decent, but I’d make more on the night shift.”
“Why don’t you ask Brian to change your shift?”
“I did,” Carson replied. “But the other girls have seniority. He’ll give me a slot when one opens up.”
“Ashley doesn’t want it?”
“No. She wants her nights free to be with her boyfriend.”
“As a woman should,” Devlin said, taking a sip from his beer.
Carson swung her head to look at him, annoyed but also wondering if his bad humor had to do with his ex-wife. She felt a bit sorry for him, sitting there staring morosely into his beer. She could tell by the condensation on the glass that it was icy cold and licked her lips.
“Man, that beer looks good,” she murmured.
“Want one?” Devlin asked.
Carson did, very much. She shook her head no.