“I know, Mom. I’ll let it go.”
“I hope you can. I hope you can find someone who makes you happy. Is that person Ryan?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“He’s the father of your child,” her mother said gently.
Julie looked at the woman who had been so important to her for so long. “You’d like me to just forgive him and move on,” she said. “You’d like to see us married.”
“I’d like to see you happy. I worry about all my girls. Marina, because she leads with her heart. Willow, because she finds men who need rescuing, and once they’re healed, they move on to someone else. And you because—”
“Because I’m stubborn and difficult and don’t trust easily.”
“You because you’ve been hurt and you don’t trust yourself to pick a good man.”
“Same thing.” Julie poked at her salad.
“Does Ryan make you happy?” her mother asked.
“Sometimes. Maybe. He’s not so bad.”
“I’m sure he’ll want you to be in charge of his ad campaign if he ever runs for public office,” Naomi teased.
Julie smiled. “You know what I mean. If I pretend we met a different way, then he’s amazing. He’s smart and caring and yeah, I like him.”
“You can’t change the past.”
“I know, but occasionally I try to argue with it.”
Her mother grinned. “Does that work?”
“Not as well as I’d like. I just wish things were different.”
“Events can’t be undone. People are who they are. He’s a good man, and the father of your child. You’re starting to care about him. Isn’t all that what you want?”
“You’d think so,” Julie said with a shrug. “But in my gut, I’m still afraid he’s lying or holding back or there’s some big secret and when it all comes out, my heart will be broken again.”
“Getting involved is a risk. For what it’s worth, you survived Garrett.”
“True.” Julie drew in a breath. “But getting over Garrett was a lot easier than it should have been. I’m terrified I won’t be able to get over Ryan.”
“You’re falling for him,” her mother told her.
“Apparently. And I don’t think I want to.”
“Can you stop those feelings from growing?”
Not if they continued to spend time together, Julie thought, remembering the previous weekend. It wasn’t just about the sex. It was about the way they talked together and laughed together. It was how he made her feel, and how much she wanted to trust him.
“I refuse to fall in love,” Julie said.
Her mother nodded. “I thought you might decide that. On the one hand, I think you’ve made an incredibly sad choice. On the other hand, I don’t think anyone, even you, has that much control. Ryan isn’t going away. He will always be the father of your child and in your life. Can you resist him forever?”
Julie already knew the answer to that was no. So if falling for him was inevitable, why was she struggling so hard to resist him now?
Julie made a note on her pad. She needed a couple more citations and then she’d be ready to write up her brief. There was a knock on her open door. She glanced up.
“Come in,” she said to the short, older man standing there.
He was dressed in jeans and a sweater, nothing fancy. He looked especially nondescript.
“Julie Nelson?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Julia Marie Nelson?”
She didn’t like people using her full name. It reminded her too much of when her mother was mad at her. “May I help you?”
He handed her a thick envelope. “You’ve been served.”
With that, he was gone.
Julie stared at the envelope, then opened it. The accompanying letter was from a law firm in the next high-rise over. As she scanned the contents, she felt her entire body grow cold. Her heart cried out in protest, her brain muttered, “I told you so,” and her chest tightened until it was nearly impossible to breathe.
Ryan was offering an official prenuptial agreement and a proposal of marriage valid only after the baby was born and his paternity was proven by DNA testing. If she refused either the proposal or the test, then he would sue her for custody of the child. Permanent and total custody. He would have her or she would have nothing.
Twelve
Julie stormed into the offices of Aston and Bennett, ignored the receptionist and stalked down the hall to Ryan’s office. She found him on the phone.
He looked up when she entered and smiled. Dammit all to hell if she didn’t feel a kind of quiver. Crap, she thought grimly. It was all crap.
She jerked the phone from his hand and hung up, then tossed the papers in his face.
“How could you?” she demanded, her voice loud and angry, but not nearly as loud and angry as she felt on the inside. “How could you? I trusted you. I believed you. That’s what kills me. I was starting to think I’d been wrong about you. That I’d misjudged you. That it had all been a simple mistake. But it wasn’t, was it? You were your own true self that first night we were together. You were a snake then and you’re a snake now.”
Ryan grabbed the papers and stood. “Julie, what are you talking about?”
“That.” She pointed at the papers. “You think you’ve won, but you are sorely mistaken. I’m a better lawyer than you’ll ever be able to hire. You won’t get anything, you hear me? You’re going to lose. You’re going to lose big time and then you’re going to have nothing. Not this baby and not me. Let me be clear. I will never marry you. Never. The next time I see you, we’ll be in front of a judge. I will eviscerate you. I will leave you broken and bleeding and then I’m going to kick you while you’re down. You’re a lying bastard and I can’t tell you how much I wish I’d never met you. I can’t believe I thought I was in love with you.”
With that, she turned and left.
Ryan stared after her, stunned by her attack. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel, couldn’t understand what was going on. He opened the envelope and read the paperwork. Horror filled him.
“No,” he said between clenched teeth. “Julie, no. I didn’t do this.”
He went after her, but it was too late. The elevator doors had closed and she was gone.
Now what? How could he explain he hadn’t done this? And who the hell had?
But he already knew that answer. He walked into Todd’s office and closed the door.
“What are you doing?” he demanded. “This is crazy. Why would you go behind my back? Do you know how you’ve screwed up things?”
Todd frowned and reached for the papers. He scanned them, then groaned. “Oh, God, Ryan, I’m sorry. I never meant for this to go out to her. Did Julie see this?”
“Based on what she just said to me, yeah. She was served earlier today. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I wanted to protect you. I went to see our lawyer after she came by for the first time. Before I knew anything about her. I just told him I wanted you protected and that you wanted to marry her, which I thought was crazy.” Todd looked at him. “I didn’t do any more. He wasn’t supposed to do anything but draw up papers. I swear.”
Ryan believed him. Todd was looking out for his back. If their situations had been reversed, Ryan might have done exactly the same thing.
But the plan had backfired. Instead of covering his back, the papers had ripped him open and destroyed any chance he had of getting Julie ever to trust him. He was empty inside and he had a bad feeling that later he was going to long to feel nothing more than empty. Because when reality hit, it was going to be grim.
“We hired a shark on purpose,” he said with a meager attempt at lightness. “He just made a kill.”
“He wasn’t supposed to kill you.”
“Killing Julie isn’t a good idea, either.”
She’d said she loved him. He’d wanted to hear those exact words from her…just not in that context.
“You’ll make her understand it wasn’t you,” Todd said. “Tell her. Hell, I’ll tell her.”
“Why would she believe either of us?” Ryan asked wearily. “I wouldn’t. Would you? I lied to her when we first met. I lied and I hurt her. I’ve been working my ass off to regain her trust and now this. She’s going to think it was all a game.”
“You love her,” Todd said. “You can’t just let her go.”
“I won’t,” Ryan said. “I’ll win her back…just as soon as I figure out how.”
Julie lay curled up on her sofa. She’d been unable to face the thought of going back to work, so she’d come home. She’d managed to maintain something close to control until she’d been in the door, then the tears had poured down her face and the sobs had choked her throat.
She cried so hard, she felt she would soon break in two. This couldn’t have happened. Ryan couldn’t have lied about all of it…but he had.
Garrett’s betrayal had been impossibly harsh and unexpected, yet after her initial shock, she’d thought only about getting as far away from him as possible. But now, even though she hated Ryan and wanted him punished and humiliated, she was just as upset at the thought that she would never see him again.
“I’m mentally uns-stable,” she said, her voice breaking on another sob. “I need professional help.”
Someone knocked on the door.
She stiffened, then covered her mouth with her hand. She wasn’t going to answer that. Odds were it was Ryan and she wasn’t interested in talking to him now or ever.
The bell rang, followed by more knocking.
“It’s Todd. I know you’re in there, Julie. Your car’s in the driveway and the hood is still warm. You just got here. Let me in. We have to talk.”
“We don’t have to do anything,” she yelled as she stood and glared at the door. “You’re just like him. You’re a complete bastard. Go away or I’m calling the cops.”
“I’m not leaving. You can let me inside, or I can yell your personal business loud enough to keep the neighbors talking for weeks. Let me in. You’ll want to hear what I have to say.”
“I doubt that,” she muttered and put her hand on the lock. Let him in? Why not? There was nothing he could say that would change her mind.
She opened the door.
Todd stepped inside. He looked enough like his cousin to make her stomach clench. She fought against tears, not wanting to cry in front of him. Kind of pointless, she admitted to herself. She already looked like a wreck.
“Why are you here?” she demanded. “Go away.”
“I just got inside,” he told her. “Hear me out. Then you can kick my ass.”
If only, she thought bitterly. Why hadn’t she learned some karate method? Hearing a couple of bones snap right now would be very satisfying.
He pointed at the sofa. “May I sit down?”
“No.”
“You’re pregnant and upset. You should sit. I’ll stand.”
“I’m fine.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Start talking.”
Todd drew in a breath. “Okay, but once I start, you have to let me finish. No interruptions.”
She glared at him. “Excuse me? Who do you think you are? You don’t get to set the rules here. Your cousin screwed me, in more ways than one. You don’t get to set anything, you jerk.”
“Fine. I’ll talk fast. It wasn’t Ryan, it was me. Ryan didn’t know I went to see our lawyer and he doesn’t know I’m here now. I have the bill to prove my point—about the lawyer, not about me being here now. It shows I consulted with our attorney for over an hour about you two. I was trying to protect my cousin because he was in no position to protect himself. All he could think about was how he’d blown it with you. He felt horrible about what had happened.”
It hadn’t been Ryan? Julie walked to the sofa and sat down. Was that possible? Was this an elaborate trick?
“Ryan would never do that,” Todd told her. “I wouldn’t now, either, but I didn’t know you then. I thought you were just in it for the money and that you’d tricked Ryan into getting you pregnant.”
“I’m flattered.”
“I apologize, but there have been plenty of women who would do just that. At the time, I needed to make sure you weren’t one of them. Look, Ryan is the only real family I have. I would do anything for him. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. But I messed up. You’re blaming him and because of what I did, you don’t trust him. It’s not him, Julie. He’s a great guy. I’m the bastard. Hate me.”
What she hated was how much she wanted to believe him. Based on what she knew about Todd, this was exactly something he would do in the name of protecting his buddy. But was it possible Ryan knew nothing about it?
“It’s just too much,” she said quietly. “All of it. The ride’s been too much, too fast. I need time.”
The front door opened and Ruth stepped inside.
“You simply leave your house unlocked?” the older woman asked as she shut it behind her. “Not a very safe way to live.” She glanced at Todd. “You’re an unexpected visitor.”
Julie rose to her feet. “So are you, Grandmother.”
“I know. I phoned your office, but your assistant said you’d gone home ill. I came to check on you, and my great-grandchild.”