“Please,” Elv whispered. She was so close Annie could feel the heat of her body. Her voice was small and reedy. She didn’t even sound like herself anymore. “Get me out of here. I’m begging you.”
IN THE PARKING lot, Alan insisted they had to stick with the program; they had to commit to the Westfield philosophy in order for it to work. Annie watched him drive away with Cheryl, then she got in her car. She drove to the spot where the policeman had let her turn around, where she’d pulled over when there were snowdrifts and the woods were muffled and white. Now she could see blackflies drifting through the air. The leaves were pale green. Pools of shadows fell across the road. She thought of the boy in the hall, and of her daughter who didn’t sound like herself. She remembered standing in the yard with Elv, pointing out Orion and telling her a story in which a girl had finally woken after a hundred years’ sleep.
Annie made a U-turn and went back. She headed directly for the administration office and signed the release papers. She did not wish to speak to any of the counselors or to the dean. Her mind was made up. It was that boy in the hallway and her daughter’s desperate plea. It was the way everything was spiraling forward in time, winter becoming spring in seconds, it seemed. Elv was in the front hall ten minutes after Julie informed her she was being released from Westfield. She was clearly delighted. To Annie’s surprise, Elv actually threw her arms around her, which was totally unexpected, then just as quickly Elv backed away. She had only one small backpack. She left everything else behind. Elv shifted the backpack over her shoulder. With her clipped hair she looked younger than her age. She glanced around the hallway.
“No Dad?”
“Nope,” Annie told her. “It’s just you and me.”
That was fine with Elv. She didn’t care about the particulars. She just had to get out of Westfield. She didn’t say good-bye to anyone, although she left behind her copy of The Scarlet Letter for Miss Hagen. If she thought about the horses, it would be too sad, so she wasn’t going to think about them. She was wary as they walked out to the parking lot, yet joyful. She wanted to remember the moment of her release. She hoped the horses wouldn’t be waiting for her in the morning, banging against their stalls, looking out the rough doorway into the field.
Elv was surprisingly polite in the car. At Westfield she’d learned it was best to speak only when spoken to. She’d learned a great deal there, as a matter of fact. She wouldn’t miss it, but it held certain memories that in their aftermath had changed everything, including who she was.
“We’ll work everything out,” her mother was saying. Elv didn’t disagree. She gazed out the window; she couldn’t believe it was almost summer. She tried not to let on how excited she was. She was seventeen and ready for the world, whether or not it was ready for her. She could actually feel things after all. That’s what Lorry had taught her.
They stopped at a rest area for coffee and doughnuts. Elv excused herself, saying she had to go to the restroom; she’d be right back. She asked her mother for money to buy some Tampax—how could she say no to that request?—then went down the hall to call Lorry from a pay phone. Just hearing his voice made her swoon. She felt so much realer when she talked to him. “Baby,” he said. “Where are you?” Just those few words and she was undone. She, who had prided herself on her distance from all things human, was consumed by emotion. She’d been worried that he wouldn’t want her in the real world where there where so many distractions, so many other girls.
She told him she was finally free. She whispered, “I’ll die if I don’t see you.”
Lorry laughed. “I wouldn’t let that happen,” he told her. He sounded so sure of himself, so sure of them. When she hung up, Elv danced around even though people were looking at her. “Boo,” she said to a little boy who was watching her, brow furrowed. He laughed and said “Boo” right back. They grinned at each other until his mother grabbed his hand and led him away. Elv had nothing to worry about. Michael had said that among his friends Lorry was famous for getting bored with his girlfriends and turning them out. That wasn’t the case now. He still wanted her.
When she went back to the coffee shop, Elv saw that her mother looked nervous. Annie hadn’t thought anything through; she’d acted on impulse and now here she was, drinking a tepid cup of decaf, waiting for her daughter. From a distance, as Elv approached down the hall, she appeared to be a complete stranger, with her clipped hair and her oversized sweatshirt, and the black rose tattoo there like a fresh wound. She had a new way of walking, light on her feet, looking to either side cautiously. She wore the sneakers everyone at Westfield was forced to wear. Slip-ons, no laces. They were the first things she planned to burn.
“I told you I’d be right back,” Elv said.
They were about three hours outside of New York. They hadn’t spoken more than a handful of words for nearly a year. All at once, Annie felt she had made a terrible mistake. She had no idea how Westfield might have affected Elv, for better or for worse. She had an almost uncontrollable desire to run, just leave the car for Elv and take off into the countryside. She could live among the deer, in the deep, dark woods. She could drink from a cold spring, clear New Hampshire water. At night there would be an endless sky filled with stars.
Elv tossed her empty coffee cup in the trash. She couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
“Ready?” she said.