She and Daddy were becoming complete strangers right before my eyes. Whenever they were in the same room, one of them left. Before, when Daddy used to leave for work, he’d kiss her forehead, but those kisses were nothing more than a memory now.
The seasons came, the seasons changed, and whenever the band came back into town, Brooks was nowhere to be found. I thought maybe he had found his next adventure on the road. Perhaps our love was supposed to only be a passing moment in time.
“It’s on!” Mama hollered one night, running throughout the house. “It’s on!” Everyone came from their rooms, and for the first time in months, my family seemed like one unit as we stood around the radio in the dining room, listening to The Crooks’ first song on the radio. My chest tightened and I gripped the anchor necklace that had never left my neck as I listened to the words I knew. Our song…
She lies against my chest as her raindrops begin to fall
She feels so weak, floating aimlessly, slamming against the walls
Praying for a moment where she won’t begin to drown
Her heart’s been begging for an answer to the silent hurts her soul keeps bound
I’ll be your anchor
I’ll hold you still throughout the night
I’ll be your steadiness
during the dark and lonely tides
I’ll hold you close, I’ll be your light, I’ll promise you’ll be all right
I’ll be your anchor
And we’ll get through this fight
Listening to the words felt like the kiss I’d been craving. The words felt like he’d promised to come back to me. Everyone in the dining room started cheering and hugging—something we hadn’t done in so long. When Mama’s hands wrapped around Daddy’s body, he held her close. I swore I saw it, too, the place where their love used to exist. It was gone in a flash when they separated, but still, I had seen it, which meant somewhere inside them, that love still remained.
It wasn’t until the night I received a package in the mail that I allowed myself to cry over Brooks leaving.
A book.
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.
Inside the book were yellow Post-its marking the best parts of the book, covered with his handwriting. In the back of the novel was a note, a note I read each day, over and over again for the passing years to come. The note was proof I’d never love another boy again.
A note to the girl who pushed me away
By: Brooks Tyler Griffin
October 22nd, 2018
Maggie May,
It’s been two years since I last saw your face. Twenty-four months of missing you, dreaming of you, and wanting you by my side. Everything reminds me of you, and whenever I come back into town, I stay at my brother’s house, unable to face you. If I saw you again, I wouldn’t be able to leave. I know I wouldn’t. My life is moving fast. Some days, I doubt I can keep up. Other days, I want to quit and come home to you. On those days, I remember how you pushed me away. This is what you wanted, and I have to honor your request.
Years before I knew what it meant to love you, I lay in your bedroom, holding your hand, and made you a promise. I gave you an anchor necklace and promised I’d be your friend, no matter what. I’ve done a lot of thinking, wondering how I could still be a friend while also respecting your space. This is the best way that came to mind. I’ll keep sending you novels with my thoughts; I hope this helps you remember that you’re never alone. If you ever feel lonely, read the notes in the books.
If there’s ever a day you call for me, I’ll be there.
I love you, Magnet, both as a lover and a friend. Those are two things that will never change, even when my heart needs a break.
Always yours,
Brooks Tyler
P.S. I’m always around to listen to your silence.
A note to the boy who’s on television
By: Maggie May Riley
August 1st, 2019
Brooks,
I saw you on Good Morning America today. Your hair is longer, isn’t it? Plus, is that a tattoo on your right arm? I couldn’t get a close enough look, but I could’ve sworn it was a tattoo. What is it of? I’m sending back my comments on American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I have a confession, though: I’ve already read it three times before you sent it to me. Seeing your side and your thoughts made it feel like a new read, though. You can’t really go wrong with any of his novels.
I finished reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I’m crossing my fingers that you’ll enjoy it. I loved it, but I know you’re not as into period pieces as I am. It’s based around World War II, and while it highlights the effects of war, there’s still such a sweet, charming feel to the story. And it’s hilarious too.
Did I tell you Muffins passed away? I told Daddy to tell Mrs. Boone I was sorry for her loss. Her reply? “That damn thing lived a million years. Now I don’t have to waste money on cat food.”
What she really meant was she missed her more than words.
I miss her, too.
Always,
-Maggie
P.S. The Crooks’ new album is number one again this week—I’m not surprised. I’ve been listening to it on repeat for the past five weeks. You’re my favorite kind of sound.
A note to the girl who rereads books for fun
By: Brooks Tyler Griffin
January 5th, 2020
Magnet,
The band is in Tokyo this week, and Rudolph accidently ate fried pig ears, thinking they were organic fried pickles. It was probably the best moment I’ve ever witnessed. There’s this nasty cold going around, and I have fallen as the next victim to the plague. The amount of cold medicine I’ve been doped up on is worrisome, but still, the show must go on tonight. I’m hoping to pass the cold on to Calvin soon, just for laughs.
The book: The Passage by Justin Cronin.
The number of Post-its: one hundred and two.
I heard Cheryl got into Boston State University and is taking up a journalism degree with a minor in women’s studies. Next time you Skype with her, let her know how proud I am of her.
-Brooks
A note to a boy who can go to hell
By: Maggie May Riley
June 14th, 2021
Brooks Tyler,
Seriously? The Fault in Our Stars?
I just cried into a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Surprisingly, the salty tears added to the flavor. With that, I take your John Green novel and raise you A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. Cheryl had me read it, and I haven’t been the same since.