I lowered my head. The stranger hadn’t physically raped me, and I knew that was what she was asking. Even so, truth be told, he had raped me in almost every other way possible. He had raped my innocence.
My youth.
My voice.
He had stolen so much of me away when I’d witnessed his act of horror and when he’d tried to end me. He had stolen so much of my soul.
I shook my head no for Mama, though. He hadn’t physically raped me.
Mama let out a sigh of relief before she broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Her hands covered her face as she violently shook, and her words were tough to understand. “Why won’t you speak?” she asked.
Because I have nothing left to say.
“I think that’s enough for now, Katie,” a voice said.
I looked up to see Daddy standing in the doorway, staring at Mama and me. He must’ve come home early from work to take care of her. Mama always did better when he was around.
She walked over to him, and within seconds, Daddy’s arms were wrapped around her tiny frame. He whispered something into her ear, and it seemed to be the right words, because Mama’s crying came to a halt, and she nodded in agreement with Daddy’s soft voice.
After a few minutes, she said she needed air and headed out of the room.
Daddy stepped over to me, kneeled down, and gave me his best crooked smile. “Maggie May?”
Yes, Daddy?
“The world keeps spinning because your heartbeats exist,” he promised. His nose brushed against mine, giving me his Eskimo kisses. “And everything’s gonna be okay. You know why?”
I shook my head, and he continued.
“Because none of us are ever alone. You’ve got a family that loves you and will be there for you always. Okay, sport?”
Okay, Daddy.
He smiled as if he heard the words I didn’t say. “How about we go out for some frozen yogurt later tonight? I think it will be good for us to get out and about. What do you say?”
Yes.
He smiled wider, as if he understood me again.
Maybe parents always knew the things their kids were thinking. Maybe it was some kind of sixth sense. I was thankful for Daddy’s superpowers.
He went off to check on Mama, and I stayed in their room, sitting against the mattress made of feathers, and I began to allow myself to sink into the softness. I lay back, my legs dangling from the edge of the bed, and I closed my eyes. Lately my ears were more aware of every noise that came near me, from the wind slapping against the apple trees in the backyard, to the fly buzzing around in the bathroom down the hall.
My eyes shot open before words even left Brooks’ mouth. I heard his soft footsteps coming my way. Calvin’s steps were always heavy, as if he put his full weight into every step, but Brooks’ were much more gentle, almost as if he tiptoed across the floors. I wondered if his steps were always like that, or if he had adopted the gentle movements the past few days. I would’ve been lying if I’d said I’d ever noticed the sounds of his footsteps before. I wondered how many things people missed when they were busy talking too much.
“Are you okay, Maggie?” he asked, standing in the doorway. I didn’t sit up, but my head tilted in his direction. When we met one another’s stare, his chest caved and his shoulders rounded. His hands were stuffed tightly into his jeans. “Calvin and your pops are outside checking on your mom. She asked me to go home, and I told her I would, but I couldn’t without stopping by to see you, to see if there’s anything I can do.”
I shrugged. He frowned.
“Can I come in?” he questioned.
I nodded. He frowned some more.
Brooks sat on the bed before lowering himself down to lie beside me. My head was still tilted toward him, and his was now facing me. “Your mom said you’re not speaking. She said you have nothin’ to say, but I think that’s a lie. I think you have a lot to say, but you don’t know how to say it.”
A single tear fell down my cheek, and I turned in the other direction to avoid him seeing me cry. He still witnessed the single tear. I kept the rest running down my face to myself and Mama’s pillow.
He quietly spoke. “It’s my fault, you know. I was supposed to meet you in the woods for our rehearsal, but I was wastin’ too much time trying to pick out a tie you’d like. I know you probably thought I was standing you up, but I wasn’t, Maggie May. I swear I was gonna come meet you, and when I got out there, you weren’t anywhere to be found. I’m so sorry.”
More tears fell from my eyes as I listened to Brooks sniffle.
He continued talking. “I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
We stayed there for a few more minutes. Tears kept falling from my eyes, and he didn’t try to convince me to stop crying. It might’ve been my imagination, but I thought Brooks cried right beside me for a little bit.
“Who’s up for some ice cream?” Daddy said, barging into his bedroom, the room Brooks and I hadn’t left. I didn’t know when it had happened, but at some point, Brooks and I had started holding hands, and I hadn’t found the power to pull away from his grip yet.
We both sat up, and Brooks quickly pulled his hand from mine. “I’d love some ice cream!” he bellowed.
Mama came and frowned behind Daddy. “Brooks, you haven’t been home in a while. Maybe you should head back. We probably need a bit of family time alone if that’s all right.” She didn’t mean to be rude, but I could tell Brooks’ feelings were a little hurt by the way he smiled.
Most people probably thought it was a normal smile, but I knew it was the smile he gave when he was a bit embarrassed.
“Sure, Mrs. Riley. Sorry. I’ll get going.” He turned to me and gave me a lopsided grin. “You okay today, Maggie May?” Since the incident, he’d been asking me that each day. I nodded slowly.
I’m okay, Brooks.
He stood up from the bed and started to walk out of the bedroom, but Daddy cleared his throat. “I think it might be okay for Brooks to join us for a bit of ice cream.”
“Eric,” Mama protested, but Daddy placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“That is, only if Maggie thinks it’s okay,” he finished, looking at me.
Brooks’ eyes shot up to me, filled with hope, and there was no way I could say no to him. He listened to my silence, after all. After I agreed, we all put on our shoes and headed to the front of the house. As everyone walked outside, I paused in the doorway.