Diana lit a cigarette slowly, and swung round on her chair with a hard
laugh. "If I had not lived with you all my life, Aubrey, I should
really be impressed with your brotherly solicitude; I should think you
really meant it. But knowing you as I do, I know that it is not anxiety
on my behalf that is prompting you, but the disinclination that you
have to travel alone without me. You have come to depend on me to save
you certain annoyances and inconveniences that always occur in
travelling. You were more honest in Biskra when you only objected to my
trip without giving reasons. Why have you waited until to-night to give
me those reasons?"
"Because I thought that here, at least, you would have sense enough to
see them. In Biskra it was impossible to argue with you. You made your
own arrangements against my wishes. I left it, feeling convinced that
the impossibility of it would be brought home to you here, and that you
would see for yourself that it was out of the question. Diana, give up
this insane trip."
"I will not."
"I've a thundering good mind to make you."
"You can't. I'm my own mistress. You have no right over me at all. You
have no claim on me. You haven't even that of ordinary brotherly
affection, for you have never given me any, so you cannot expect it
from me. We needn't make any pretence about it, I am not going to argue
any more. I will not go back to Biskra."
"If you are afraid of being laughed at----" he sneered; but she took him
up swiftly.
"I am not afraid of being laughed at. Only cowards are afraid of that,
and I am not a coward."
"Diana, listen to reason!"
"Aubrey! I have said my last word. Nothing will alter my determination
to go on this trip. Your arguments do not convince me, who know you. It
is your own considerations and not mine that are at the bottom of your
remonstrances. You do not deny it, because you can't, because it is
true."
They were facing each other across the little table. An angry flush
rose in Sir Aubrey's face, and his eyeglass fell with a little sharp
tinkle against a waistcoat button.
"You're a damned obstinate little devil!" he said furiously.
She looked at him steadily, her scornful mouth firm as his own. "I am
what you have made me," she said slowly. "Why quarrel with the result?
You have brought me up to ignore the restrictions attached to my sex;
you now round on me and throw them in my face. All my life you have set
me an example of selfishness and obstinacy. Can you wonder that I have
profited by it? You have made me as hard as yourself, and you now
profess surprise at the determination your training has forced upon me.
You are illogical. It is your fault, not mine. There was bound to be a
clash some day. It has come sooner than I expected, that's all. Up till
now my inclinations have gone with yours, but this seems to be the
parting of the ways. As I reminded you before, I am my own mistress,
and I will submit to no interference with my actions. Please understand
that clearly, Aubrey. I don't want to wrangle any more. I will join you
in New York as I promised. I am not in the habit of breaking my
promises, but my life is my own to deal with, and I will deal with it
exactly as I wish and not as any one else wishes. I will do what I
choose when and how I choose, and I will never obey any will but
my own."