I managed to crack a smile, even as I realized that she wasn’t joking. “Maybe you like girls?”
She shook her head. “If I did, that would be easier. I’d never even heard the term ‘asexual’ until a year ago. I started Googling right away, but reading about it only depressed me. Because I suspected that was me. And then we started dating, and I tried. I really did.”
“So…” I cleared my throat. “It’s not just you. This is a… thing.”
Alison gave me a tiny eye roll. “Yes, it’s a thing. There are support groups and the whole nine yards.”
It was at that moment when Bella decided to stage her rescue. She came wandering over to me with a comical smile. “I need to steal you.” She put her hands on my chest and rubbed my pecs. “There’s a half an hour until class, and I’m feeling so tense. I was hoping you could help me relax.”
I kept a straight face, but just barely. “Just give me a minute, Bells. I need one more minute here.”
Bella made a sad, pouty face that was entirely out of character. “I’ll be waiting, lover.” She sauntered off, hips swaying. I admired the view, because it was important to stay in character.
When I looked at Alison again, her eyes were hard. “Wait. You asked her to rescue you from this conversation? Is it really that hard to talk to me?”
That’s when I lost it a little. “Cristo. Is it really so hard to believe that someone would ever want to have sex with me?” Too bad I didn’t keep my voice down. A couple of freshman girls walking past us looked up quickly.
“Of course not,” Alison whispered. Her face went soft. “My counselor was right.”
“What about?”
“That sex was tied up with most people’s self-esteem. And that I almost certainly hurt your feelings because I didn’t want you that way. I’m sorry I’ve been so dense.”
“It’s…” Argh. “Can we just move on?”
“I was hoping that we could be friends.”
“Isn’t that all we ever were?”
Alison let out a shaky sigh. “I loved you, Rafe, and then I did something really stupid because I couldn’t figure out how to make it work. And I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” I whispered. Was I supposed to tell her now that all was forgiven? I just couldn’t make myself say the words. Although I didn’t like the idea that my pride had been wounded at least as badly as my feelings. “Thank you for telling me,” I added, hoping that it would be enough.
Alison gave me a watery smile. “You’d better go. Your friend is waiting for you. Actually, she’s looking like she’d like to kill me. You probably told her I was a monster.”
Yeah, I probably did. “See you around, Alison.” Trying to be generous, I leaned forward and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then I spun around and caught up with Bella, who was waiting by the door. She did, in fact, look ornery. “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean for that to take so long.”
“Let me guess. She’s sorry, and she wants you back.”
“Eh,” I said. “She’s sorry, at least.”
“Would you take her back if she asked?”
“No,” I said quickly. “We weren’t… a good fit.” I was still trying to understand what Alison had told me. If she was right about not wanting sex with anyone, that meant most relationships were off the table. She’d told me once that she wanted kids, too. So that wouldn’t be easy.
It was pretty damned depressing, really.
“I have an idea,” Bella said. “About Beta Rho.”
“What?” That got my attention. “What kind of idea?”
“I read in The Harkness that they’re having a centennial celebration next month. ‘One Hundred Years of Beta Rho.’”
“Ugh. Just what we all need — a hundred years of assholes.”
“I know. But I figure that a bunch of their alumni will be in town for it. They’re having a big tailgate party for the last football game.”
“Are they now?” I sure hoped Bella wasn’t planning to go. I didn’t want her anywhere near a couple hundred drunk frat boys.
“The article said that they bought out a big block of tickets to the game.”
“So?”
“So, my wheels are turning.”
I opened our entryway door. “Bella, I can’t think of a single good thing that could come of you mingling at the Beta Rho centennial.”