It was a mistake. He was going to the other side of the world; it wasn’t something she was likely to forget but she thought this was an opportune moment to remind herself of the fact while her nervous system was plugged into its own personal high-voltage system.
He knew how he made her feel—he knew exactly how he made her feel; he was too experienced to miss the obvious signs she was transmitting. Walking away from Benedict Arden with her pride intact might be a small step when compared to what he was doing, but it was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever done.
‘Is what you’ve told me public knowledge, or do you want me to be discreet?’
When she’d tried to step back he’d slid his fingers down to the curve of her elbow. It was stand still and take the agony that being this close to him was giving her or dislocate her shoulder. On reflection maybe dislocations weren’t that bad!
‘You’re the only person I’ve told.’ She could feel the web of intimacy his soft words were weaving around her. Illusion, she told herself—wishful thinking. ‘Will you be sorry to see me go, Rachel?’
‘I’m only your temporary secretary,’ she reminded him lightly. ‘It doesn’t really affect me.’ I’m a temporary everything, she thought with a surge of self-pity.
‘I was forgetting,’ he said smoothly. His eyes were on the small creamy V of skin where her shirt was modestly unbuttoned at the neck. She half expected the delicate gold chain she wore to melt under the hot, smoky scrutiny. ‘And I suppose on a more personal note it might even help my cause.’
‘How exactly?’ she asked uncertainly. It occurred to her that if anyone walked in right now the gossips would have something more substantial than hearsay to sink their fangs into.
‘You don’t like the fact that Charlie likes me. You’re afraid of her getting attached to me. This way there’s no chance of that happening now, is there? I’m just passing through.’
‘You always were,’ she snapped bitterly. ‘And anyway it’s not true!’ The quirk of one eloquent dark brow made her subside into slightly resentful silence. A mother’s job was to protect her child; she refused to feel apologetic.
‘It’s a natural enough response. You like to keep men on the outside—strictly no admittance to the enchanted circle. That’s probably why you took such a shine to good old Nigel—you knew there was no possibility of him cracking the code. I don’t think your home has stayed a male-free zone by accident.’
‘What a load of rubbish!’ she shouted. What was wrong with being emotionally independent? He made it sound like a disease. ‘I’m old enough to realise that some relationships are transitory—shallow; Charlie isn’t. I don’t want her to be hurt. You’re nice to her and she’s reading all sorts of things into it. She’s used to men who run a mile when they know you have a child; she can cope with them.’
‘Be serious, Rachel. Look in the mirror.’ He took her chin in his hand and examined her profile greedily. ‘Most men would put up with a tribe of juvenile delinquents if you were part of the bargain.’
‘Most men want a shallow, superficial relationship.’ Her defiance was weakening. If he’d chosen that moment to kiss away her objections she’d have been a goner.
‘And isn’t that exactly what you wanted with Steve…me? Didn’t you fantasise just a little bit about making love to a total stranger—no questions, no complications? You were attracted to him—me. I’ve never seen a more obvious case of lust at first sight. Anonymous sex—didn’t you think about it? You could safely surrender to male dominance; I’m sure that was tempting. You’d be completely free with a stranger to express your needs in any way you chose.’
The emotions his throaty, insidious words stirred up made her head spin—with anger, she told herself. ‘Sex with a stranger is not my idea of safety,’ she said unsteadily.
‘Perhaps a safety valve would be a more appropriate description,’ he conceded calmly. ‘A release for all your repressed sexual feelings. It wouldn’t surprise me if the last person you slept with was Charlie’s father,’ he jeered provocatively.
Seeing the expression on her face, he froze. ‘Good God!’ he breathed hoarsely. ‘It’s true, isn’t it?’ Under the healthy glow of his olive-toned skin he’d gone white with shock. ‘A hard act to follow, is that it?’ Learning his competition was six feet under was not one of the greater moments in his life! Ghosts could do no wrong.