Worse than a fool, he felt like a cruel monster. It had never been his intention that Therese should be hurt by marriage to him. He had believed he was offering her a good life and had thought he would make a good husband. Not a normal husband—a king in the making could not be that—but a good one regardless.
He had not anticipated the current events, but even so…to have failed so miserably at his first real test in the husband department was galling. He did not take failure well. He never had, which was why he worked so hard to avoid it. But there was no denying that he had misjudged his wife and in misjudging her, he had added to her suffering.
He had also destroyed fragile bonds that if he did not repair were going to result in the end of his marriage. He would not accept that, but he was not sure what to do to fix the problem. He felt helpless and that was not a pleasant feeling.
A prince in line to the throne should not be helpless.
He would not be if she cared for him…her love would be a tie that could bind them together, even if he’d made a few rather ugly errors of judgment. But she did not love him. Though, for a second there…just before she had gone to sleep, he had thought she was going to say she loved him. And he had wanted to hear the words. Very much.
She had not said them, though, and he could not help wondering if it had all been a figment of his imagination. Even if she had loved him once, and he thought that was possible, she loved him no longer.
Why did that knowledge hurt so much?
As she had pointed out. Love was not part of their marriage bargain.
But he wanted her love. He…needed it. Somehow, he would convince her to stay married…and perhaps in doing so, give himself another chance at the love that had warmed his very soul before he realized it was ever there. She had married him loving him and only now, looking back, could he recognize that.
She probably thought he did not care, but she was wrong. He cared very much. She was wrong, too, about divorce being the only solution to their dilemma. Just as she had been wrong that his phone calls hadn’t meant he missed her. Only now did he recognize how many things she had taken the wrong way and he did not know how to fix that, either.
He had been trained to be a ruler among men, he had not been taught how to soothe a woman’s emotions, how to convince her of his affection. He and Therese did not see the world in the same way and he had made the mistake of believing they did. Because of the way she had been raised. But she was still a woman, different from him and her thinking steeped in a logic that was no kind of logic to him.
He’d taken for granted that she knew many things that in retrospect he had to admit had not been as obvious to her as they were to him. He could not be sure if that was a man-woman thing, or something unique to their personalities, but it did not matter either way. She had made faulty assumptions just as he had. If he could admit the fault of his own reasoning, and everyone accepted he had a corner share of the market on stubborn, she could, too.
“You’ve got to be kidding. Having the procedure right now is impossible.”
In a rare moment of solitude, Therese had been relaxing in one of her favorite spots on the manicured grounds behind the palace when Claudio had tracked her down. The sun warmed her while a gentle breeze ruffled her long hair. It was lovely and peaceful…or it had been. Now she had six feet four inches of masculine energy vibrating down at her.
Claudio sat down on the bench beside her, his vitality calling to her senses on a level that had nothing to do with logic or reasoning. “The doctor said there was no problem with you having the surgery as soon as your monthly is over and that should be within the next couple of days.”
She was not used to these frank discussions they had been having when for almost three years, the only earthy talk that ever happened between them was in bed. Even then, there were things she simply would not discuss. He’d blown the lid off the taboos in their marriage when he’d taken care of her the other night and seemed to have no desire to go back to the more circumspect relationship they had once shared.
Accepting that truth with what grace she could muster, she argued, “That’s not the only thing to consider. Your father is coming home from the hospital today and he will be convalescing for a while yet.”
Claudio tensed, his mouth sliding into a frown. “Are you saying you prefer to wait until his health is completely restored?” he asked with disbelief.
“Well, at least until he is well enough to begin taking over some of his duties again.”
“That will be six weeks from now,” he said grimly.
“Yes, I know.”
Claudio cupped her nape, his face set in stern lines. “I will not allow you to go through another period like this last one.”