I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this. I’m overwhelmed by the physical sensation and the emotional reality of how vulnerable I truly am at this moment. He withdraws his fingers slowly, dripping some more lube in my hole.

He leans his body over me, kissing and nuzzling me again. His hands grip my hips as I feel the head of his well lubed shaft press against me. There is just a slight pressure pushing on me.

“Are you ready?” he asks sweetly. I know in my heart if I asked him to stop, he would. I also know if I did that, I would spend the rest of my life wondering what I had passed on. I nod. “You’re going to feel a stretch, like a cramp, and it will hurt a bit. Just try to relax. The pain passes quickly, but the pleasure’s just beginning.”

I feel him guiding himself into my small opening. He moves slowly, just inching his head into me. I groan aloud as I experience the first cramp pull through my entire backside. My breath comes out in small huffs and tears fill the corners of my eyes. I’m just about to say stop when there is a sort of “pop” and he’s inside me.

At this point, my mind takes over where my body has left off. I’m so overwhelmed by the intimacy and reality of this connection. He is taking my body in a way it has never been before, and I am opening to him a part I’ve never even considered. The pain subsides, going from a harsh cramp to a slight pulling as he inches further into me.

He begins to pump in tiny strokes, edging back and forth inside my body. The pain is gone and I feel amazing. The sensation of the friction between us providing a kind of internal warmth as he continues moving, back and forth, massaging my insides with his cock. I allow my hips to sway with him, enjoying the sensations.

We are truly one. I am an extension of him, connected and moving together. Making love to one another in a soul encapsulating way. He reaches around finding my already swollen and aching clit and begins to rub it in small circles in rhythm with his thrusts. I bury my head in the pillow and shut my mind off, feeling my body be totally, wonderfully used.

Soon I am breathing heavily and feeling myself climb again to the height of my pleasure, my clit actually aching from his attention, my bottom feeling him push against my cheeks as he prepares to explode so deep within me. I let myself climb as high as I can then suddenly without any more build up I let go, the orgasm tearing through me. I feel it inside me, around me, searing at my soul as my body begins its uncontrollable shaking, creating more gripping tension on his cock.

He lets out a pained, forceful groan that lingers in the air as he explodes deep inside me. The feeling of his cum in my tight body is unlike anything I have known. My body stretches to allow his withdrawal and he collapses on top of me. I feel the sweat from his forehead against my back.

I turn to the side, my tight hole now feeling the loss of him and puckering with the desire to have him back, creating a second level of sensation as pleasurable in this moment as it was painful in the first.

“You did it,” he says kissing me and wrapping his body around me like a protective shield. “You were amazing.”

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“That whole thing was amazing,” I gasp. “I never would have guessed. I never would have known.”

“I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

“It was perfect.” I snuggle against his chest enjoying silence in the afterglow.

Eventually, I rise and clean up, get dressed, and find myself in front of the elevator. My head so buzzy, and my insides a tad bit sore, I don’t remember to ask him what the plan for Blake’s office might be.

“You aren’t really firing Lucy, are you?”

“After tonight?” he says with a smile. “I think she can have a contract extension. Hopefully after next week, you can come through the front door.”

I remember my Dad’s nurse, talking about what’s important to know about living and dying. I realize it is time for me to make the best of the life I have.

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Mark Stone.” I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. Like the rest of this evening, they were totally unplanned.

“I’m already there, Julia Sharp.” He kisses me deeply one last time.

I’m not entirely sure how I got home. My car ended up in my parking space at my apartment but I don’t remember a single street corner or red light. It is as if I simply floated down the avenue toward my place.

Chapter 16

Waking up the next morning, I’m still in awe and reliving our experience and the words I said last night. My doorbells rings and I practically fall over the couch running to get it. When I open the door, no one is there but a manila envelope has been taped to it. It wouldn’t be Janice dropping off the screenshots because she would stay. So, it must be something from Mark.

I sit on the couch opening the envelope carefully thinking it may be a note or a poem, or even just the plan for getting the proof out of Blake’s office. I feel the heavy card stock against my fingers and realize it is a series of glossy pictures. Pulling a stack out of the envelope, I flip through them several times before my mind can really register what my eyes are seeing.

Mark on his couch making love to a woman.

Mark by a pool with a woman on her knees sucking his cock.

Mark with a woman bent over his lap. He’s spanking her with a paddle. She’s wearing a collar.

Mark with a woman, bent over the bar, taking her from behind.

Over and over I look at these shots of Mark f**king this woman in every way he has also made love to me. Finally, it hits me. I clutch my heart because I feel like I have just been stabbed.

I recognize the one thing that is worse than seeing the pictures, worse than the fact I just opened my most intimate self to him, and worse than knowing I just revealed my heart to him and told him I love him.

The woman in the pictures is Valerie James.

Chapter 17

“Son of a bitch!” I shout, throwing the pictures down on the table as if they burn my fingers. Truth is, they are burning my eyes and incinerating my heart. Mark and Valerie? Under my nose? Behind my back? In front of my face? How can this be happening?

My mind snaps back and forth so quickly I’m worried I might get the bends. One minute I’m reveling in the joy of breaking down the walls that have held my passion in check for so long and the next I am cast into the cold light of this ugly reality. I turn away from the table and walk to the window hoping to see some sun, or smog, or children playing or an old woman getting mugged–anything but those pictures. Then, before I get halfway across the room, I go back and look at them. Mark and Valerie James making love, his hands on her hips, his c**k in her mouth, her playful, disgusting smile and his deep beautiful eyes looking at her–the way I thought he only looked at me.




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