Seth choked on what sounded like a laugh.
“Let me put on record, that was not an enjoyable experience,” Apollo commented dryly.
“But you’re here and you’ve…you’ve been here in one way or another,” I said, smoothing a shaky hand through my hair. “And that has to mean something,” I whispered, my voice raspy.
His smile faded a little. “But right now, I know it’s not enough.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden, uncontrollable burn, and in a heartbeat, I felt that he was closer the second before he touched the side of my face. My eyes flew open, and he—a god, the sun god—was kneeling in front of me. A surge of energy shot through me, like being shocked by electricity.
“You must continue to be brave, to paidímou, i zoíímou. You must continue to be strong. Nothing you face will be easy, but I will always be watching over you.” He lowered his hand as he stood, addressing Seth. “And you…you are so very lucky.”
And then he was gone.
Just like that, there one second, and then gone the next.
“Well, that wasn’t as awkward…or as violent as I thought it would be,” Seth announced, obviously accustomed to Apollo popping in and out.
“What…what did he say?” My gaze shifted from the spot Apollo had stood to where Seth was. “In the other language? Do you know?”
He nodded as his face softened. “He said, ‘my child, my life.’”
My heart squeezed.
“I never thought he had it in him.”
“What?”
Seth scrubbed his fingers through his hair and then dropped his hand. “I never thought Apollo really cared about anyone other than himself. Not like I think—like I know he cares about you. He has compassion. I’ve just never seen him that way before.”
I don’t know what it was about that, but the tenuous hold I had on my emotions shattered. I broke wide open. My face crumpled as a sob ripped out of me, shaking my body. I smacked my hands on my face, but it did nothing to stop the tears. They wet my palms, streaked down my cheeks and shook my shoulders.
The bed dipped, and strong, warm arms circled my waist, and knowing that Seth had stayed here, that he hadn’t left, made it all that much harder to pull it back together, to stitch the rawness closed.
Seth made a deep sound in the back of his throat as he pulled me onto his lap, folding one arm around me. His hand curved around the back of my head, and without saying a word, he guided me closer, and I went. Having no experience with these kinds of tears, I burrowed in as close as I could, wrapping my arms around him, and I held on.
And he held onto me.
Chapter 25
OPENING MY eyes, I stared up at the bluish glow flashing across the ceiling from the TV. The volume was turned down to nothing but hushed whispers. I must’ve fallen asleep.
You‘re so very lucky.
I dipped my chin, my gaze traveling over the still form of Josie. Emotionally spent, she had fallen asleep in my arms. Hadn’t even woken up when I’d repositioned us at the head of the bed. She stayed in my arms, her body curled on her side, hips between mine, head on my chest.
I tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. She stirred, but whatever she murmured was completely unintelligible. The arm I had draped over her waist tightened of its own accord.
Had I ever held a girl like this? Maybe once or twice with Alex, but with her it had never been a case of her really wanting to be there, with me. More so a case of her needing to be close to me, and that was a big difference. Honestly, Alex and I…we had needed each other.
We’d never wanted each other. Not in the way she’d wanted Aiden St. Delphi and not in the way I wanted—I cut myself off, even though it was pointless. But sometimes it felt like, if I didn’t allow myself to finish a thought, it wasn’t true. Dumb-as-shit logic right there.
Josie shifted again, curling her small hand into a fist against my chest. I wondered what she dreamt and hoped it was something peaceful as I stared at the faint bruises shadowing the insides of her forearms. Eventually her skin would toughen against the training, but would she? So far she had accepted everything tossed her way, but I knew she would still hesitate when it came to killing something. That last shred of morality would be near-impossible for her to leave behind and accept.
There weren’t a lot of things in this world that scared me, but knowing there was a good chance she wouldn’t be able to kill… Yeah, it terrified me.
I closed my eyes, sucking in an unsteady breath. If she knew everything about me, everything that I had done, she wouldn’t be lying in my arms like this. She wouldn’t be anywhere near me, let alone wanting me to kiss her. So, yeah, I was lucky right now.
I needed to get my ass out of there before…before what? Before this went any further. Before she got herself so deep inside me I wouldn’t be able to get her out. And before she found out what I really was.
“Seth?”
My lids lifted at the sound of her sleepy voice. Her head was tilted back, her blue gaze on my face. “Hey.”
She blinked slowly. “I fell asleep on you.”
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I didn’t mind.”
A soft smile curved up her lips, and my gut dropped a little. A smile…I’d never known a smile could have that kind of effect. Could feel like a kick to the chest. “Thanks for…well, for also letting me cry on you.” A pink stain spread across her cheeks. Fascinating. “And for staying with me.”
“It’s not a big deal.” I tried to shift inconspicuously. Now that she was awake and moving, so was my cock. “You hanging in there?”
She settled her cheek against my chest again, apparently going nowhere, and that…that was okay with me. “I think I’m better,” she said quietly as she wiggled her hips, causing my hand against her stomach to flex. “I needed to let it out, I guess. I was holding it in. But I…I really don’t know what to think about Apollo. I just can’t really think about him being…being my father.”
“Who would want to think about Apollo being their father?”
She giggled, and I felt my lips respond in a grin. “Yeah, good point.”
“Out of everything you’re dealing with, I think it’s okay to put that on the back burner for a little while. Just don’t be surprised if he pops up again.”
“Hopefully when we’re not making out,” she muttered wryly.