Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to put it there.
Reaching up, I unhook the string holding it in place and remove the small whiteboard. Seth’s erased the entire list, except for number one hundred fifty-five which might be my favorite number now. I tuck the board into my side, face down so the marker doesn’t get smeared by the snow.
‘You want me to slide down this?’ Callie calls down through the slide with bafflement in her tone.
I lower my head into the slide and yell, ‘Hell yes!’
There’s a pause and then I hear her squeal as she lowers her feet in then slides down.
‘Holy crap!’ She jumps up when she reaches the bottom as her ass gets wet. ‘That’s cold.’ Once she gets her footing, she looks from me to what’s in my hands. ‘What are you holding?’
‘Your surprise.’ I hand it over, still face down, but it’s more because of my nerves than the fear that it’ll get wet and ruined.
She rubs her lips together as she raises her brows at me. ‘You stole my whiteboard?’
‘No. I had Seth borrow it for me.’ I tap the back of it, noting that there’s a slight tremble to my fingers, something I blame on the snow, completely lying to myself.
A cloud of fog encircles her face as she releases a large exhale. Suddenly, she’s nervous, as if she’s realized this is no longer a game, but a very serious, life-altering moment.
‘I’m afraid to turn it over,’ she whispers, but does it anyway.
I hold my breath as I watch her read the two simple, but very momentous words written in red marker, along with the arrow pointing forward at the apartment complex straight across from where we’re standing. She must read it a few times because it takes a little bit for her to look up at me.
‘Welcome home?’ Her brows dip and her head angles to the side as she looks from me to the board, then her gaze tracks the direction of where the arrow is pointing. I know the moment it clicks in her head what I’m trying to say with this whole charade because her breath catches.
‘You and Seth are always doing crazy things like this whenever you ask me out or try to cheer me up,’ I tell her and nonchalantly shrug when her gaze locks on mine, even though I’m squirming in my skin. She hasn’t shown any signs of being happy and I’m getting worried that maybe this isn’t what she really wanted. ‘I thought maybe it was my turn’ – I brush her hair out of her eyes – ‘to do something surprising for you.’
She’s silent for what feels like forever, although her eyes never leave mine. It’s like she’s trying to read my mind or see into my soul or something. If anyone could, it’d be Callie. I just wish I could do the same with her right now because her quietness is becoming maddening.
‘This is what you want?’ She gestures at the board then the apartment complex without looking away from me.
I nod. ‘More than anything.’ Then I hesitate. ‘Is this what you want, though?’
She eyes me over for a moment or two longer like she’s searching for a hidden answer somewhere inside me. She must find it because suddenly she’s dropping the board onto the ground and throwing her arms around me.
‘Of course this is what I want.’ She hugs me more tightly than one would expect those thin arms of hers to be capable of. ‘I’ve wanted it for a long time.’
I hug her back with everything I have in me. ‘I think I have, too, but was afraid to admit it to myself, afraid to let myself have something good.’ I pull back to look at her. ‘Sorry it took me so long. Do you forgive me?’
‘There’s nothing to forgive.’ She slides her hand down my arm and threads our fingers, beaming as she looks up at me. ‘Now, let’s go see it.’
I scoop up the now soaked whiteboard and lead the way across the park to the sidewalk where we trot up the stairs of building number three.
When we reach the second floor, I take the key out of my pocket and nervously unlock the door, fumbling a few times before I finally manage it.
‘Welcome home,’ I say, then push the door open.
Chapter 15
#156 Welcome Home (Yeah, I know it’s the same as #155, but it seemed too epic not to get two numbers. Plus, the first time around it got erased).
Callie
‘It’s really small,’ Kayden says as he steps aside to let me enter our apartment. Yes, our apartment. ‘But it’s what we can afford, so …’ He trails off, ruffling his damp hair into place as he closes the door.
‘That’s okay.’ I take in the space that I’ll now call home. It’s not furnished yet, so it probably looks bigger than it really is. There’s a living room, which I’m standing in, and it’s attached to the dining room/kitchen that has a doorway that I assume leads to the bedroom. The space in front of me is about twice the size of the dorms, which sounds big, but it’s really not. I don’t care, though. At all. ‘I could live in a storage room and be okay with it as long as you were there.’ I’m starting to sound like one of those sappy romance books, but oh well – it seems fitting for the moment.
‘So you’re okay with it?’ Kayden stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans, appearing anxious. His brown hair still has drops of snow in it and his cheeks are red from the cold, and I just want to throw my arms around him and hug the crap out of him again.
So I do.
‘It’s perfect,’ I tell him, squeezing him tightly so he’ll know just how happy I am. His arms circle around me and we share our first hug in our very first home. ‘But I have to make sure’ – I slant back and tip my chin to look up at him – ‘that you’re okay with this because we’ve only been talking about it and then all of a sudden you get a place, and I just want to make sure that it’s what you really want because I don’t want you to feel pressure or anything. I can wait if I need to.’
He snorts a laugh, and when my brows knit, he says, ‘Sorry. It’s just that you kind of sounded like a teenage guy right there trying to convince his girlfriend he’ll wait to have sex with her.’
My cheeks heat, but I start to think about if he ever used that line on Daisy and my elation sinks. But then I realize that it doesn’t matter what happened with Daisy because he and I are here and he’s mine now, not hers.
‘You want to show me the bedroom?’ I give him my best come-hither look that probably comes off more along the lines of looking confused. At least, that’s what I think until his eyes drink me in and he bites at his bottom lip hard.
‘You’re starting to get a dirty mind.’ His smoldering gaze and husky voice sends warm tingles across my skin.
‘It must be Seth’s influence on me.’ My voice is off pitch. ‘Sometimes, it’s like he’s still going through puberty.’
Kayden shakes his head, laughing softly under his breath. ‘All right, no more talking. Let’s go show you our bedroom.’
We’re about halfway across the living room before our lips connect and the clothes start coming off. Shirts are discarded, shoes are kicked off, and we end up leaving a trail of clothing to the bedroom. It’s a little chilly in there, but I don’t care. Kayden can keep me warm, which is exactly what I tell him as we sink to our knees on the tan carpet and I yank his belt off.
‘We should do this every night,’ he says, unhooking my bra and pulling it off. ‘Only in a bed.’
‘No way. We should totally do it on the floor,’ I mutter between the kisses he’s showering me with on my lips, the arch of my neck, the spot where my heart beats.
He mutters something else, but trails off as my fingers skim down his chest to the top of his jeans. Flicking the button undone, I slip my fingers into his boxers and he groans, biting at my skin.
‘Callie …’ The sound of my name in that raspy voice he uses covers my arms with goose bumps. I become impatient, more than I ever have been before. It’s crazy, but the last few weeks have been intense, and I can feel myself changing, becoming more comfortable with myself and who I am with Kayden, so I let my hands wander downward and grasp onto his hardness, something I’ve never done so boldly before.
‘Fuck …’ He uses that tone again and I seriously can’t take it anymore. I’m about to rip his jeans off, literally tear the fabric to bits, when I hear a door open and close from somewhere inside the apartment.
We both freeze, panting for air as we kneel in the center of the room, half naked, our hands grasping at each other.
‘Did you hear that?’ I whisper, my eyes darting to the door.
Kayden nods, his lips parting, but he’s cut off by the sound of a voice.
‘Hello, lovebirds,’ Seth calls out. ‘Are you in here?’
Kayden and mine’s eyes widen at the same time. Then suddenly we’re scrambling to get our clothes, but it’s pointless since we both left our shirts and shoes somewhere between the living room and the hallway. My bra is nearby, though, so I get that on while Kayden does the button of his pants up.
‘What should we do?’ I whisper. ‘My shirt’s out there.’
Kayden shrugs, still looking high on the moment. ‘Ask him to hand the clothes to us.’
I wrap my arms around myself. ‘He’ll make a lot of jokes,’ I warn.
‘He’s already going to make jokes,’ Kayden states, giving me a sexy half smile. ‘So we might as well go face the music.’
‘Knock, knock, knock,’ Seth says as he raps his hand on the shut bedroom door. ‘Oh, Callie darling, I found something that belongs to you, I think.’
‘Oh, leave her alone,’ Greyson says. Then the door cracks and he sticks his arm in with our shirts in his hand. ‘Here you guys go.’
‘Thanks, Greyson.’ I take my shirt and hand Kayden his before I put mine on.
Once we’re both dressed, we go out together and face the music.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask as we walk into the living room.
Greyson’s looking around at our kitchen and Seth is observing the small patio attached to the living room through a sliding glass door.
‘I came to see how things went,’ Seth says, turning to face us. ‘And to see if you guys wanted to go have dinner and celebrate.’ He takes in the sight of us; messy hair, wrinkled shirts, and my zippers undone. ‘But I’m guessing it went well, considering how hot and bothered you two look right now, thanks to my interruption.’ He flashes me an unapologetic grin.
‘We can go,’ Greyson tells me, taking Seth’s hand and pulling him toward the door. Greyson’s always been the more level-headed of the two and tries to keep Seth intact when he can. ‘In fact, we should go and give you two some privacy.’
‘No, it’s okay. We were finished anyway.’ I don’t mean for it to come out how it sounded and I feel a little embarrassed.
‘You were?’ Kayden cocks an eyebrow. ‘Because I wasn’t.’
My embarrassment doubles and I playfully swat his arm, hoping it’ll divert everyone’s attention from my blushing.
‘It’s okay. We can go get dinner,’ Kayden says through his chuckles then his gaze fastens on mine. ‘We can finish later.’
All three of them laugh and I should get even more embarrassed, but I find myself calmer than anything. Because this is what life is about, I think. Moments like these.
Right now, everything is perfect.
Chapter 16
#103 Keep Trying to Outrun Your Demons.
Kayden
The next day I have a game. I’m excited and nervous and afraid, but that’s how it always is for me. There’s always a list of things I could mess up on flowing through my head and a list of things I can do not to f**k up. But sometimes I just wish I could get the lists to stop and just play, because I love the game.
I play pretty f**king well through almost the entire game, but only when it veers toward the end does it really matter. The crowd is going wild. Everyone is screaming, hollering, cheering me on, including Callie, Seth, and Greyson, who I know are sitting close to the front, supporting me like they always do. There are players lined up on both sides, me at the back, ready to catch the snap. The lights are bright above me, but there’s a shadow cast over me that no one else can see. We’re one touchdown away from winning and there’s less than a minute on the clock. The pressure is on me to do well, my teammates, my coach, the entire stadium waiting for me to make the perfect throw. But it’s small in comparison to the voice I hear in my head.
My father’s.
It’s gotten worse since Dylan found him, now shouting instead of whispering.
Run!
Make the perfect throw!
Winning the f**king game!
I hear the snap.
Feel the rush.
Here the scream.
You better make this!
It echoes through my head.
I feel the ball touch my hands and I run back, searching for an opening. My heart is pounding in my chest as players move around the field and I’m aware of them all. But not as aware as I am of the voice inside my head.
You better not f**k this up!
There’s no clean throw.
Everyone is covered.
The clock is ticking.
My heart is pounding.
You better not mess this up, Kayden!
I move to the right, and run, my feet hammering against the grass as I focus on one thing – outrunning that damn voice. My feet move faster than they ever have as I dodge to the left then the right. There are people in front of me, behind me, coming at me from different directions, but I focus on the end zone. It’s all that matters. And as the clock continues to tick, a player grabbing at me from the back, I jump across that line.