He scowled at me. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”
It wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever been called. “If you say so.”
“Not a compliment.”
“So . . . why Thom?”
He paused, sweeping his gaze toward Thom, who was at the SUV, impatiently watching the restroom door. I wondered if he was waiting for Natty the way Simon had been waiting for me. “I guess because I knew he would protect us. I might not like him, but I trust him.”
“And does that feeling go both ways? Does he trust you?”
Simon’s expression darkened, and it wasn’t hard to guess this was still a sore subject for him. “He does. But we have . . . a complicated history,” he admitted. “All you need to know is that we’re putting everything in the past. At least for now. Look, that wasn’t what I came here to talk about. Can we have a minute? Alone?”
We were already alone, but I lifted one shoulder. “Go ahead. Talk.”
He reached for my arm, drawing me farther away from the restroom door. My stomach sank because I was pretty sure I knew what this was about, and I suddenly wished Natty would hurry the hell up so we could get on the road again. At least inside the SUV, Simon couldn’t pull me aside.
When we stopped, I ran my hands along my arms, even though I wasn’t the slightest bit cold.
“I should’ve told you. About the DNA stuff,” he said when there was no chance anyone would overhear. “It’s just . . . it’s a hard thing to explain.”
“Yet somehow you managed.” I didn’t wait for a response. “How can you even live with it? How do you not freak out every single second of every single day? Don’t you feel . . . like . . . like a monster?”
“Kyra. Try to understand. You’re still the same as you were before. I mean, yes, we all age slower and need less sleep, but isn’t that what most people dream of?” he said. “Think about it, how is what they’ve done to us any different from all the medical techniques and cosmetic procedures people go through to look younger and live longer? People take drugs, get plastic surgery, and inject Botox in their faces to slow the aging process. Pharmaceutical companies do research on everything under the sun to improve health and cure illnesses, and even just so consumers can look better.” His eyes ticked skyward. “So . . . they’ve perfected it before we have, so what?” His smile was uncertain as he chewed his bottom lip. “It doesn’t change who you are.”
I thought of the way Tyler had told me I was the same girl I’d always been right after I told him I hadn’t aged while I’d been experimented on.
Simon took a step forward, and this time, instead of touching my hair, his fingertips skimmed mine. It wasn’t accidental, the touch, and I told myself that the thunderbolt that ricocheted through my belly had more to do with my own pangs of self-doubt than that momentary brush of his skin against mine. “You’re perfect, Kyra.”
Tyler had said that too, and I had to wonder if he’d still feel the same way now, knowing that those aliens had somehow changed the foundation of who I really was.
I squeezed my fingers into a tight fist. “Don’t,” was all I managed to say back to him.
“And I want to apologize . . . for what I had to do back there,” he said at last. And it was strange because I guess I knew he was talking about the Tacoma facility, even without him having said so. I hadn’t expected him to say he was sorry. It wasn’t like Simon to admit he was wrong, especially since I hadn’t asked for it. “It wasn’t easy”—he squared his shoulders—“leaving Willow behind like that, but I had to do it.”
“Why?” I lowered my voice because even though Willow was all the way across the parking lot in the SUV, there was no way I wanted to risk her hearing us talk like this. “How could you just . . . abandon her like that?”
Simon glanced to the vehicle too. He watched it for a long time, and then he blew out his breath. “It wasn’t about abandoning Willow.” He waited for me to return his gaze, and when I finally did, his jaw tensed. “It was about you. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”
He may as well have punched me in the gut. There were only two explanations for his actions back there in that alley.
One, those extra abilities of mine, the ones that the others didn’t have, made me worth saving.
Or two, and this one was without question more frightening . . . Simon had feelings for me that there was no way I could return.
Neither answer was acceptable.
CHAPTER NINE
Columbia Basin, Washington State
IT NEVER REALLY BECAME CLEAR WHO THE leader was, Thom or Simon. Neither was totally in charge, but both of them were in a weird kind of way.
They became co-leaders of sorts, deciding our fate in this almost eerie shorthand that involved nods and meaningful looks that made it seem as if they’d been doing this forever. The rest of us were still in the dark.
More secrets.
Staying clear of the major highways wasn’t as hard as we thought it would be; there were more than enough lesser-traveled side roads to keep us clear of any potential roadblocks.
Thom wanted to stop at another hole-in-the-wall gas station to pick up a burner phone so we could let the Silent Creekers know we couldn’t come back, but Simon declared it was too risky to contact them or anyone else by any means, even burners. We couldn’t risk anyone’s safety, so, for now, we had no way of knowing if the Silent Creek camp had been compromised, or if the NSA was already on our trail.