“Sloane,” I hear, and then arms are around my waist, helping me up. I turn my head lazily to the side and see Realm.
“No,” I say, trying to fight him off. “Leave me alone.” But the words are slurred on my lips as he leads me to the bed.
“I’m sorry. It’s the only way. I swear, it’s the only way.”
“What have you done?” I ask, although I’m not sure if he can understand me as sleep starts to drown me like rushing river water.
“I can’t let you remember,” he murmurs, helping me into bed and then climbing in next to me, holding me protectively in his arms even as I struggle weakly. He’s still talking, but his voice is fading out, fading over me. “. . . or I’ll never get out.”
“I’ll tell everyone,” I try to say, but I can’t keep my eyes open. “I’ll tell everyone.” And then Realm’s gone. And so am I.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MY EYES FLUTTER OPEN, AND I COVER MY FACE with my forearm, blocking out the light from the overhead fluorescents. My head is pounding, feeling thick with sleep.
When the fog starts to clear, I look to my side table, and the clock reads almost ten. The room smells like toast, and I find the cart on the other side with a covered tray. The food is probably long cold by now. Why didn’t anyone wake me?
I slip on my robe, wondering where everyone is. I pause at my door, before going out into the hall. There’s a young nurse at the station typing on her computer, and from the leisure room I can hear the TV. Everything seems normal, and yet . . . I’m confused.
“Ah. You’re awake.”
I jump and turn to see Nurse Kell walking toward me from the other direction, smiling broadly. “You weren’t feeling well today, so we let you sleep in. Did you want me to get you a snack, honey?”
“Not feeling well?” I look down the hallway as Derek walks by, saluting me in greeting. “I’m . . .” Pushing my hair away from my face, I think back to yesterday. But I can’t find anything there. “What day is it?” I ask.
Nurse Kell smiles like the question isn’t even odd. “It’s Saturday. And the sun is finally out if you’d like to go out to the garden.”
“What?” I’m stunned by her statement, never having been let outside before. Saturday? “It’s Friday, isn’t it?” I’m sure it’s Friday.
“No, honey. But you were running a fever yesterday, and we had to medicate you. So I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”
My mind starts to race then, and I know that they’ve done something to my memory. I keep my face calm, but Nurse Kell can see what I’m thinking. I want to scream. I want to punch her. I want them out of my head. What did they erase this time? Whatever it is, it wasn’t theirs to take.
“Where’s Realm?” I ask.
“He’s playing cards in the other room.” She brushes my hair off my shoulder, her face a portrait of concern. “You go see him, and I’ll get you some clean clothes for your shower. You should really take it easy today.”
I want to slap her hand away from me, but instead I just turn and hurry toward the leisure room. When I get inside, Realm immediately looks up, smiling around the pretzel cigar in his mouth. “Hey, sweetness. Didn’t think you’d ever get up.”
“I need to talk to you,” I say, shifting uneasily from foot to foot. Realm’s face drops, and he yanks out the pretzel and tosses down his cards.
“Hey!” Shep calls, but Realm is stalking toward me. He takes my arm, lowering his head.
“What is it? Are you okay?” he whispers, studying my eyes.
I cling to Realm, pressing my face against his chest. “They did something to me,” I say. His body is stiff at first, but then he relaxes around me, gently stroking my hair.
“How so?”
“I can’t remember yesterday. A whole day! They won’t leave me alone,” I tell him, and I feel the tears wet on my cheek, on his shirt.
“Sloane, you were sick. Why do you think they did something to you?”
“I just know.” I knot my hands in the back of Realm’s shirt, keeping him there, not caring as his friends call out to us—telling us to get a room. Not caring that I can feel the stares of the nurses. Nobody breaks us up, though, and Realm wipes my tears with his thumbs.
“Want to go outside?” he asks, a small smile on his face. “They told me you earned some garden time.”
“Why?”
“For being a good girl.” He grins. “Kidding. You’re getting close to release time. Everyone gets to go out when that happens.”
“Not you.”
Realm looks away.
“Wait,” I say. “You could go outside all this time?”
He nods, and I scoff. “Well, why haven’t you?” I ask. “You should be getting fresh air, not be trapped in here.”
“I was waiting for you,” he says with a shrug.
A smile pulls at my lips as I think Realm’s entirely sweet. That he cares about me. “You’re an idiot,” I say. “But that’s what I like about you.” The thought of actual sunlight fills me with so much hope that I jog toward my room to get into fresh scrubs. I’m going outside.
• • •
“This is really beautiful,” I say as we walk down the rows of flowers. The gravel pathway crunches under my sneakers, and in the light, true sunlight, Realm’s black hair is a sharp contrast to his skin. I think he’d look better as a blond.
“Hold hands?” he asks.
“No, I like my freedom,” I say absently, looking over the expansive lawn. I wonder if I could escape, but I see a tall iron fence just beyond the neat row of trees. My heart sinks just a little.
Realm is kicking at the rocks as we walk, and he seems down. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
He looks at me, startled. “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about when I’m out.”
“Soon.”
He nods. “Yep.” He turns to me then, stopping me in the path. “What are you going to do when you’re out, Sloane? Who’s the first person you want to see?” He smiles then, that adorable smile that makes me feel like we’re sharing secrets. Only out here it doesn’t seem so infectious.
I’m not sure how to answer because when I think of home, all I can see are my parents. A few random faces pop up, but they’re just classmates, none of them my friends. The loneliness once again overwhelms me, and I stagger back. Realm catches my arm and straightens me.