Again, the contradictions in this man were fascinating. As we set out, I stared at him with such absorption that I barely registered what a smooth ride Alizay was.
But how could I not stare? He was captivating, with the bright fall sun making his jet-black hair gleam. His physique when riding was a sight to behold.
A body like that was good for two things that started with f. And fighting was the other one.
Dragging my gaze from Sevastyan, I surveyed the breathtaking estate. A cool breeze finagled stray leaves from the birches surrounding the stables.
In comfortable silence, we rode, and as we gained distance from the manicured gardens and the tennis court, the guest houses and the garage, we saw more wildlife. A fox, two martens, numerous speckled squirrels.
When we crossed a babbling stream, Alizay gave a restless snort. Though I’d never ridden such a fine horse, I could tell she wasn’t satisfied with this mild walk. I patted her neck. “This one’s hungry for more.” I bit the inside of my cheek; could that have sounded more suggestive? Wow, I might as well have pointed at my crotch as I said that.
“Then let’s give her more.” Sevastyan lightly swatted Alizay on the rump, sending her speeding forward.
He quickly caught up, and we galloped over what seemed like miles, the bracing air filling my lungs, invigorating me. I was unable to contain my laughter, and even Sevastyan’s lips curled, almost a smile. Oh, yeah, if he ever did hit me with a real smile, I’d tumble off the back of this horse.
I caught myself wondering what it would be like if he were mine. In some mad moments, I could envision us together. It’d never be dull.
No, it’d be dark. And deep. I swallowed. In any case, the ball was no longer in my court. I couldn’t have made it clearer to him how I felt, and he’d made no moves.
Until now? Or was this a platonic outing? He’d told Filip that I was with him. For the duration of this ride? For longer?
Our mounts matched paces, drawing even closer as we headed toward a distant birch forest. Once we’d reached that thick grove, we slowed to a walk. I loved watching the leaves flutter all around us, caught on the breeze like little kites. “This place is amazing.”
“I used to explore here as a boy.”
“It must’ve been an incredible place for a kid.” Especially compared to what he’d known before then. Had he recuperated from that beating here? Gone from abject poverty to this wonderland of plenty?
From having no one to having a father in Kovalev?
“Paxán wanted me to feel that this was my home, so he made me read all about it.” Gauzy light streamed through branches, hitting Sevastyan’s face, his eyes. The gold was so vivid, it was like the sun had rendered them aglow from within. Spellbinding . . .
When I found my voice again, I said, “Tell me some of the things you learned.”
In his gruff way, Sevastyan began describing the construction and renovation of Berezka. But as he talked about the people and the lands, he grew more animated, his passion for this place clear.
He caught me staring at him.
“What?” Color tinged those cheekbones.
Since learning he’d been a prizefighter, I’d longed to touch his face. Since Paxán had told me of his beating as a boy, I’d yearned to kiss this fighter from forehead to chin. “You adore it here.”
He shrugged, but I could tell how proud he was. “Don’t you?” When I nodded easily, he said, “Then why haven’t you decided to stay?”
“It’s a big decision. Living in a foreign country, changing schools.” I knew nothing would make Paxán happier, and I wanted to give that to him. But not at the expense of my own happiness. “Though you might not think I liked my old life, I did. I even liked working, just as you clearly do. I don’t want to say I’m a hayseed or anything, but I enjoy a simple life.” We’d slowed to a stop. “Enough about me. Why don’t you tell me about how you came to be here?” Paxán had said Sevastyan might confide in me.
He studied my face. “Your father told you my history.”
“Only how he first met you. You could tell me more.” If Sevastyan and I could continue like this, talking, getting to know each other, would I fall for him?
Could he fall for me?
“I’m a good listener,” I said.
Our gazes met. He parted his lips to speak. Then ire blazed in his expression. “Why did you invite Filip to ride with you?”
I was taken aback. “Why wouldn’t I have?”
“You could have asked me.” He gazed past me as he said, “Unless you specifically wanted time with him away from everyone else.”
I rolled my eyes. “If I did, then that would be none of your business. You told me there is no us, remember? Maybe I took your words to heart.”
“Did you take my warning to heart as well? I told you to be wary of him.”
Sevastyan’s anger was sparking my own. “And he told me the same thing—about you.”
“Filip has a lot of success with women. That doesn’t mean he’s worthy of it.”
“I get along with him. He doesn’t ignore me, and he makes me laugh,” I pointed out. “It doesn’t hurt that he has a face that could make angels weep.”
Sevastyan’s gloved fists clenched on his reins. His horse nickered nervously. “I don’t want you alone with him anymore.”
This jealousy was so delicious, I decided to prime the pump. “Why? Scared I’m going to give it up to him?”