“Duhhhhhhh.”
That’s what he would have said. That was the kind of thing Westley came out with when he was feeling really sharp. “Duhhhhhhh, tanks, Buttercup.”
Buttercup dried her tears and began to smile. She took a deep breath, heaved a sigh. It was all part of growing up. You got these little quick passions, you blinked, and they were gone. You forgave faults, found perfection, fell madly; then the next day the sun came up and it was over. Chalk it up to experience, old girl, and get on with the morning. Buttercup stood, made her bed, changed her clothes, combed her hair, smiled, and burst out again in a fit of weeping. Because there was a limit to just how much you could lie to yourself.
Westley wasn’t stupid.
Oh, she could pretend he was. She could laugh about his difficulties with the language. She could chide herself for her silly infatuation with a dullard. The truth was simply this: he had a head on his shoulders. With a brain inside every bit as good as his teeth. There was a reason he hadn’t spoken and it had nothing to do with gray cells working. He hadn’t spoken because, really, there was nothing for him to say.
He didn’t love her back and that was that.
The tears that kept Buttercup company the remainder of the day were not at all like those that had blinded her into the tree trunk. Those were noisy and hot; they pulsed. These were silent and steady and all they did was remind her that she wasn’t good enough. She was seventeen, and every male she’d ever known had crumbled at her feet and it meant nothing. The one time it mattered, she wasn’t good enough. All she knew really was riding, and how was that to interest a man when that man had been looked at by the Countess?
It was dusk when she heard footsteps outside her door. Then a knock. Buttercup dried her eyes. Another knock. “Whoever is that?” Buttercup yawned finally.
“Westley.”
Buttercup lounged across the bed. “Westley?” she said. “Do I know any West—oh, Farm Boy, it’s you, how droll!” She went to her door, unlocked it, and said, in her fanciest tone, “I’m ever so glad you stopped by, I’ve been feeling just ever so slummy about the little joke I played on you this morning. Of course you knew I wasn’t for a moment serious, or at least I thought you knew, but then, just when you started closing the door I thought for one dreary instant that perhaps I’d done my little jest a bit too convincingly and, poor dear thing, you might have thought I meant what I said when of course we both know the total impossibility of that ever happening.”
“I’ve come to say good-by.”
Buttercup’s heart bucked, but she still held to fancy. “You’re going to sleep, you mean, and you’ve come to say good night? How thoughtful of you, Farm Boy, showing me that you forgive me for my little morning’s tease; I certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness and—”
He cut her off. “I’m leaving.”
“Leaving?” The floor began to ripple. She held to the doorframe. “Now?”
“Yes.”
“Because of what I said this morning?”
“Yes.”
“I frightened you away, didn’t I? I could kill my tongue.” She shook her head and shook her head. “Well, it’s done; you’ve made your decision. Just remember this: I won’t take you back when she’s done with you, I don’t care if you beg.”
He just looked at her.
Buttercup hurried on. “Just because you’re beautiful and perfect, it’s made you conceited. You think people can’t get tired of you, well you’re wrong, they can, and she will, besides you’re too poor.”
“I’m going to America. To seek my fortune.” (This was just after America but long after fortunes.) “A ship sails soon from London. There is great opportunity in America. I’m going to take advantage of it. I’ve been training myself. In my hovel. I’ve taught myself not to need sleep. A few hours only. I’ll take a ten-hour-a-day job and then I’ll take another ten-hour-a-day job and I’ll save every penny from both except what I need to eat to keep strong, and when I have enough I’ll buy a farm and build a house and make a bed big enough for two.”