“So I’ll know whether to stop at my motel and get those condoms before I drive you home. It’ll save you from having to deal with that Shield.” Starting the car, he backed out of the parking space. “If we’re going to deliver on our promise to take Kate ice-skating, we don’t have much time.”
He was worried about following through on a promise to her daughter? That was something she hadn’t experienced in years-a pleasant something. “We just…we won’t do it again,” she said. “If we stay away from each other, we won’t need birth control. And we won’t need to know whether or not I’m pregnant. Not right away.”
He gave her a look that told her he wasn’t about to let her out of this. “I don’t think staying away from each other is very realistic, do you?”
She rubbed her face. “Probably not,” she sighed.
He drove across the street to the gas station. “There’s the bathroom,” he said and handed her the bag.
Butterflies swirled in Sebastian’s stomach for the first time since he could remember. Was it really possible that in nine months he’d become a father again? So much had changed. He’d lost Emily and Colton and Constance and all the momentum he’d achieved with his work. He no longer had the money he once did. He couldn’t believe he was even thinking about having another child, let alone pacing outside a gas-station restroom in California while the woman he’d been sleeping with took a pregnancy test.
“Jane?” he called when he couldn’t wait anymore.
She didn’t answer, so he tapped on the door. “Hey! What does it say?”
Again, no answer. Did that mean what he thought it might? Or was it just that she hadn’t finished or couldn’t hear him? “Jane?” he called again.
Finally, the little sign that read Occupied disappeared as she turned the lock. But she didn’t come out. She opened the door a few inches and peered through the crack.
“What’d it say?”
Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. “It’s negative.”
“You’re sure?”
She passed him the test strip. He didn’t know what gray meant, but he didn’t question it. He stared at it for a second; then he reached around to put it on the sink. “That’s good, right?”
“I guess so. But despite everything, in a way, I’m disappointed.”
He understood because in a way he was, too. Even with the risks involved. Regardless of what anyone watching from the gas pumps might think if they saw him, Sebastian stepped into the woman’s restroom and closed the door so he could draw her into his arms and kiss her gently. “It’s okay.”
“I know. It’s just…this isn’t only about whether or not we’re having a baby.”
He tilted up her chin. “Then what’s it about?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yes.” Her voice dropped. “I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Laughing at the hopelessness in her words, he kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m sorry that upsets you.”
“You live in New York!”
“You’re the one who keeps trying to send me back!”
“I still want you to go, if it’ll keep you safe.”
Feelings he hadn’t experienced since before Colton’s death began to simmer inside Sebastian, chasing all the negative events into the background. He was suddenly stronger, more like himself, so much happier. “I’m not going back. I’m staying here, with you.”
“But it’s important that you go-at least until the police capture Malcolm.”
“Trust me to take care of myself,” he said. “Trust me to take care of you and Kate.”
“It’s him I don’t trust,” she argued.
“We’ll come out of this. We’ll be fine.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “How would you have reacted if there was a baby?” she asked. “Would it have scared you away?”
What kind of fickle ass**le did she think he was? “Not at all. I’m forty-five, Jane, not twenty-five. I know what a baby means. I said I’d be happy, and that hasn’t changed. I would’ve been okay with it, as long as you were.”
“And how does the fact that there is no baby change the situation?” Her head came up. She was expecting him to tell her why he wasn’t ready for a permanent relationship. He could tell. But that wasn’t what he had to say.
Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her again. “It doesn’t. I still want you.”
“You’re serious,” she said, searching his face.
“Completely.”
She smiled. Then she hugged him tighter and it was her turn to kiss him. She didn’t ask any more questions. Apparently she was willing to let it go at that, and he was glad. He had no idea what he’d do about his job in New York, if he’d relocate or she would, if she’d mind that he’d spent all his money chasing Malcolm and would need time to rebuild. It was too soon to discuss any of the practical issues of how they’d be together. But they knew they wanted to be together. And for now, that was enough.
Jane could hardly believe that she’d found another man she cared about. Sometimes she’d look up to find Sebastian watching her with such tenderness that a warm tingle would go through her. This was what she’d been missing. This…contentment. She’d never really had it, certainly not with Oliver. He’d always been too selfish. Sebastian was different, mature, confident, willing to care for others. What she felt for him was so wonderful it frightened her-because she was afraid it wouldn’t last. Good things seldom did. She had a bone-deep conviction that she wasn’t meant to be so happy, didn’t deserve it. And if she ever forgot that, she didn’t have to go far to be reminded. She knew how Wendy would react to the news…
“Mom, you watching?” Kate called.
“You’re doing great, honey!” Jane smiled and waved at her daughter, circling the ice with Sebastian. Although Jane had gone skating quite often in her early teens, it was Kate’s first time. She seemed a bit shaky but she was enjoying herself…and enjoying all the attention Sebastian was lavishing on her.
Jane went to the restroom, which was why she’d gotten off the ice. She was on her way back to the rink when her cell phone rang. It’d been so long since she’d skated that she wasn’t much steadier than Kate was, so she answered before stepping onto the ice.