Look at what she'd been through with her own stepfather. Look at where "til death do us part" had led her mother....
"I'm glad you feel that way, truly," she said. "But don't think I want the same thing, okay?"
"You don't know what you're missing, Ava."
"Marriage isn't for everybody, Jon," she said. "Good night."
After she'd disconnected, she tried to forget how envious she was of his happiness, and how quiet her own house was even with the TV on, as she gazed at the mortuary pictured on her screen.
Just tell me this, what's in it for her?
I don't know that there's anything in it for her.
There has to be. There always is.
Was it true? Ava could've believed Mrs. Harter--could've believed her and walked away from this case without a second thought--if only Kalyna had gone to school and visited a doctor at least once or twice in her youth.
An education and medical help were considered bare essentials, what any normal parent provided for his or her children, weren't they?
Chapter 9
"They didn't mean it," Tatiana murmured.
Kalyna nearly snapped at her to close the door and go away, but she couldn't afford a fight with her sister. Since she'd left home, her folks had boxed up her belongings and shoved them in a forgotten corner in the detached garage. They'd also sold her bed and dresser to give Tati more space--a not-so-subtle hint that they wouldn't appreciate having her back.
Now that she was here, anyway, she had no choice but to sleep on the trundle bed in her sister's room. No way would they relent and let her use one of the couches upstairs. She wasn't good enough for that. In their minds, she'd never been good enough for anything except cleaning up blood and embalming fluid and dressing dead people.
"They did mean it," she said, and continued to search for any money she might've overlooked in her purse. She'd been so excited about this trip, so anxious to show her parents and her sister how well she was doing. And for what? They'd treated her like shit!
Tati came closer and touched her shoulder. "They're just...upset.
They're worried about you going AWOL. But don't let them get you down.
They'l get over it."
"How can I not let them get me down?" Kalyna said. "They don't even want me here! They'd be happier if they never heard from me again."
"That's not true."
"Yes, it is." She thumbed through her wallet, but found it as empty as she feared. She'd never been good with money, couldn't seem to hang on to it longer than a day or two.
"Did you think they'd be happy to hear you deserted?" Tati asked.
"I didn't desert! I'm going back. I just took a trip to see my family."
"Without permission."
"It wouldn't matter to Mom and Dad even if I had permission." She should've figured that out before she ever crossed the state line into Arizona, but she'd imagined her homecoming so differently. Why couldn't they be proud of her for a change? She had a job, was making money. And she looked a hell of a lot better than her sister. "They don't care about me."
Tati sat on the edge of the desk chair. "Sure they do. They...well, you know what sticklers they are for rules."
"I was raped, Tati. You think they'd care more about that than the fact that I left the base without permission." Kalyna tossed her wallet aside. As usual, Tati was trying to smooth things over, but it didn't help. Kalyna wanted to flip off her parents and walk out. But she'd have to sleep in her car if she did. She'd spent the last of her pay on a cool pair of sunglasses for the trip and wasn't even sure how she'd buy the gas to get home.
"I think they just...Never mind," Tati said.
"What?" Kalyna kicked her purse off the bed and let its contents spil across the floor. "If you have something to say, spit it out!"
"Forget it." Tati eyed the picture that'd tumbled from Kalyna's purse. It was of Luke. Kalyna had snapped it at the Moby Dick while he was playing pool and had it printed the very next day. "Who's that? " she asked, pointing.
"A friend. He's in my squadron." Kalyna got up to retrieve the photograph before her sister could ask any more questions about it. If Tati realized who Luke was, she'd be even more suspicious of Kalyna's story.
Not many rape victims carried around a picture of their attacker. "Whether you want to admit it or not, I know what you're thinking," she said, going back to their conversation. "You don't believe me any more than they do."
Tatiana slid off the chair and knelt on the ground, where she began gathering up Kalyna's belongings. "I want to believe you."
Kalyna put the picture upside down on the dresser. "Then why don't you?"
A pained expression appeared on her sister's face. "It just doesn't ring true to me. So I can't really blame Mom and Dad for distrusting you.
Sometimes I don't even know whether to believe some of the things you say."
Kalyna moved close enough to stab a finger at her sister's chest. "Are you calling me a liar?"
Tati ducked her head and busied herself, shoving the makeup, hairbrush and gum wrappers back into Kalyna's purse. "No, of course not.
But rape?" She paused when she came to Luke's watch and held it up.
"This isn't yours, is it?"
"It belongs to another friend. I was holding it for him while he played volleyball and he forgot to get it back."
Tati set Kalyna's purse safely on the desk. "You've been with so many men. You use them and let them use you. It's a game to you. How can I be sure you were raped, considering everything you've done?"
"How dare you!" Kalyna retorted. "You don't know anything about me.
I haven't been with that many." At least, not that her family knew about.
They'd once caught her screwing the son of a client. Shane. He'd come with his mother to make funeral arrangements for his grandmother, and while the adults were talking she'd taken him into the basement to show him the cooler. She'd done it to freak him out, to make him quiver in discomfort and fear at the sight of his poor, dead grandmother. But it turned out he didn't scare that easily. He said he was bored. So she pulled off her shirt and tossed away her bra--and almost laughed herself to tears when his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
Wh-what are you doing? he'd cried.
Have you ever had sex in a cooler? she'd asked.
Not a cooler full of dead people, he'd said, but she knew he'd never had sex anywhere.
Now's your chance. Or are you too scared?
I'm not scared. I'd do it in a heartbeat, but...not while my grandmother's in here. Put your clothes on.