“And is that likely to happen?” Mark continued to drive his point home.
“Probably not,” Denny acknowledged.
“Then why are we still talking about it? You, better than anyone, know how bad it can get when my father goes on a real bender. He was fairly mild on Sunday, all things considered. Would you want to inflict that on your girlfriend or wife on a regular basis?”
Instead of answering the question, Denny growled, “I fucking hate this!”
“As do I,” Mark agreed. And truer words were never spoken. Instead of it getting easier without Angel, each day was worse to endure than the previous. He walked around feeling as if his shoes were made of lead and bullet holes riddled his heart. Work was his only escape, and he’d been at it like a maniac. When he was so tired, though, that he couldn’t go a moment longer, he’d remember how she looked that morning when she begged him not to walk away. She was the first woman in his life to say I love you to him, and he’d left her behind as if she didn’t matter. He was raw and gutted. In order to keep the light burning within her, he’d completely extinguished his own, and he had no idea if it would ever burn for anyone other than her again.
• • •
Crystal looked up as her office door opened. She plastered on a smile, but inwardly groaned as both Mia and Gwen walked in. God, she couldn’t handle another relationship postmortem right now. She was barely hanging on as it was. At least after the first day, Lydia had done her a favor and had not mentioned Mark again, even though she could see the concern in the woman’s eyes. “Hey, you two,” she said brightly. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit, she thought to herself. That was a saying she’d relied on a lot in the last week. Smiling and pretending everything was perfectly fine—when it was anything but.
“Oh God, she’s doing it again,” Mia groaned to Gwen. “It’s starting to kind of freak me out.”
“Me too,” Gwen whispered back loud enough for Crystal to hear, before turning to stare at her. “Honey, we don’t want to rain on your happy train, but we’re a bit worried about you.”
Crystal thought that statement was a bit comical, since Gwen looked as if she’d swallowed a beach ball and was presently rubbing her back while looking at Crystal in concern. “Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” she asked, with real amusement this time.
“She’s deflecting.” Mia sighed. “It’s worse than I thought.”
Crystal bit her lip, trying to stay in her carefree zone while faced with her friend’s attempts to push her into reality. “I really should get back to work,” she said, pointing to the stack of papers on the corner of her desk. “Lydia needs this done by the afternoon.”
“We talked to her on the way in,” Gwen inserted. “She said to take all the time you needed.” To punctuate the fact that they weren’t leaving, each of the women took a seat in front of her desk and settled in. Shit.
Desperately grasping at straws, Crystal pointed out, “I don’t think we should be having a long personal conversation at work. We could meet up later and talk.”
Mia nodded. “Ordinarily, I’d agree, but since you’ve been blowing us off for days, obviously that isn’t going to happen. You run out of here like your ass is on fire in the afternoon and somehow manage to get by us in the lobby each morning. Then you hardly answer your phone in the evenings, or your door for that matter. So this is our last resort.”
“Honey, we’re worried about you,” Gwen added softly. “You told us about Mark on Monday, but after that, you’ve buried yourself in here. The few times one of us has managed to see you, you’ve been effusively happy, which we know is bullshit.”
Crystal had the words of denial on the tip of her tongue. She was all ready for a glib reply with a big smile for reassurance. Which was why she was so baffled when she opened her mouth and blurted out, “I’m dying inside without him. When my friends said stuff like that in high school, I thought they were pathetic. Now I understand the meaning of those words all too well. I’m working, eating some, and sleeping for the most part. I’m alive and doing most everything that I normally would, but a part of me isn’t there anymore. Which seems absurd, even to my ears, considering Mark and I were barely together a month. It wasn’t long enough to fall in love . . . was it?” she asked, needing someone to be the voice of reason, because it apparently wasn’t her right now.
Mia leaned forward to grip Crystal’s hand, stopping her from nervously shredding papers on the desk. “I knew Seth was different from anyone else I’d ever dated almost from the start. It took me a while longer to admit it, but it was what I consider love at first sight.” Smacking her lips, she grinned. “Well, maybe lust, followed quickly by the other L word.”
“Yep, me too,” Gwen agreed. “I was drawn to Dominic even while I was dating Mac. If I’m honest, I may not have wanted to admit it at the time, but it was always him. When we were finally together as a couple, I knew in my heart that I was in love with him. I was scared because my romantic life had always been something of a disaster. But I know exactly what you’re saying about missing a part of yourself. “
“I think the next question here is what do you intend to do about it?” Mia demanded. “Mark may have some full-blown crazy in his family, but so do you, Crys.”
“No offense,” Gwen added sheepishly. “I’m sure your mother has her good days. . . .”