My guilt was compounded by the fact that I had only Sabara to keep me company. She was an abysmal conversationalist, trying to convince me over and over that the plan I’d come up with was absurd. That I would get myself killed.
What she really meant was that I would get her killed. Her selfishness knew no bounds.
But I understood her concerns. I had them too. My idea
was reckless, albeit necessary if I intended to keep Ludania out of war. And I did, no matter the cost. You’re an idiot, Charlaina. You think Elena intends to honor her word? She’d sooner slice your throat than negotiate a treaty. Sabara’s voice left no doubt as to what she thought of my plans, and I wished, again, that I could somehow shield my thoughts from her.
But no matter how loudly she protested, I refused to be swayed in this matter.
Because Elena had offered me something I wanted even more than just a treaty. And no matter how much I tried to convince myself that my reasons were selfless, the truth was, I desperately missed the sound of silence.
Clenching the edges of my vanity, I stared at myself in the mirror, willing Sabara to show herself, although I knew she wouldn’t. I summoned her all the same.
“Show yourself, Sabara. Face me. I dare you.”
I waited, watching my own image. My face remained impassive, my eyes as cold as ice chips as they stared back at me, unblinking and frosty. My skin, although dimmed with time, now shone with determination, tiny detonations erupting just below the surface, the only movements I could see.
I could almost believe I was a force to be reckoned with, almost imagine I wasn’t terrified by the mission I was about to embark on.
“Coward,” I whispered when she didn’t emerge, but a part of me wondered if I was really talking to her at all.
When the palace had fallen silent for the night, I slipped soundlessly from my room and crept down the deserted hallway to another bedchamber, one I’d been in just hours earlier. The guards who’d been standing outside were gone now, abandoning this post for another, more pressing matter. Their absence bolstered my confidence, and I reached for the door handle, and let myself inside without first knocking. I knew she was awake even before I entered her tiny room.
I could sense her awareness of me immediately, although I was certain she wasn’t alarmed to find me creeping into her bedroom in the dead of night.
“Eden?” I called just to be sure I hadn’t misread the feeling in the air. I’d have hated to have the royal guard thrust her sword through my gut by mistake. She didn’t answer, but I closed the door behind me all the same. I couldn’t risk making anyone else aware of where I was.
Now that I was here, ensconced within the cramped space of her private quarters, I was no longer certain where to start my explanation. I shifted from one foot to the other, silently replaying Sabara’s arguments in my head and allowing them to fracture my earlier resolve. Inside my chest my heart hammered painfully, and my breathing grew erratic.
“What do you want?” Eden asked from the darkest corner of her bedchamber. I studied her motionless outline, still lying outstretched on her back as she stared up at the ceiling. From the sound of her voice, which wasn’t groggy at all, I could tell I wasn’t the only one who’d been awake throughout the night.
“I want to talk to you . . . ,” I began. “I have an idea. A proposition, really.” I heard the sound of rustling and the creak of bedsprings. I watched as her outline shifted until her back was facing me. “Go away,” she stated flatly. And then, “What I meant, of course, was, ‘Go away, Your Majesty.’”
I smiled at that; I couldn’t help it. Something in her tone, the caustic sting that laced the edges of her words, told me I’d chosen correctly. She was the perfect person to turn to. “Eden, I need your help,” I insisted, but this time I didn’t
wait for her to tell me to piss off, which she was most certainly leading up to. Eden had learned to show me a degree of loyalty as her queen, but only because Xander had demanded it. And Eden respected Xander above all else.
Which was exactly what I was counting on.
I crossed the room and knelt down beside her, my heart racing as I did so. I’d seen what she’d done to that messenger, how swiftly she’d disemboweled him. I knew how deadly she could be.
Dropping my voice to the quietest whisper I could manage, I breathed into the darkness where she lay. “We’re getting out of here.”
At first there was nothing from her, no response at all, save that electric crackle of energy of hers that fed the air. She’d heard me, all right. She was considering my words.
Then she rolled over abruptly, and I found myself staring directly into her unblinking black eyes. They were unnerving, and I had to force myself not to flinch beneath their scrutiny. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“Just you and me. No one else can know about this. I need you to take me to Astonia.” I swallowed, willing my throat not to fail me. Not wanting to stop until I’d said everything I’d come to say. “It’s the only way,” I implored. “I need you to help me sneak out of the palace and cross the border. If I can get to Queen Elena, I might be able to stop her from attacking Ludania. I can prevent thousands of soldiers from having to give their lives over a senseless vendetta.” My eyes were wide now, and my words tumbled over one another. “Please, Eden. You’re the only person I can trust with this. You’re the only one who has as much reason to get to Astonia as I do.”