But, these endeavours were ineffectual, and a thousand
inconsistent emotions assailed her, whenever she fancied that Valancourt
might be near her; now, she dreaded it to be true, and now she feared it
to be false; and, while she constantly tried to persuade herself, that
she wished the person, whom she had seen, might not be Valancourt, her
heart as constantly contradicted her reason.
The following day was occupied by the visits of several neighbouring
families, formerly intimate with Madame Montoni, who came to condole
with Emily on her death, to congratulate her upon the acquisition of
these estates, and to enquire about Montoni, and concerning the strange
reports they had heard of her own situation; all which was done with the
utmost decorum, and the visitors departed with as much composure as they
had arrived. Emily was wearied by these formalities, and disgusted by the subservient
manners of many persons, who had thought her scarcely worthy of common
attention, while she was believed to be a dependant on Madame Montoni.
'Surely,' said she, 'there is some magic in wealth, which can thus make
persons pay their court to it, when it does not even benefit themselves.
How strange it is, that a fool or a knave, with riches, should be
treated with more respect by the world, than a good man, or a wise man
in poverty!' It was evening, before she was left alone, and she then wished to have
refreshed her spirits in the free air of her garden; but she feared to
go thither, lest she should meet again the person, whom she had seen on
the preceding night, and he should prove to be Valancourt. The suspense
and anxiety she suffered, on this subject, she found all her efforts
unable to controul, and her secret wish to see Valancourt once more,
though unseen by him, powerfully prompted her to go, but prudence and
a delicate pride restrained her, and she determined to avoid the
possibility of throwing herself in his way, by forbearing to visit the
gardens, for several days.
When, after near a week, she again ventured thither, she made Annette
her companion, and confined her walk to the lower grounds, but often
started as the leaves rustled in the breeze, imagining, that some person
was among the thickets; and, at the turn of every alley, she looked
forward with apprehensive expectation. She pursued her walk thoughtfully
and silently, for her agitation would not suffer her to converse with
Annette, to whom, however, thought and silence were so intolerable, that
she did not scruple at length to talk to her mistress.