Extracted from the Journal of EZRA JENNINGS

1849.--June 15.... With some interruption from patients, and some

interruption from pain, I finished my letter to Miss Verinder in time

for to-day's post. I failed to make it as short a letter as I could

have wished. But I think I have made it plain. It leaves her entirely

mistress of her own decision. If she consents to assist the experiment,

she consents of her own free will, and not as a favour to Mr. Franklin

Blake or to me.

June 16th.--Rose late, after a dreadful night; the vengeance of

yesterday's opium, pursuing me through a series of frightful dreams.

At one time I was whirling through empty space with the phantoms of the

dead, friends and enemies together. At another, the one beloved

face which I shall never see again, rose at my bedside, hideously

phosphorescent in the black darkness, and glared and grinned at me. A

slight return of the old pain, at the usual time in the early morning,

was welcome as a change. It dispelled the visions--and it was bearable

because it did that.

My bad night made it late in the morning, before I could get to Mr.

Franklin Blake. I found him stretched on the sofa, breakfasting on

brandy and soda-water, and a dry biscuit.

"I am beginning, as well as you could possibly wish," he said. "A

miserable, restless night; and a total failure of appetite this morning.

Exactly what happened last year, when I gave up my cigars. The sooner I

am ready for my second dose of laudanum, the better I shall be pleased."

"You shall have it on the earliest possible day," I answered. "In the

meantime, we must be as careful of your health as we can. If we allow

you to become exhausted, we shall fail in that way. You must get an

appetite for your dinner. In other words, you must get a ride or a walk

this morning, in the fresh air."

"I will ride, if they can find me a horse here. By-the-by, I wrote to

Mr. Bruff, yesterday. Have you written to Miss Verinder?"

"Yes--by last night's post."

"Very good. We shall have some news worth hearing, to tell each other

to-morrow. Don't go yet! I have a word to say to you. You appeared to

think, yesterday, that our experiment with the opium was not likely to

be viewed very favourably by some of my friends. You were quite right. I

call old Gabriel Betteredge one of my friends; and you will be amused to

hear that he protested strongly when I saw him yesterday. 'You have done

a wonderful number of foolish things in the course of your life, Mr.

Franklin, but this tops them all!' There is Betteredge's opinion! You

will make allowance for his prejudices, I am sure, if you and he happen

to meet?"




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