Any second now I’m going to hear his voice.
I want to hang up. No I don’t.
My hand is clamped around the phone, suddenly slick with sweat.
“Tru is that you?” Jake’s deep voice comes breathy down the line.
My chest tightens. I can’t speak.
“It is you isn’t it? That’s why you’re not saying anything.”
I take a deep breath, and exhale, “Yes.”
“Tru, oh God, baby, I miss you so much,” his words come out in a flurry and I can hear the relief in his voice. “Please let me see you. I need to talk to you. I’m so sorry for everything. Please just let me see you.” His voice starts to break down the line.
Tears fill my eyes.
I force them back with blinks, and then I steel myself to speak. “I’m coming to New York in a few days to cover the show.”
“You are? Oh thank god. Thank you, baby. You won’t regret this, we can talk and sort all of this out and–”
“No Jake. We’re not sorting anything out, because there’s nothing to sort out. I’m coming to cover the show because you’re forcing me to. Anything else, you and I, we’re done. For good. There’s nothing to discuss.”
“Tru, no, please.”
My heart feels so heavy in my chest it’s practically labouring into my stomach.
I force a strength which I don’t own right now, and maybe never will again, and taking a deep breath, I say, “You think I don’t know what you’re doing, forcing me to come to New York like this so you can try and feed me your bullshit lies. Using Vicky and the magazine to get to me. It’s low Jake, even for you. And if you thought for one moment this would give you the chance to fix things, somehow make me care for you again, then you’re sadly mistaken. All you are doing is making it easier for me to hate you more than I already do.” Another deep breath. “Please ask Stuart to email the flight and accommodation details to me. Goodbye, Jake.”
“Tru, no! Wait! You’ve got it all wrong! Just talk to me, hear me out on this, please.”
I still for a minute.
I’m wobbling again. I close my eyes and see the image of him in bed with her.
“No.”
I hang the phone up on him.
Dropping it to the floor, I start sobbing into my hands.
We land in at JFK at 10pm. Simone is with me. I was going to come alone as I’m only doing a short stop over. But Simone didn’t want me to come alone. She was insistent. And she said she was going to come and see Denny soon anyway, so she was killing two birds.
Dave’s in the airport waiting for us.
“Hey, Tru,” he smiles down at me.
“Hi, Dave.” I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.
He looks at me surprised, and I see a little flush rise in his cheeks.
“I’ve missed you,” I say to him. It’s true I have. I’ve missed all of them.
“Well, we’ve all missed you here too.” I get the distinct impression he’s referring to Jake in that sentiment.
“Hi, Simone,” he says taking both our cases from us. “The car’s just up front.”
Threading my arm through Simone’s we follow Dave out to the car.
Denny is in the car waiting for us – well Simone, not me obviously. And she’s a little more than overjoyed to see him.
It makes me hurt.
I’m happy for her of course, but it just reminds me of the time I landed in Stockholm and Jake was waiting in the car for me. The day we swapped our friendship bracelets.
I touch it on my wrist. I haven’t been able to take it off yet. I’m still wearing the Tiffany necklace too.
I will take them both off, soon, I’m just not ready to yet.
A little part of me wondered if Jake would be waiting in the car for me, and I hate that I felt such a strong smart of disappointment that he wasn’t.
He hasn’t tried to make any form of contact with me in the last few days. No flowers. No letters. He’s been completely quiet.
Maybe he’s finally got the message after I told him on the phone.
Good, I’m glad.
I think.
Crap.
I sit up front with Dave, to give the lovebirds a little time to themselves in the back, on the ride to the hotel, and I chat with him about everything from the weather to sports, making sure to avoid any conversation that could lead to Jake.
We’re staying at the Mandarin Oriental. Dave parks up in the hotel car park, and insists on taking my case up to my suite for me. Denny’s all set with Simone’s. He’s so sweet to her.
Denny and Simone are staying on the 52nd floor, so they get out of the lift first. I’m on the 53rd.
Simone hugs me goodbye as she’s getting out of the lift.
“Will you be okay?” she says into my ear. “I can stay with you if you want.”
“Don’t be silly, I’ll be fine,” I say releasing myself from her embrace. “Go have fun with Denny and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She reluctantly backs out of the lift. “You know where I am if you need me.”
“I do, now go … night, Denny.” I smile at him.
“See you later, Tru.”
Dave lets go of the hold button, and I wave to Simone as the doors close.
We go up one more floor, and then we’re at mine.
Dave wheels my case along the hall for me.
“This is you,” he says, stopping outside the double door marked Presidential Suite.
What the hell?
He puts the key card in and pushes open one of the doors for me.
“I’m staying in here?” I give him a confused look.
Dave nods, and hands me the key card.
“Alone?”
“Yes, Tru,” he chuckles.