The suppressed passion, rising and throbbing like a white flame in her
face and eyes, made her stop for a moment, breathing hard. Looking up
she met Sir Norman's gaze, and as if there was something in its quiet,
pitying tenderness that mesmerized her into calm, she steadily and
rapidly went on.
"I awoke to a new life, after that; but not to one of freedom and
happiness. I was as closely, even more closely, guarded than ever; and I
found, when too late, that I had bartered myself, soul and body, for an
empty promise. The only difference was, that I saw more new faces; for
the dwarf began to bring his confederates and subordinates to the house,
and would have me dressed up and displayed to them, with a demoniac
pride that revolted me beyond everything else, if I were a painted
puppet or an overgrown wax doll. Most of the precious crew of scoundrels
had wives of their own and these began to be brought with them of
an evening; and then, what with dancing, and music, and cards, and
feasting, we had quite a carnival of it till morning.
"I liked this part of the business excessively well at first, and I was
flattered and fooled to the top of my bent, and made from the first, the
reigning belle and queen. There was more policy in that than admiration,
I fancy; for the dwarf was all-powerful among them and dreaded
accordingly, and I was the dwarf's pet and plaything, and all-powerful
with him. The hideous creature had a most hideous passion for me then,
and I could wind him round my finger as easily as Delilah and Samson;
and by his command and their universal consent, the mimicry of royalty
was begun, and I was made mistress and sovereign head, even over the
dwarf himself. It was a queer whim; but that crooked slug was always
taking such odd notions into his head, which nobody there dared laugh
at. The band were bound together by a terrible oath, women and all; but
they had to take another oath then, that of allegiance to me.
"It quite turned my brain at first; and my eyes were so dazzled by the
pitiful glistening of the pageant, the sham splendor of the sham court,
and the half-mocking, half-serious homage paid me, that I could see
nothing beyond the shining surface, and the blackness, and corruption,
and horror within, were altogether lost upon me. This feeling increased
when, as months and months went by, they were added to the mock peers of
the Midnight Court, real nobles from that of St. Charles. I did not know
then that they were ruined gamesters, vicious profligates, and desperate
broken-down roues, who would have gone to pandemonium itself, nightly,
for the mad license and lawless excesses they could indulge in here to
their heart's content. But I got tired of it all, after a time: my
eyes began slowly to open, and my heart--at least, what little of that
article I ever had--turned sick with horror within me at what I had
done. The awful things I saw, the fearful deeds that were perpetrated,
would curdle your very blood with horror, were I to relate them. You
have seen a specimen yourself, in the cold-blooded murder of that wretch
half an hour ago; and his is not the only life crying for vengeance on
these men. The slightest violation of their oath was punished, and
the doom of traitors and informers was instant death, whether male or
female. The sham trials and executions always took place in presence
of the whole court, to strike a salutary terror into them, and never
occurred but once a week, when the whole band regularly met. My power
continued undiminished; for they knew either the dwarf or I must be
supreme; and though the queen was bad, the prince was worse. The said
prince would willingly have pulled me down from my eminence, and have
mounted it himself; but that he was probably restrained by a feeling
that law-makers should not be law-breakers, and that, if he set the
example, there would be no end to the insubordination and rebellion that
would follow."