“Soccer?”
“No.”
“Tennis?”
“Ian, if you touched her, I swear I’ll rip your golden locks from your brain one by one.”
I crunched down on a Cool Ranch Dorito. “Golf?”
“Volleyball,” Blake supplied, coming up beside us. “Actually.”
I snapped my fingers. “That explains the clothes.”
Gabi looked back and forth between us. “The clothes?”
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Blake looked down.
I laughed.
They didn’t.
Clearing my throat, I crunched on another chip, flashed a smile, and said, “Absolutely nothing.”
“He belong to you?” Blake was pointing at me like I wasn’t part of the conversation.
“Unfortunately.” Gabi sighed. “You know how your parents always tell you not to feed the strays?” Her eyes met mine. “He was so cute at first, like all puppies. Then he started biting all my friends.”
“Love you too, boo.” I kissed her on the forehead and slapped her ass. “And they’re love-bites.”
Blake watched the exchange with wide eyes.
“Ian,” Lex shouted. “Are we going to do this or what? I have a test in the morning.”
That was his angle.
And he was so damn good at it that even I had to bow down and give him a pat on the ass.
He was a computer genius.
A hot science nerd.
I imagined he was what would happen if Bill Gates were reborn a Greek god. One day Lex was going to take over the world. That was, if he stopped banging the wrong chicks, i.e., his professors’ favorite students.
Girls adored him because he had a brain. Too bad he used his powers for evil. In a way, he was the villain to my hero.
I saved the girls from settling for tools, losers, and frat boys; that is, I saved them from guys like Lex. And Lex made sure, via his illegal computer programs and research, that our clients were legit.
He took the evil ones.
I helped the good ones.
I think we fed off each other’s powers. The perfect balance between good and evil.
Serena giggled at something Lex said. Hell, she’d probably giggle if he spelled “astronaut” correctly.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I did girls like that on a biweekly basis to blow off steam, but that’s all they were good for; the one contribution they had to society was that they didn’t care about anything beyond the fact that guys like Lex and me had six-packs and we let them touch each muscle while giggling.
“Yup.” I tossed my muscular body onto the couch and stretched out. “Final episode. Feel free to watch, girls, but if anyone talks, I’m taping their mouth shut.”
“Not yet!” Gabi ran and stood in front of the TV. “It’s a welcome party for my roomies. We have to socialize first.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “Right.”
The room was silent.
“Well, if this isn’t like a forced blind date,” I said to myself. Sort of.
Hey, it was a small living room.
“You would know.” Gabi’s eyes narrowed. And I froze. Because if there was anything we agreed upon, it was that we never talked about Wingmen Inc. It was like Fight Club, only better, because it revolved around keeping sad girls from having sex with douchebags.
Stop shaking your head. What I did in my spare time, off the clock, was totally different. I didn’t bang sad girls; I banged stupid girls. Note the difference.
“Come on, Gabs.” Lex pushed Serena away from him. “Get off it. We met the roomies, Ian brought food, and you’re still single.” He sneered in her direction, running his hand over his dark buzzed hair. “All is right in the world.”
Gabi lunged for him.
I jumped in between them and quickly pulled her body back against mine as we sank into the deep leather couch. Gabi might have been small, but she was scrappy.
“Shh,” I whispered in her ear. “You know he’s just being a prick because he hasn’t gotten laid this week.”
Lex cursed and rejoined Serena on the couch. He was a pretty easygoing guy, unless he was in the same room as Gabi. Then he lost his shit and resembled Crazy Eyes from Orange Is the New Black.
“Let’s just watch the last episode,” I suggested. “Then we’ll have dessert.”
I eyed Serena when saying “dessert.”
So did Lex.
Gabi elbowed me dangerously close to the groin.
“He already peed on her,” I whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry.”
“You disgust me.” She pressed “Play” and leaned back against me.
With a smirk, I whispered back in her ear. “You love me, little sis.”
“Sometimes I wonder why.”
“I bring up the group average by at least two points, admit it.”
“Only because you have nice hair,” she grumbled.
“That’s my girl.”
Smiling, I comfortably set her next to me, but felt like I was being watched. I turned just in time to see Blake cover her face with that giant mop of hair again and look down at her ugly flip-flops.
Huh. I wondered what her story was, but only until I heard the familiar music of GoT and was sucked back into a fantasy world that made mine look like child’s play.
Ten minutes in, I felt the staring again.
I adjusted myself on the couch and turned.
Blake wasn’t staring, but she was texting.