Why? That was her first question. Why Cole when there were several other Dominants within the group who could do it? Why did Cole agree to the arrangement when he could have any submissive he wanted? Why decide to retrain a submissive so messed up he couldn’t even have sex with her?
She hadn’t had sex in over nine months, not since Peter. Sometimes she wondered if she’d ever enjoy sex again. Her sexuality was so deeply entwined with her need to submit, it didn’t seem possible to have one without the other. She feared she’d never be at the place where she could completely give herself to a Dominant. Cole certainly had his work cut out for him.
She leaned against the counter while the coffeepot gurgled and sputtered. She wished it were a weekday. If it were, Julie would be arriving at their floral shop downstairs in a few hours and they could talk. But it was Sunday and Julie lived with Daniel now. She was collared, bound to him. Sasha no longer felt comfortable dropping by unannounced like she’d done in the past.
“Doesn’t really matter,” she said to the empty kitchen. “It’s not like you would call her at four in the morning anyway.”
She poured a cup of coffee and walked over to a window overlooking the historic district. What were the odds Cole was up and looking out his window right now? Was he a light sleeper? Did he hog the covers?
With a shake of her head, she forced herself to stop. He was the Dominant selected to retrain her, and they had no relationship beyond that. She would never know which side of the bed he preferred or if he was a grouch before he had coffee.
Suddenly, she felt very alone.
Everyone else in the group was pairing up lately. Julie had Daniel. Dena had Jeff. And Abby and Nathaniel had been married forever.
As if hearing her thoughts, Pip, the stray kitten, meowed softly and butted her head against her ankles. Sasha reached down and picked her up.
“Thank goodness I’m not totally alone. I have you.”
Pip started to purr and Sasha buried her face in the soft white fur. Doing so reminded her of the day Cole and Nathaniel rescued her. Cole didn’t quite know how to handle the newly-freed-from-certain-death kitten, especially when the poor animal struggled to get away. But when Sasha had taken her from him, Cole had looked at her strangely. She wasn’t sure what it was, maybe surprise? But there was something else she couldn’t put her finger on.
She took a long sip of coffee. Was Cole a dog person? No, probably not. He traveled too much. Jesus. She tried not to think about him, but the questions just kept coming. Would he be staying in Delaware long? How long would he need to retrain her?
She knew he and his previous submissive, who’d also been his long-term girlfriend, had broken up months ago. She’d never heard exactly what had happened between the two of them. She’d picked up bits and pieces about Cole and Kate from listening to other group members. She knew they had been together for eight years before they split and that Kate had left him.
Maybe Julie would know more, since Daniel and Cole were such close friends. And Dena had been in the group for a long time. It wouldn’t hurt to ask her a few questions. But it would probably be best to talk to Abby. After all, Abby was the one Sasha had sat down with first to discuss coming back to the group, after she’d given Nathaniel her paperwork.
Sasha liked Abby. She was easygoing and fun to be around. More so than her husband. Nathaniel was too quiet and intense for Sasha’s taste.
But, she pondered, how much did she really want to know about Kate? What would a woman be like who dated a man such as Cole for so long? Not just date, but live with. She tried to imagine what it would be like to live with him: sharing a bathroom and fighting over the toothpaste, sitting on a couch watching a movie, and curling up in bed after a long day.
It all seemed too domestic for how she pictured him.
She set Pip down, poured herself another cup of coffee, and made her way to the living room couch, where she’d left her knitting. After the incident with Peter, she’d discovered knitting kept her mind calm. The meeting with Cole looming before her this afternoon, some time with her knitting needles was just what she needed.
Currently, she was working on baby blankets for the local hospital. On her most recent trip to the craft store, she’d found the softest yarn. It’d been on sale and she’d bought every bit they had. Already she had two blankets completed. Putting her coffee aside, she got comfortable and started on the third.
• • •
She was almost late meeting him. He sent a text midmorning asking if two o’clock would be good for their coffee shop discussion. She’d replied back that would work and went to take a shower, only to discover she had no hot water. She found the problem and fixed it, then walked into the living room to be greeted by yarn pulled all over the floor. She cursed Pip under her breath, but knew she could only blame herself. She’d been so frazzled by Cole’s phone call, she hadn’t put her knitting away. By the time she cleaned the mess up, she was running short on time.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as the coffee shop’s door closed behind her. Someone had just baked a fresh batch of croissants. The warm yeasty smell greeted her and her stomach rumbled. With everything going on with the water heater and the yarn mess, she hadn’t had time to eat lunch.
Food would have to wait a little bit longer, though. She glanced around the shop and started slightly when she found Cole watching her intently from a secluded booth in the far corner. He lifted an eyebrow when their eyes met. She gave what she hoped was a convincing smile and made her way toward him.
“Sasha,” he said, standing with a smile and waving her into the booth. “How are you today?”
She slid into the booth across from him. “I’m fi—” she started, but then stopped, remembering his words from the previous night. “If you must know, Sir, I didn’t sleep well last night. My water heater went out and I had to fix it so I could take a shower. Then I walked into the living room and Pip had dragged my yarn all over the floor. I didn’t have a chance to eat lunch because I ran out of time. I’m tired and hungry, and more than a little apprehensive about the discussion we’re about to have.”
He gave her an easy smile. “See? Look at everything I would have missed out on hearing about had I not stripped that horrid word from your vocabulary yesterday.”
Because she pictured him as a stern Dominant, the jovial, easygoing side of his everyday personality caught her off guard. “I’ve never thought of it as a horrid word, but I do see your point, Sir.”