“No.”
“You know, Charlotte, if you weren’t interested in marrying me in the first place you could have—”
“Marrying you!” Charlotte’s head snapped up. “You planned on asking me to marry you?” For one wild second she was paralyzed with shock, unable to move or think. There must’ve been a mistake. It was a joke. Jason Manning was a confirmed bachelor, wasn’t he? Despite her feelings for him, Charlotte had accepted that.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t know,” he said.
“But I thought…I thought you wanted to stop seeing me.”
He snickered as though he didn’t believe her and turned away. “Why would I take you to a fancy restaurant if I wanted to say something as ridiculous as that?” He turned back, glaring at her.
“To let me down easy. What did you expect me to think, when you were in such a bad mood?”
“I already told you I’m no good at this sort of thing. If you want romance and a bunch of pretty words, you’re going to have to marry someone else.”
She was on her feet and not quite sure how she got there. “You honestly want to marry me?” she repeated as her eyes brimmed with tears. They were tears of relief. Tears of joy.
“Sit down,” he said gruffly. “If I’m going to do this, I want to do it right.”
Charlotte complied and was shocked when Jason got down on one knee directly in front of her. He cleared his throat. “I love you, Charlotte. I wasn’t planning to fall in love with you, but I knew it was happening, and I let it happen because—well, I don’t really know. It happened and I’m glad it did. I can’t think of spending a day without you at my side. I can’t imagine playing softball without you there. I love you. I love the chocolate chip cookies you bake. I admire you for the wonderful job you’ve done raising Carrie. I’m deeply impressed by your wisdom and courage.”
“Oh, Jase.” She blinked back her tears and brought her fingertips to her lips.
“You’re the first woman I ever dated who let me be myself. You didn’t feel obligated to clean up after me. You don’t act as if my refrigerator’s some kind of scary science experiment.” He grinned, apparently pleased with his own wit. “You even like sports.”
The lump in her throat made it impossible to speak. Tears ran unrestrained down her face. With all her heart she wanted to shout, “Yes, I’ll marry you,” and throw her arms around him. But she was afraid to believe Jason would continue to love her once he learned how inadequate she was, how worthless she was as a lover. She didn’t know if she could bear to disappoint him.
“If it helps,” he said in a low voice, “I talked to Carrie, and she’s all for us getting married.”
Charlotte sniffed tearfully. “You mean my daughter’s given you her seal of approval?”
“Yup.”
There was another silence. Then he said, “I don’t mean to rush you, but I have this sore knee. I slid into first base last week and I’ve been in pain ever since. So, if you don’t mind, I’d prefer a quick answer.”
Before she could stop herself, before she could listen to her head instead of her heart, she nodded. It wasn’t a very enthusiastic nod, perhaps, but Jason didn’t seem to have any objections.
“Thank God,” he murmured, awkwardly rising to his feet.
“You idiot. You didn’t have to get down on your knee,” she whispered through her tears.
“Yes, I did,” he said, but he sounded grateful to be off it as he sat down on the log beside her. A deep sigh rumbled through his chest. “It wasn’t the most romantic proposal, was it?”
“Oh, Jase, it was perfect,” she said, touching the side of his face and gazing into his eyes. Her throat was tight and constricted. “What you said about not being able to live without me…that’s how I feel about you. Sharing cookies, going to ball games, walking the dog together—it all sounds wonderful. I guess I’m not much of a romantic, either,” she said with a shy laugh.
“I didn’t buy a diamond ring. I figured you’d want to pick a setting yourself.”
A ring. Charlotte froze. Soon he’d want to discuss a wedding date. A chill worked its way through her, the same cold feeling she’d experienced whenever Tom wanted to make love. A sick sensation would build in the pit of her stomach and by the time they went to bed she’d feel encased in ice. All Tom had to do was kiss her and he’d know. Then the tirades would begin, the accusations, the ugliness.
Jason was going to kiss her, too. Now. His lips grazed hers. Briefly. Lightly. The cold fear melted as if it had never been. Charlotte groaned and slipped her arms around his neck.
He kissed her again, but this time the kiss blossomed into something wild and erotic that left Charlotte panting, seeking more.
They drew apart, and she rested her forehead against his. When he spoke, his voice was husky and warm, as warm as heated brandy and just as intoxicating.
“We’re going to be very good in bed,” he whispered.
Charlotte tensed, panic a heartbeat away, but she forced it down, focusing instead on how gentle he’d always been with her. How patient. With Jason, she’d felt a level of pleasure she’d never realized she was capable of reaching. When he kissed her she felt hot and quivery from the inside out. Maybe it would be different this time, with this man. Maybe. She prayed that was true.
“You’re worried about making love, aren’t you?”
She nodded.
“I’d never hurt you, Charlotte. I hope you understand that. Whatever the problem is, we’ll work it out together.”
“I’m grateful…for that.” Despite the excitement she felt at his kisses, she had to fight back the fear that threatened to choke her every time he mentioned the physical aspects of their relationship.