Richard faced the werewolves. He brought his hands upward, making a soothing gesture like he'd done at the movie set. The prickling energy in the room went down a notch. He was forcing their power back.
"All it takes is a scratch, Richard," Sylvie said. "You'll never reach us in time."
"I forbid this," Richard growled. "No one is to be infected against their will. Especially Anita."
"Why?" Sylvie said. "Because if she wasn't human, you wouldn't want her? Not taking the pack to your bed is just another way of denying what you are, Richard."
Something passed over his face behind the anger and the power: uncertainty.
I knew in that moment she was right.
Sylvie whispered in my ear, her breath warm on my face. "See his face."
"Yeah," I said.
"He accuses you of not being able to sleep with him because you think he's a monster, but if I make you one of us, he won't want you. He thinks of all of us as monsters, but not good old Richard. He's better than the rest of us."
"I will hurt you, Sylvie. I'll bleed you, do you understand," Richard said.
"But you won't kill me, will you?" she said. Her arm flexed, long claws tickled down my face.
I put my hands on her arm, trying to hold it away from me, and not succeeding. "I'llkill you," I said.
She went very still against my body. "For changing you into one of us? For losing you Richard's love when he sees you monstrous and furry?"
I spoke very low, very carefully. "You hate what you are, Sylvie."
Her arm convulsed tight enough that I couldn't breathe for a second. "I don't hate what I am. I accept what I am." Her arm loosened.
I took a shaky breath and tried again. "I saw the look on your face when I accused you of being jealous. You are jealous of me being human, Sylvie. You know you are."
She held her other hand up in front of my face, letting me get a good look at the long, thin claws. The hand at my throat combed claws through my hair.
"You know that Raina has forbidden us to make you lukoi. She's afraid if you joined us, you'd be a better bitch than she is."
"How flattering," I whispered. I looked at Richard through the backs of the werewolves. His eyes had gone amber and alien. Even now, I knew, he wouldn't kill Sylvie. Even if she bled me, infected me, he wouldn't kill her. It was there in the pain on his face. The confusion replacing the fear.
Maybe Sylvie saw it. Maybe she'd made her point. Whatever, she uncurled herself from my body and stood carefully on the other side of me.
I scuttled away on all fours as fast as I could go. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't slick, but it was effective.
I crawled until I came to the far wall. I stayed sitting against it, as far away from everything in the room as I could get.
The other werewolves had faded away. Sylvie and Richard stood facing each other. Sylvie's eyes had gone a strange liquid grey, wolf eyes.
Richard flung his power outward. It ate along my skin, tore a gasp from my throat.
Sylvie stood in that flood of power and didn't flinch. "The power is impressive, Richard, but it means nothing as long as Marcus lives."
He backhanded her, in a blur of motion that was too fast to follow. Sylvie careened into the wall and slid to the floor, stunned.
"I am pack leader," Richard's voice roared, and he raised clawed hands to the sky. He fell to his knees, and I didn't go to help. I stayed huddled against the wall, wishing I'd packed an extra gun.
Richard crouched on the floor, rocking gently. He curled on his knees into a ball, and I felt him swallow the power back. I felt it drain away. He stayed crouched on the floor, hugging himself for a long time after the power vanished from the room, head down, his hair hiding his face.
Sylvie got to her knees and crawled towards him. She crouched beside him, smoothing his hair back on one side. "We would follow you anywhere if you would kill for us. She will kill for us. If your mate, your lupa, will kill for us, it might be enough."
Richard raised his head up with a shudder. "No one is to be infected against their will, that is my word, and my order." He raised back on his knees.
Sylvie stayed crouched down, face near the floor, a sign of abasement. "But you will not kill to enforce it."
"I will kill to protect Anita," Rafael said.
Everyone looked at him.
He met their eyes and didn't back down. "If anyone touches her against her will, I and mine will hunt them down."
"Rafael," Richard said, "don't do this."
He stared at Richard. "You bring a human among us, but you do not protect her. Someone has to."
I wanted to say I could protect myself, but it wasn't true. I was good, but I was just human. It wasn't enough.
"I can't let you do my dirty work for me," he said.
"I am your friend, Richard," Rafael said. "I do not mind."
Sylvie hugged the ground at Richard's feet. "Will you let the Rat King kill your pack? Is he our leader now?"
He stared down at her, and something happened to his face, not otherworldly, or wolf, but a hardness, almost a sadness passed over him. I watched it, and I didn't like it. If I'd had my gun, I might have shot Sylvie for making that look pass over his face. "I will kill anyone who breaks my word. I have spoken, and it is law."
Sylvie abased herself even lower, and the other wolves came crowding around, crawling on the floor, abasing themselves in front of him. Some of them licked his hands, touched his body. They moved around him until he was nearly hidden from sight.
Richard stood up, walking through them, their hands clinging to his legs. He bent down and picked up the Firestar from the floor and walked over to me. He looked normal enough, all the wolfish changes hidden away. He handed me the gun, butt first. "Are you all right?"
I cradled the gun in both hands. "Sure."
"I value your humanity, Anita. Sylvie's right. How can I ask you to embrace my beast, when I can't do it myself?" The pain on his face was heartrending. "I will kill to keep you safe. Does that make you happy?"
I stared up at him. "No," I said. "I thought it would, but no." I felt like Rafael, I'd kill for him. I'd kill to keep the pain out of his eyes.
I holstered the gun and raised my right hand to him. His eyes widened. He understood the gesture. He took my hand and raised me to my feet. He drew me with him towards the waiting wolves.
I hung back, pulling on his hand.
"I said I'd kill for you, Anita." His voice was soft and harsh at the same time. "Don't you believe I'd do it?"
His eyes were utterly sad. It was like something inside of him that he'd kept alive all these years was dead now. I believed the look in his eyes. He would kill to protect me, and the decision had cost him dearly.
The werewolves closed around us. I would have said they crawled around us, but that didn't cover what they were doing. Crawling wasn't graceful, or sensuous, but this was. They moved like they had muscles in places that people didn't. They circled us and rolled their eyes up at us. When I met those eyes, they looked away, all except Sylvie. She met my gaze and held it. It was a challenge, but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about it.
A hand touched me, and I jerked away from it. Only Richard's hand on mine kept me from going for my gun. He held both my hands in his and drew me to him, our bodies not quite touching. He met my eyes and held them. He wasn't afraid. I tried to relax, but it wasn't working.
"This is my lupa. Know her scent, know her skin. She has shed our blood, and shed her blood for us. She stands as protector for those weaker than herself. She will kill for us, if we ask. She is your alpha."
Sylvie and Neal stood up. They both moved out of the circle. They stood, staring at me, at Richard. The others crouched on the floor, watching.
"She is not dominant to me," Sylvie said.
"She is not even one of us," Neal said, "I won't bow to her. I could break her in half with one hand." He shook his head. "She isn't my alpha."
"What's happening, Richard?" I asked.
"I tried to bring you into the pack, make you one of us without contaminating you."
"Why?" I asked.
"If you're going to protect Stephen, then you deserve the protection of the pack. If you're going to take risks for us, then you deserve to have the benefits of our protection."
"No offense," I said, "but I haven't been too impressed with your protection so far." The minute I said it, I wished I hadn't. His face fell.