When it was over, the truckers did what they always did. They honked a few times, gave Elroy two thumbs up, and sped on ahead of him as if nothing had ever happened.

Elroy switched off the overhead light and said, “Could you please hand me a Kleenex? I keep them in the glove box for occasions like this.” The silence in the car made him smile. He knew it wouldn’t last long.

Kyle opened the glove box and a pile of condoms fell onto the floor. He grabbed a few tissues and handed them to Elroy. “Sometimes I think you enjoy torturing me this way. It’s like you can’t wait to think of something more vulgar than the time before to shock me.”

Elroy wiped the come off his chest and tossed the wadded tissue onto Kyle’s lap on purpose. He smiled and said, “Sometimes I think you enjoy what I do more than you’re willing to admit.” Elroy noticed Kyle hadn’t turned off the overhead light a second time. He could have done that. He could have insisted they pull over. But he didn’t. “Sometimes I think you love what I do. And I have a feeling you’re not the prig everyone else thinks you are.”

Kyle reached for the wadded tissue on his lap and held it in his hand. He didn’t seem to mind the fact that Elroy’s come was all over it. The car had a bleached smell that reminded Elroy of a swimming pool. Kyle turned toward Elroy and said, “I’m curious about something. How would you like it if I did the same things you do?”

This question threw Elroy. “Huh?”

“How would you like it if I took off all my clothes and jacked off for truckers and strange men in restrooms? What would you think of me?”

Elroy had to think about this for a moment. “It’s a moot point because you’d never do that.” This seemed a safe way to answer. With Kyle he could never be certain.

Kyle reached for a bag at his feet where he’d been putting all the trash from the junk food he’d been eating. He put the tissue in the bag and said, “I’m not saying I would do it. I’m only curious about how you’d feel if I did do it. There’s a difference.”

Elroy took a deep breath. He knew he had to put his clothes back on but it felt so good to be naked in the car. It would have been nice if Kyle had reached over to massage his nuts, but he didn’t dare him to do it. “I guess I’m not sure how I’d feel,” he said. Why did he always have to talk about feelings?

“Think about it,” Kyle said.

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A minute later, Elroy said, “Okay, I guess I wouldn’t like it if you did it. But only because it would be so out of character for you, not because I would be judging you.”

“Exactly,” Kyle said. “If I started taking off my clothes on a whim for truckers, or if I started having sex with strange men in restrooms, you’d be disgusted with me.”

Elroy rubbed his jaw. “Well, I wouldn’t say disgusted. Don’t put words in my mouth. I would be more disappointed in you. I would think you’d been lying to me all along and pretending to be someone you aren’t.”

Kyle leaned over the console and kissed him on the cheek.

Elroy smiled and asked, “What was that for? I thought you’d be mad at me for the rest of the way after what just happened.”

Kyle sat back and said, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not at all thrilled with what you did. It was vulgar at best. But I think there’s hope for you. I may or may not be the one to change you. But I do think there’s hope.”

This was new territory for Elroy. “I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I didn’t know I needed to be changed.”

Kyle shrugged. “It’s nothing serious. But you do have to work on a few small fundamental flaws. But I’m making progress.”

“You make it sound like I’m an experiment or something,” Elroy said. “I’m not sure I get that.”

Kyle asked, “Are you bored now?”

“No, I’m not bored.”

“That’s interesting,” Kyle said. “We’ve been talking for a long time and you said talking is boring earlier.”

Elroy smiled. He had to learn to stop underestimating him. He reached for Kyle’s hand and said, “I think I’ll pull over now and let you drive. I’m getting a little tired. Do you mind?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Kyle said. “I enjoy driving. And you can put on your clothes.”

“I think I’ll stay naked for a while. I’ll just climb over the seat when you get out. I’m comfortable. Maybe you could rub my stomach until I fall asleep.”

Kyle squeezed his hand hard and flung him a look.

“Or I could put on my clothes,” Elroy said. “God forbid I should be too comfortable.”

Chapter Eighteen

The days between Thanksgiving weekend and Christmas passed so quickly that year Elroy found himself trying to figure out a way to get out of spending the holidays with his dreaded relatives sooner than he’d realized. He knew Kyle had to go home to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his family. Kyle had already mentioned he couldn’t get out of it no matter how hard he tried. Kyle’s mom had made this clear to him the week after Thanksgiving. Though Kyle pretended to be independent, Elroy suspected the mother was the controlling type.

It hadn’t been an easy time either. Lev Godwin had been forgiven and he’d started studying again with Kyle. This made Elroy wonder about Kyle’s motivations. Kyle had stated he didn’t trust Lev and never would be able to trust Lev after he found him in bed with Elroy’s foot in his mouth. Yet he started studying with him again. Talk about mixed signals. When Elroy found out about this he punched the table beside his bed and said, “I thought you said you didn’t want Lev Godwin around here anymore, Kyle.” Kyle shrugged and said, “He’s redeemed himself. He swore to me he’d never try anything sexual with me as long as he lived. I don’t have a right to judge him or to make him a sexual suspect in his own life.”

Although this didn’t even make sense to Elroy, he had no choice but to grin and deal with it. Kyle could be stubborn that way. Elroy thought about ways to get rid of Lev Godwin again, ways that would make him look repulsive to Kyle. But nothing he came up with was as repulsive as what he’d already done, so he gave up on that concept quickly.

After the Thanksgiving trip to Palm Beach, Elroy had hoped he would reach another level with Kyle. To Elroy’s surprise, he’d had a wonderful time and they didn’t have sex once. They went to a few of Elroy’s favorite restaurants, they spent long days on the beach, and they shopped at stores where Kyle’s jaw dropped when he saw the price tags. Money meant nothing to Elroy. He told Kyle he could have anything he wanted. But Kyle always declined and said, “It wouldn’t be right. But thank you for offering.”




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