I shuddered. I wasn't much liking the direction this conversation had taken.
"So, you see, I spent all that time in unarmed combat training sessions fighting myself. Trying not to hurt those men. It wasn't fun."
"Why the FBI?" Change the subject.
"The idea of the bad guy going after the bad guy appealed to me." He waited a few minutes before continuing.
"I killed a man when I was seventeen. He was setting traps out in the countryside where we grew up, and when I confronted him, he laughed at me. He was a big man, see, and he thought that he would easily be able to fight a teenager off. That laugh, and the derision and contempt behind it; that enraged me. I'd killed him before I even realised what I was doing."
His face hardened. "Afterwards, when I was standing over his broken body, I waited for the shame and remorse to wash over me. It never came. The only thing I felt was satisfaction. I realised then that there was something profoundly wrong with me."
I said nothing, because there was nothing to say.
"Marcus explained that my reaction had a biological basis, that it would make sense for those of us who had to survive on blood to not feel remorse when we killed. It made no difference to me. Biological basis or not, I was still a monster. Just before my father died, I swore to him that I would tame that monster. I have, to a degree, but I still know what I am, and what I am capable of."
"Funny thing is," he smiled wistfully, "my father always refused to believe me, that I was capable of such things. When I promised to tame my monster, he told me I already had, just by acknowledging its existence, and resolving not to succumb to it."
"It's not that easy, though. Sometimes that beast rears its ugly head whether I want it to or not." He paused again and then he turned his head to look at me, a wry, sad smile on his face. "I've got a feeling we might see it tonight."
Rebecca
My anger grew with my discomfort. It's amazing, but once I'd stopped feeling so helpless, once I'd realised that there was a way that I could escape from this situation, I stopped being afraid. The fact that I was going to have to kill one of these morons was an added bonus, of course.
We had been driving for what felt like hours. Then somebody started speaking.