“When you’re with me, you never have be afraid of anything. I would decimate any fucker who so much as looked at you wrong if you asked me to. Tonight, you believed that, and you dropped your guard. You trusted me. Every time you let down another one of those barriers, I know that you’re a bit closer to being mine. One day, when the last one falls, you’ll be as much mine as I am yours.”
With that mind-blowing declaration, he kissed my forehead gently.
“Are you sure you want them down? The stuff behind them isn’t pretty,” I whispered hoarsely.
“There’s not one bit of you, inside or out, that isn’t fucking beautiful. Nothing that happened to you before me is gonna change that,” he replied.
“I’m scared,” I admitted, the tears running tracks down my reddened cheeks.
“Me, too. I’m scared that you’ll take my heart and stomp the fuck out of it. But there ain’t nothing in this world for me worth fighting for more than you.”
O’Connell was literally seeing me at my worst. I was raw and ugly, yet still, here he sat, making himself as vulnerable to me as I was to him.
“I’ll tell you everything. But not today, okay?” I whispered, and he smiled gently.
“Not today,” he agreed.
“I’m sorry about your shirt.” I groaned.
“You really will do anything to get my clothes off, won’t you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, only to stop suddenly and lurch forward. Instinctively, O’Connell reached for my hair as I retched again, praying that this would all be over soon.
THE POUNDING SOUNDED like a bass drum next to my ear.
“Is that my head or the door?” I mumbled to O’Connell, my voice muffled by the pillow I’d pressed over my ears. A few months ago, I’d have been in the wardrobe at the first knock. Now, I trusted that O’Connell was bigger and badder than anything on the other side of the door. He would never know just how much progress that was for me.
“You’ve got company, sunshine,” O’Connell called out, as a body collapsed on the bed beside me.
“Why’d you disappear last night on me, bitch?” Nikki’s voice was hoarse from all the drinking she’d done.
“Don’t call me a bitch. It’s not nice,” I answered, though I was barely audible with my face embedded in the pillow.
“I don’t feel nice this morning, but I need credit for being an amazing friend ‘cause I bought you a coffee on the way over.”
I groaned with appreciation as I inhaled the delicious aroma. Peeling my face gently away from the pillow, I braved the daylight to look at her.
“You look like I feel,” I groaned.
“Now you’re definitely being a bitch.” She grinned.
O’Connell walked toward me with a glass of water and some painkillers, and sat down next to me on the bed.
“How you feeling, baby?” he asked, as I gratefully downed both.
“Awful. Why would anyone do that more than once?” I asked.
“Last night was great. Totally worth the hangover,” Nikki enthused.
“Maybe you should go a little easier next time,” O’Connell cautioned.
“I am NEVER. DRINKING. AGAIN,” I replied firmly. He chuckled and pulled me into his chest.
“Considering those abs are rock hard, you give pretty good cuddles,” I complimented him, as I snuggled in deeper.
“Yuk. Get a room,” Nikki complained.
“We did. You’re in it!” O’Connell replied. I smiled at the two of them, but I knew if Nikki wasn’t there, getting closely acquainted with each one of O’Connell’s abdominal muscles would have sounded like a pretty good hangover cure.
“You need anything before I go?” O’Connell asked me.
“Do you have to leave?” I groaned, perfectly happy to spend the rest of the morning lying across his chest.
“If I miss training even once, I don’t think that Danny would have me back. Kier’s supposed to be sparring with me today, so if he turns up hung over, Danny’s already gonna be on the war path,” he warned.
“Don’t worry. I know you have to go.” I glanced up at him, and he looked torn.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, alarmed.
“You never ask me to stay, and the one time you do, I really have to go,” he replied.
I smiled gently, even though it really made my head hurt to do it.
“I’m not asking you to stay. It’s important that you don’t let Danny down. If you mess this up, he might not give you another shot. Be gentle with Kier, though. I have a feeling he’s going to be a bit delicate today, and if you knock him out, you won’t have anyone to spar with. Then Danny really will be pissed.”
“You’re no fun.” He grinned. “I’ve been looking forward to beating on Kier all morning.”
I had the feeling that Kieran was really going to regret agreeing to train today. I was guessing that O’Connell kept a change of clothes in his car, because he was carrying his training bag when he bent over to kiss me.
“Bye, baby. I’ll see you soon.” He spoke softly, as we tried to ignore Nikki’s dramatic gagging noises by the side of me.
“Bye, Nikki,” he called out, winking at me on his way out. The soft click of the door sounded like a gunshot in my head. In the absence of O’Connell’s lovely warm body, I collapsed back into the pillow.
“If your man was a bar of chocolate, I’d be nibbling on that all day.”
“Nikki!” I blustered. “If he was a bar of chocolate, I’d never let you open the wrapper.”
She giggled at me, and I blushed, both of us knowing that we were picturing O’Connell naked.
“Don’t worry.” She sighed. “That boy only has eyes for you.”
The fact that O’Connell and I were technically just friends, and that Nikki had every right to look as much as she wanted, was something that would have to wait until my hangover had gone.
“I feel like crap,” I complained.
“Go back to sleep then. You’ll feel better later.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked her. It was kind of a weird situation, never having had a friend around just to hang out at home with before.
“I brought my laptop and some movies so I’m going to veg here all day until I feel less like I’ve been licking the pavement all night.”