Lady Yeine. He inclined his head, for once not smiling. Shouldnt you be at the Salon?
I hadnt been to the Salon in days, or reviewed my assigned nations records, either. It was hard to care about these duties, considering. I doubt the world will falter for my absence, now or in the next five days.
I see. What brings you here?
I was looking for you. My eyes were drawn toward the grate in the floor. It looked like an exceptionally ornate sewer grate, apparently leading to some sort of chamber under the floor. I could see light glowing from within that was brighter than the ambient light of the room Viraine and I stood inbut that odd sense of flatness, of grayness, was even stronger here. The light underlit Viraines face in a way that should have sharpened the angles and shadows in his expression, but instead it stripped them away.
What is this place? I asked.
Were below the palace proper, actually in the support column that elevates us above the city.
The column is hollow?
No. Only this space here at the top. He watched me, his eyes trying to gauge something I could not fathom. You didnt attend the celebration yesterday.
I was not certain whether the highbloods knew about the servants celebration and ignored it, or whether it was a secret. In case of the latter I said, I havent been in a celebratory mood.
If you had come, this would be less of a surprise to you. He gestured toward the grate at his feet.
I stayed where I was, suffused with a sudden sense of dread. What are you talking about?
He sighed, and abruptly I realized he was in an ugly sort of mood himself. One of the highlights of the Fire Day celebration. Im often asked to provide entertainment. Tricks and the like.
Tricks? I frowned. From what I knew, scrivening was far too powerful and dangerous to be risked on tricks. One miswritten line and gods knew what could go wrong.
Tricks. Of the sort that generally require a human volunteer. He gave me a thin smile as my jaw dropped. Highbloods are difficult to entertain, you seeyou being the natural exception. The rest He shrugged. A lifetime of indulging all manner of whims sets the bar for entertainment rather high. Or low.
From the grate at his feet, and the chamber beyond, I heard a hollow, strained moan that chilled both my souls.
What in the gods names have you done? I whispered.
The gods have nothing to do with it, my dear. He sighed, gazing into the pit. Why were you looking for me?
I forced my eyes, and my mind, away from the grate. I I need to know if theres a way to send a message to someone, from Sky. Privately.
The look he gave me would have been withering under ordinary circumstances, but I could see that whatever was in the oubliette had taken the edge off his usual sardonic attitude. You do realize spying on such communications is one of my routine duties?
I inclined my head. I suspected as much. Thats why Im asking you. If theres a way to do it, you would know. I swallowed, then privately chided myself for allowing nervousness to show. Im prepared to compensate you for your trouble.
In the strange gray light, even Viraines surprise was muted. Well, well. A tired smile stretched across his face. Lady Yeine, perhaps youre a true Arameri after all.
I do whats necessary, I said flatly. And you know as well as I do that I dont have time to be more subtle.
At that his smile faded. I know.
Then help me.
What message do you want to send, and to whom?
If I wanted half the palace to know, I wouldnt ask how to send it privately.
Im asking because the only way to send such a message is through me, Lady.
I paused then, unpleasantly surprised. But it made sense as I considered it. I had no idea how messaging crystals worked in detail, but like any sigil-based magic their function simply mimicked what any competent scrivener could do.
But I did not like Viraine, for reasons I could not fully understand myself. I had seen the bitterness in his eyes, heard the contempt in his voice on those occasions that he spoke of Dekarta or the other highbloods. Like the Enefadeh, he was a weapon and probably just as much a slave. Yet there was something about him that simply made me uneasy. I suspected it was that he seemed to have no loyalties; he was on no ones side except his own. That meant he could be relied upon to keep my secrets, if I made it worth his while. But what if there was more benefit for him in divulging my secrets to Dekarta? Or worseRelad and Scimina? Men who served anyone could be trusted by no one.
He smirked as he watched me consider. Of course, you could always ask Sieh to send the message for you. Or Nahadoth. Im sure hed do it, if sufficiently motivated.
Im sure he would, I replied coolly
* * *
The Darren language has a word for the attraction one feels to danger: esui. It is esui that makes warriors charge into hopeless battles and die laughing. Esui is also what draws women to lovers who are bad for themmen who would make poor fathers, women of the enemy. The Senmite word that comes closest is lust, if one includes the variations bloodlust and lust for life, though these do not adequately capture the layered nature of esui. It is glory, it is folly. It is everything not sensible, not rational, not safe at allbut without esui, there is no point in living.