“Am I teasing you too much?”
“No! I love it. You’re so f**king hot, Gabrielle. I’d love to bend you over that table right now and make you scream my name.”
“Are you two finished whispering sweet nothings to each other?” Adam called out. “I want to get out of here.”
“Leave them alone. They’re in love,” Jess answered him.
“They’re in court!” Adam shot back. “Let them be in love after work.”
Wednesday
IN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS OF PHILADELPHIA COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA
Commonwealth v. Stemple
“Ms. Stemple,” Judge Channing began, looking like he would have rather been anywhere else at the moment. “You wish to enter a guilty plea to driving under the influence of alcohol, fleeing and eluding police, and reckless endangerment?”
“Yes sir,” she answered. I strongly suspected that she would have rather been back at the bar that she was probably at until last call the night before. Either that or her perfume was called Eau d’ beer.
“You understand that you have a right to a trial and you’re waiving that right?” Judge Channing was looking at her suspiciously. He probably smelled the barroom too.
“Yes judge.”
“Mr. Pierce, please recite the facts of the case.”
“Your Honor, in the afternoon hours of May twenty-fifth in the County of Philadelphia, police responded to reports of a vehicle being operated in an erratic matter. Officer Luke McClusky got behind the vehicle, a white Hyundai Accent operated by the Defendant, Lucy Stemple, in his patrol unit, activated his lights and siren and motioned for the driver to pull over. In response, Ms. Stemple instead increased her speed and began veering in and out of traffic. Officer McClusky called for assistance and two other patrol units responded. After a chase lasting approximately ten minutes Ms. Stemple pulled into the parking lot of a liquor store and exited the vehicle as if she intended to enter the establishment. When officers ordered her to freeze and put her hands on her vehicle, she responded, and I quote, ‘just give me a second to grab some Jack Daniels, baby.’ At the time she was wearing cowboy boots.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Judge Channing broke in irritably.
“That’s all she was wearing, Your Honor,” Braden replied and the judge rolled his eyes.
“Ms. Ginsberg?” He glared at me and he sounded like he thought that I’d put her up to it! Jesus. I was doing my job here, you know? So much hostility.
“Your Honor, my client has been going through a difficult divorce. On the day in question she had just received word that her estranged husband would be getting remarried. She was feeling very emotional and not thinking clearly. She’s employed as a waitress at Denny’s and this is her first offense. She’s willing to seek drug and alcohol counseling.”
“Do you have anything to say, Ms. Stemple?” the judge asked.
“That ass**le took the best years of my life!” she slurred. “And now he’s marrying some little slut he met at his gym! You know, I may be thirty-eight but I still look good! I’m the same size I was in high school and my tits hardly sag! Ask that cop!” Well, at least she was dressed. I hoped she hadn’t driven there.
“About the case, Ms. Stemple,” I prodded, glancing at the judge nervously.
“Oh, sorry. It probably won’t ever happen again.”
“Well, I certainly hope not!” Judge Channing retorted, looking at her dubiously. “Is there an agreement?”
“Defendant served twenty-four hours, Your Honor. The Commonwealth will agree to a sentence of time served plus six months probation, mandatory drug and alcohol counseling and random urinalysis.”
“That’s your understanding Ms. Ginsberg?”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Ms. Stemple, I accept your plea of guilty and I hereby sentence you to serve twenty-four hours with credit for time served, six months probation, and you’ll need to complete drug and alcohol counseling with random urinalysis. Fines and costs. Off the record.” The stenographer stopped typing. “No more driving drunk. That’s not safe. Or naked. That’s not hygienic.”
“Yes judge,” she answered with a big smile.
“Court’s in recess. Ten minutes.” He banged his gavel and left without a backward glance. I grabbed the court order and went over to the defense table to wait for the comments. Braden decided to go first this time. At least he didn’t let our relationship stand in the way of teasing me.
“Yee haw!” he said with a laugh, leaning up against the prosecution table and looking far sexier than anyone had a right to.
“And I thought you dressed funny,” Adam added with a smile, leaning back in his chair and looking highly amused. Despite the seriousness and stress of the criminal justice system, there were plenty of moments for levity and this was clearly one. I wasn’t going to deny it.
“Just ignore them, honey,” Jess said patting me on the back as I sat down next to her at the defense table. Jess never let it get to her. I admired her for that.
“I loved how she wanted to go buy her Jack first before they arrested her,” Braden continued, obviously on a roll.
“It probably won’t happen again!” Adam laughed. “She’s not quite sure, but probably.”
“Hey, that ass**le took the best years of her life. Obviously the answer was to drive to the liquor store naked,” I noted dryly.
“She’s right, though,” Jess noted. “Her tits really don’t sag. She must not have any kids, thank God. What did he mean, that’s not hygienic?” She laughed.
“Who knows? I wish he wouldn’t look at me like I helped her plan it. It’s not like I was riding shotgun with her,” I added.
“He’s just ready to retire, Gab,” she consoled. “Ignore him, too.”
“So, Gabrielle, when you were in law school dreaming about providing the poor with access to justice, is this what you had in mind?” Adam asked. “Representing naked drunk drivers, eighty-five-year-old potheads, people who use their underwear as a shopping cart…”
“Yeah, okay. Maybe I should go back to the office and tell them that I’d like to represent a better class of criminals. It’s not like Cam’s private clients are wandering into the public defender’s office for financial planning advice.”
“Where’s he been anyway?” Adam asked.