“Gabrielle is exceptional,” Braden responded coldly.

“She does seem rather extraordinary. And not only beautiful but brilliant and accomplished too. I must confess that I’m jealous.” His voice was silky and his gaze was hot. He was looking at me rather like that snake from The Jungle Book. I half expected to see those little swirly things in his eyes.

“Well, we’re enjoying the, uh, monogamy. And happiness! We’re happy too. Happily monogamous! And stuff,” I said. True, it was rather an awkward thing to say, but my tone was upbeat! At least I was a friendly weirdo! His eyes raked over me unashamedly and then he moved on and I released the breath that I hadn’t realized I had been holding. I wondered if my eyes had those little swirly things now.

“And Cameron is here too. You, I have seen recently. Good thing you decided not to go to that party after all. Things didn’t turn out too well for the guests, as I’m sure you’ve heard. I must confess that I wasn’t heartbroken. They’re not my favorite people, even though I’m obviously a patron. And, is this lovely lady your …” He shifted his leer to Jess.

“Friend,” Cam answered. Derek was looking at Jess like he might want to devour her. Jess looked like a deer in the headlights. A brave little deer, but no match for a Buick. Then Derek gave her a cute grin that looked a lot like Cameron’s cute grin and I became convinced that he had evil superpowers and could morph into every woman’s dream guy. “Very close friend,” Cam added with a warning tone in his voice, grabbing her hand in his. Jess seemed to snap out of it then and looked at Cam with a smile. Derek nodded and then his eyes fixed on Lily with distinct interest – even beyond interest in getting her naked.

“I recognize you,” he said, making it sound dirty. A slow Grinch-like smile spread across his face. Uh oh.

“You do?” she asked dubiously. She gave him a thoughtful expression, like she was trying to place him. I wondered what Lily had been doing to research those steamy novels.

“From a book signing event in New York. Many women who I’ve known find your novels very stimulating.” I was pretty certain he meant women he had ‘known’ in the Biblical sense, and ‘stimulating’ in the, well you know, stimulating sense.

“Legal thrillers?” Adam, who had wound up sitting next to Lily, asked with a smile. I have to admit that I almost laughed out loud at the way he said it. I had a sneaking suspicion that Adam didn’t like Derek very much. I can’t imagine why not. Without answering, Derek shifted his gaze to him.

“Is she your girlfriend?” I could see that Lily was annoyed with how he had asked that question. It sounded kind of like he was asking him, “Is this your car?”

“Arch nemesis,” Adam said with a smile and I felt Jess kick him under the table. “Just kidding, Lily and I are very close,” he said, putting his arm around her. At least it was true in a literal sense. Derek gave Adam a look that seemed almost like a challenge but he moved on.

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“And is this your close friend, Drew?” he asked, looking at Mark. Drew and Mark looked at each other and then quickly back at Derek as understanding of his implication dawned.

“Good buddy,” Drew answered in a deeper voice than usual, slapping Mark on the back. “Just hanging out here. Doing guy stuff.”

“Talking about women. And sports. And beer. And uh …” Mark added.

“Condoms,” Drew added and I rolled my eyes. Brilliant.

“I see,” Derek said. “Well, I left a good friend of my own at the bar and she’ll be rather annoyed with me if I keep her waiting too long. Fun chatting with all of you. Ladies … perhaps I’ll see you on the dance floor.” And with that he left and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. I saw Adam let go of Lily. Was it my imagination or did he look a little reluctant to do it? Cam held on to Jess’s hand for a couple more minutes which was very promising. The waitress came back with our drinks and Braden suddenly dropped a coaster under the table until she left again.

“Did you know her well?” I asked a little tensely, wondering if she was someone he had actually hooked up with.

“No!” Braden answered reappearing from beneath the table. “She flirted with me a lot but I always got a weird vibe from her.” He got a weird vibe from her. Because, you know, he wasn’t acting weird at all at the moment. People hid under tables all the time in these places.

“So Derek seems kind of … alarming,” Jess said with a smile.

“It would be best if you ladies stayed close to us when he’s around,” Cam said, glancing in Derek’s direction. I followed his gaze and saw that Derek had his hand up his ‘friend’s’ miniscule dress and she was grinding against him. Charming.

“Looks like you and Lily are a couple,” Mark said with a smile to Adam.

“And so are you and Drew,” Adam replied with a smile of his own. Mark and Drew both looked at him menacingly and I suspected that they wanted to grab the first club chick who walked by and demonstrate their raging heterosexuality right here on the table.

We decided to split up and look around a little to check the place out. Braden and I went exploring with Adam. Lily, Cam and Jess headed off together and Drew hung out with Mark - as buddies – and fellow sports fans, beer drinkers and condom consumers. Finally we all made it back to our table, without anything very interesting to report. It was a club. Kind of a cool one, but just a club. I wasn’t really sure what I had expected to find here. Obviously, the cocktail napkin was just some drunken fireman’s forgotten trash.

“Let’s dance,” Lily said and I got up to join her and Jess out on the dance floor. You know, alcohol did really seem to improve my coordination and balance. Or more likely it just made me think it did. We danced to a fast song, and looking to my right I noticed Derek dancing with the woman from the bar, who had been joined by another one who looked amazingly similar. They both had big hair and were dressed in very skimpy outfits. Actually, I would classify what the women were wearing more as fabric swatches than outfits and what they were doing more as writhing than dancing. Derek himself had plenty of good moves. He seemed to have natural rhythm and he moved his hips well. What a surprise.

He must have sensed someone watching because he looked in my direction and smiled when he saw me. I looked away quickly. Oh f**k! I hadn’t been checking Derek out! He was just interesting to me because he was Braden’s cousin and apparently the black sheep of their family. It was too late though. The damage was done. Derek started subtly dancing the trashy twins over in our direction. Great!




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