“That’s correct, Your Honor. She was breaking in,” Braden answered, trying to look very serious. The key word being “trying”. He set his lips in a firm line and looked like maybe he was reciting baseball statistics in his head in an effort not to think too much about this one.
“Breaking in to prison?!” the judge asked incredulously. I wondered how many times a day he wished that he could say, “What the f**k?!” Okay, time to tell Tammy Sue’s side of it …
“Your Honor.” I sighed. “My client was a bit intoxicated and she missed her boyfriend. A lot. The alcohol and the, uh, missing, clouded her judgment. I think that we’ve all had nights like that.” I nodded my head and tried to look sympathetic.
“Most of us don’t try to break into prison, though, Ms. Ginsberg. She was scaling a wall not drunk dialing,” he responded irritably.
“She’s voluntarily sought counseling for alcohol abuse, Your Honor, and she’s seeing a therapist about possibly going on anti-depressants. She just has to make sure that she can operate heavy machinery on them. She works on a loading dock. She also understands that she’s only allowed in to see Hank at visiting hours. It was a momentary lapse.”
“Ms. Luchinsky, why would you do something like this?” Judge Channing asked, shaking his head in wonderment.
“Well, judge, my man’s been locked up for six months now and that night, ‘I Changed Her Oil and She Changed My Life’ came on the radio. That’s our song, sir, and I guess that I had just drunk a few too many cans of Pabst. You know how it is when a gal’s been drinkin’ especially when she’s been alone for a while. I’m a hot-blooded woman and I got hot-blooded womanly desires! I’ve been alone too long! I need some lovin’ and I need it bad!” I saw Braden put his fist to his mouth and squeeze his eyes shut. Judge Channing looked slightly alarmed like he thought that Tammy Sue might be trying to tell him something. Hell, maybe she was.
“Maybe Ms. Ginsberg could try to get you some conjugal visits,” Judge Channing muttered, looking like he found the thought rather distasteful. I can’t imagine why. Tammy Sue coughed up a lung into her hand. “Is there an agreement in place?” the judge asked, appearing a bit ill.
“Um,” Braden cleared his throat. “The Commonwealth has agreed to the defendant completing her alcohol counseling program and serving two years’ probation with random urinalysis.” He didn’t sound like he was going to make it much longer without losing it. I figured we had better wrap this up.
“That’s your understanding of the agreement, Ms. Ginsberg?”
“It is, Your Honor,” I answered quickly.
“Tammy Sue Luchinsky I accept your plea of guilty to criminal trespass and disorderly conduct and I hereby sentence you to complete your alcohol counseling program and serve two years’ probation subject to random urinalysis, and to pay fines and costs.” He banged his gavel “Court is in recess for five minutes! Wayne get me some Pepto!” With that he left the bench.
A female probation officer escorted Tammy Sue off to pee into a cup. I knew what was coming. I turned toward the prosecution table and prepared myself.
“Gabrielle, would you scale a prison wall for Braden’s lovin’?” Adam asked with a smile. I knew he had been waiting so patiently to ask me that.
“She might knock it down,” Braden teased, his voice cracking with suppressed laughter. “She can be very demanding.”
“You’d probably tunnel in one spoonful at a time to get to her junk, honey,” Jess answered tartly from the defense table. Jess always had my back.
“You know, I think I would!” Braden agreed and finally let go and cracked up.
“I’d like to talk to that guy,” Adam said. “I want to find out what he’s giving Tammy Sue there that would make her willing to break into a prison to get some.”
“The poor woman probably doesn’t have many opportunities,” Jess chided. “She looks like she could kill a man.”
“You should set her up with that old guy who was willing to risk his life to make a booty call.” Braden joked. “He’d give her some lovin’.” He pulled himself together and looked at me in such a boyishly cute way that I wanted to scale him.
“So, Gabrielle’s demanding, huh?” Adam asked suggestively. “All the time or just when she’s been drinkin’?”
“I think I’ve only ever seen her drunk once, that night at O’Malley’s,” Braden replied, calming down and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“I wasn’t drunk!” I protested, sorting through my files for my next wonderful case.
“You walked face first into a door,” Adam pointed out.
“I’ve done that before. I’ve been known to enter a party with a screen door stuck to my face before I’ve had a single drink.”
Having finished teasing me, Adam let Jess know that he had an offer on a case and she got up and went over to the prosecution table to discuss it. Braden, in turn, came over to the defense table to talk to me. When they were out of earshot, I turned to him.
“Do you really think I’m demanding?” I asked, sorting out some files.
“Hmm, let’s see, f**k me right now, Braden, I’m going to make you my f**k toy, Braden…” I felt my face get hot.
“Am I too demanding?” I put the files down and looked at him almost shyly.
“Are you serious? Just thinking about it makes me want to go negotiate a deal in one of the interview rooms with you,” he said, giving me a flirtatious look.
“We can’t keep doing that. We’re going to get caught if we continue using the interview rooms to satisfy our lustful urges.” I sighed and looked at my sexy boyfriend, indulging myself for a moment in some hot fantasies. “I think on Friday night I’ll dress up for you and we can do some of those naughty things we talked about. Maybe we can find some nice silk scarves and you can tie me to the bed and have your way with me.”
“You had to put that image in my head, didn’t you?” He groaned quietly and raked his fingers through his hair, giving me a seductive look.
“I have a feeling Harvard will bring Yale to her knees that night and you’ll get to handle my saucy mouth and my sharp tongue up close.”
“Stop! Please! I’m begging you. I can’t picture that now too.” His eyes went to my lips. “Oh shit. I’m picturing it. You’re such a tease sometimes.” He laughed.