“Then please”—I raised my hands in front of me, guarding myself—“stop pressuring me to fall for people I never wanted here in the first place.”
I clasped my hands together. “This whole situation has been awful. I’ve had people throw food at me in public; others have judged me over a kiss. One boy touched me against my will, and another flung me to the ground. For all the effort I put in to make things right, the papers have had a field day with the constant shame.”
They exchanged a concerned glance.
“When I said I’d help distract people, I didn’t think it would be this degrading.”
“Sweetheart, we were never trying to hurt you.” Mom looked heartbroken, close to tears.
“I know, and I’m not mad. I just want my freedom. If this is what I have to do in order to get that, then I will. If you want your distraction, I’ll deliver. But please don’t place all those expectations on me. I don’t want to let you down any more than I have already.”
CHAPTER 25
I KNOCKED ON FOX’S DOOR, kind of hoping he wouldn’t answer. It had been a draining night, and I wanted to go hide under my blankets.
Of course, his butler opened the door and pulled it so far back that Fox saw me before I could be announced.
He looked as bad as I’d been told. One eye was swollen and surrounded by varying shades of purple, and the opposite side of his head was covered in a bandage, as well as the knuckles across his right hand.
“Eadlyn!” he said, hopping up off his bed, then wincing and grabbing his ribs. “Sorry. I meant Your Highness.”
“You can go,” I said hurriedly to the butler as I rushed over to Fox.
“Sit,” I urged. “Shouldn’t you still be in the hospital wing?”
He shook his head as he settled down again. “I’ve been medicated, and they thought I’d rest better in my own room.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked, though I could tell he was in pain.
“Besides the bruises?” he asked. “Humiliated.”
“Can I join you?” I asked, pointing to the spot beside him on the edge of bed.
“Of course.”
I sat, not sure where to start. I didn’t want to send him home now, partly out of charity. I peeked at Burke’s and Fox’s applications before going to see Dad, and Fox had actually hinted at a lot about his home life on his form. Typically, I was looking for mutual interests or things we could talk about, so I’d missed some important details about him.
Living in Clermont, he worked as a lifeguard at the beach, which explained the sun-kissed skin and overly blond hair. I got the feeling that it wasn’t paying enough to support the rest of his family, though that situation was a little unclear on paper. His mother wasn’t living at home, but I didn’t know if that meant she had passed or not. I also could see his father was terminally ill, so I doubted he was contributing to the finances.
Furthermore, if I’d paid attention at all, I would have noticed how much fuller his cheeks looked compared to the picture on his form now that he was getting fed properly.
I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to keep his stipend. I wanted him to steal some of the things from his room when he left and sell them when he got home.
But asking him to stay meant giving him hope.
“Listen,” he started, “I understand if you have to send me home. I do. I don’t want to leave, but I know the rules. I just . . . I don’t want to leave with you thinking I’m like Burke or Jack. Try not to think poorly of me when I go, okay?”
“I won’t. I don’t.”
Fox looked over and gave me a sad grin. “I never got to tell you so many things. Like how I wish I could command a room like you. It’s so impressive. Or how your eyes sparkle when you make a joke. It’s really pretty.”
“Do they do that? Wait, do I make jokes?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I mean, they’re mostly subtle, but you give it away with your eyes. And I can see how pleased you are when you’re teasing us. Like at the quiz the other day.”
I smiled. “That was fun. Tonight was fun, too, up until the end.”
“I’ll never forget your face when you bit into that asparagus.”
I pressed my lips together, pretty sure that his expression and mine had been similar. What made it better was that I knew how hard he’d tried, and he still wasn’t upset over it. The only thing hurting him now was this worry that I’d remember him as something less than a gentleman.
“Fox, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me. If I think you’re lying at all, that’s it. You’ll be gone within the hour.”
He swallowed, the silliness of the last few moments fading from his face. “You have my word.”
I nodded, believing him. “All right. Would you tell me about your dad?”
He huffed, clearly not expecting the conversation to head in this direction. “Umm, he’s sick, which I guess you know. He’s got cancer. He’s still functioning pretty well. Like he’s working, but it’s only part-time right now. He needs a lot of sleep.
“When he got sick my mom left, so . . . I really don’t want to talk about her, if that’s okay.”
“That’s okay.”
He looked at the floor as he continued. “I’ve got a brother and a sister, and they go on and on about her like she’s coming back, but I know that’s not happening. If she did, then I’d leave.”
“We really don’t have to talk about her, Fox.”
“Sorry. You know, I thought the hardest part about coming here would be the distance, but what’s so bad it almost hurts is seeing you with your family.” He scratched at his hair with his good hand. “Your parents are still in love, and your brothers look at you like you’re heaven on earth, and I wish I had that. I don’t have anything close.”
I put a hand on his back. “We’re not perfect. I promise. And it sounds like you and your dad have something special.”
“We do.” He glanced over at me. “I didn’t mean to get like that. I don’t talk about my family a lot.”
“That’s fine. I have other questions.”
He sat up straight again, and I could see the pain of the action. I pulled my hand away and rolled my eyes. “Actually, I just realized this might be a hard one, too.”
He smiled. “Go ahead anyway.”