“You did marvelously,” Dad said once we were alone, a genuine tone of awe in his voice. “Really, I understand how nerve-racking this can feel, but you were wonderful.”
“How do you know though?” I placed my hands on my hips. “If you didn’t pick out the entries yourself?”
He swallowed. “You’ve heard the broad strokes of how your mother and I found each other. But there are tiny details that are best left in the drawer. The only reason I am telling you this is because I think it will help you to see how fortunate you are.”
I nodded, not sure where he was going.
He took a breath. “My Selection wasn’t a farce, but it wasn’t that far off. My father chose all the contestants by hand, picking young women with political alliances, influential families, or enough charm to make the entire country worship the ground they walked on. He knew he had to make it varied enough to seem legit, so there were three Fives thrown into the mix but nothing below that. The Fives were meant to be little more than throwaways to keep anyone from being suspicious.”
I realized my mouth was gaping open and shut it immediately. “Mom?”
“Was meant to be gone almost immediately. Truth be told, she barely made it past my father’s attempts to sway my opinion or remove her himself. And look at her now.” His whole face changed. “Though it was hard for me to imagine, she is even more beloved as queen than my mother. She has made four beautiful, intelligent, strong children. And she has been the source of every happiness in my life.”
He flipped idly through the envelopes in his hands. “I’m not sure if fate or destiny is real. But I can tell you that sometimes the very thing you’ve been hoping for will walk through the door, determined to fend you off. And still, somehow, you will find that you are enough.”
Until then I’d never had a reason to doubt that I’d seen the whole picture of my parents’ love story. But between Dad’s confession that Mom wasn’t even supposed to be a choice and Mom’s revelation that she didn’t want to be a part of the choosing in the first place, I wondered how they had managed to find each other at all.
It was clear from Dad’s expression, he could barely believe it himself.
“You’re going to do great, you know?” he said, beaming proudly.
“What makes you think so?”
“You’re like your mother, and my mother, too. You’re determined. And, perhaps most important, you don’t like to fail. I know this will all work out, if only because you’ll refuse to allow it to go any other way.”
I nearly told him, nearly confessed I had come up with pages of ideas to drive these boys away. Because he was right: I didn’t want to fail. But for me, failure meant having my life led by someone else.
“I’m sure everything will turn out just as it should,” I said, a whisper of regret hanging in my voice.
He lifted a hand and placed it on my cheek. “It usually does.”
CHAPTER 7
IN THE STUDIO, THE SET was slightly rearranged. Typically, Ahren and I were the only ones who sat on camera with my parents, but tonight Kaden and Osten were given seats onstage as well.
Dad’s officials were in a cluster of seats on the opposite side, and in the middle a bowl waited with all the envelopes I’d picked earlier. Beside it was an empty bowl for me to place them in as they were opened. I had reservations about reading out the names myself, but at least it gave the appearance of control. I liked that.
Behind the cameras, seats were filled with other members of our household. General Leger was there, kissing Miss Lucy on her forehead and whispering something to her. It had been a few days since I’d overheard their conversation, and I still felt awful for her. Of all the people in the world who ought to be parents, it was the Legers. And of all the people in the world who ought to have the ability to fix things, it was the Schreaves.
Still, I was lost as to how to help.
Miss Marlee was shushing Josie, probably for laughing at a joke Josie made herself that lacked any level of humor. I’d never understand how someone so wonderful had birthed such awful people. My favorite tiara? The one I was wearing? It was only my favorite because Josie bent my first favorite and lost two stones out of the second. She wasn’t even supposed to touch them. Ever.
Beside her, Kile was reading a book. Because, clearly, everything going on in our country and home was too boring for him. What an ingrate.
He peeked up from his book, saw me watching, made a face, and went back to reading. Why was he even here?
“How are you feeling?” Mom was suddenly beside me, her arm around my shoulder.
“Fine.”
She smiled. “There’s no way you’re fine. This is terrifying.”
“Why, yes, yes it is. How kind of you to subject me to such a delightful thing.”
Her giggle was tentative, testing to see if we were on good terms again.
“I don’t think you’re flawed,” she said quietly. “I think you’re a thousand wonderful things. One day you’ll know what it’s like to worry for your children. And I worry for you more than the others. You’re not just any girl, Eadlyn. You’re the girl. And I want everything for you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t want for us to fight right now, not with something this big coming. Her arm was still on my shoulder, so I wrapped mine around her back, and she kissed my hair, just under my tiara.
“I feel very uncomfortable,” I confessed.
“Just remember how the boys are feeling. This is huge for them as well. And the country will be so pleased.”
I concentrated on my breathing. Three months. Freedom. A piece of cake.
“I’m proud of you,” she said, giving me a final squeeze. “Good luck.”
She walked away to greet Dad, and Ahren strode toward me, smoothing out his suit. “I cannot believe this is actually happening,” he said, genuine excitement coloring his tone. “I’m really looking forward to the company.”
“What, is Kile not enough for you?” I darted my eyes at him again, and he still had his nose buried.
“I don’t know what you have against Kile. He’s really smart.”
“Is that code for boring?”
“No! But I’m excited to meet different people.”
“I’m not.” I crossed my arms, partly frustrated, partly protecting myself.
“Aww, come on, sis. This is going to be fun.” He surveyed the room and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I can only imagine what you have in store for those poor saps.”