'I should not have come to disturb her.'
'No--never mind; she never settles fairly to sleep till we are shut in by ourselves. Hush! hush, darling--No? Will nothing do but being taken up? Well, then, there! Come, and show your godmamma what a black fringe those little wakeful eyes are getting.'
And when Mary went down it was with the conviction that those black eyelashes, too marked to be very pretty in so young a babe, were more of a comfort to Amabel than anything she could say.
The evening wore on, and at length Laura came into her sister's room. She looked fagged and harassed, the old face she used to wear in the time of disguise and secrecy, Amabel asked if it had been a tiresome party.
'Yes--no--I don't know. Just like others,' said Laura.
'You are tired, at any rate,' said Amabel. 'You took too long a ride with Philip. I saw you come in very late.'
'I am not in the least tired, thank you.'
'Then he is,' said Amabel. 'I hope he has not one of his headaches again.'
'No,' said Laura, still in a dissatisfied, uncomfortable tone.
'No? Dear Laura, I am sure there is something wrong;' and with a little more of her winning, pleading kindness, she drew from Laura that Philip had told her she idolized him. He had told her so very gently and kindly, but he had said she idolized him in a manner that was neither good for herself nor him; and he went on to blame himself for it, which was what she could not bear. It had been rankling in her mind ever since that he had found fault with her for loving him so well, and it had made her very unhappy. She could not love him less, and how should she please him? She had much rather he had blamed her than himself.
'I think I see what he means' said Amy, thoughtfully. 'He has grown afraid of himself, and afraid of being admired now.'
'But how am I to help that, Amy?' said Laura, with tears in her eyes: 'he cannot help being the first, the very first of all with me--'
'No, no,' said Amy, quickly, 'not the very first, or what would you do if you were to be--like me? Don't turn away, dear Laura; I don't think I over could bear this at all, if dear Guy had not kept it always before my eyes from the very first that we were to look to something else besides each other.'