“Toman Head,” Verin said. “This is the Stone I visited. You should not have tried to bring us directly here. I don't know what went wrong — I don't suppose I ever will — but from the trees, I would say it is well into late autumn. Rand, we haven't gained any time by it. We've lost time. I would say we have easily spent four months in coming here.”
“But I didn't — ”
“You must let me guide you in these things. I cannot teach you, it's true, but perhaps I can at least keep you from killing yourself — and the rest of us — by overreaching. Even if you do not kill yourself, if the Dragon Reborn burns himself out like a guttering candle, who will face the Dark One then?” She did not wait for him to renew his protests, but went to Ingtar instead.
The Shienaran gave a start when she touched his arm, and looked at her with frantic eyes. “I walk in the Light,” he said hoarsely. “I will find the Horn of Valere and pull down Shayol Ghul's power. I will!”
“Of course you will,” she said soothingly. She took his face in her hands, and he drew a sudden breath, abruptly recovering from whatever had held him. Except that memory still lay in his eyes. “There,” she said. “That will do for you. I will see how I can help the rest. We may still recover the Horn, but our path has not grown smoother.”
As she started around among the others, stopping briefly by each, Rand went to his friends. When he tried to straighten Mat, Mat jerked and stared at him, then grabbed Rand's coat with both hands. “Rand, I'd never tell anyone about — about you. I wouldn't betray you. You have to believe that!” He looked worse than ever, but Rand thought it was mostly fright.
“I do,” Rand said. He wondered what lives Mat had lived, and what he had done. He must have told someone, or he wouldn't be so anxious about it. He could not hold it against him. Those had been other Mats, not this one. Besides, after some of the alternatives he had seen for himself ... “I believe you. Perrin?”
The curlyhaired youth dropped his hands from his face with a sigh. Red marks scored his forehead and cheeks where his nails had dug in. His yellow eyes hid his thoughts. “We don't have many choices really, do we, Rand? Whatever happens, whatever we do, some things are almost always the same.” He let out another long breath. “Where are we? Is this one of those worlds you and Hurin were talking about?”
“It's Toman Head,” Rand told him. “In our world. Or so Verin says. And it is autumn.”
Mat looked worried. “How could —? No, I don't want to know how it happened. But how are we going to find Fain and the dagger now? He could be anywhere by this time.”
“He's here,” Rand assured him. He hoped he was right. Fain had had time to take ship for anyplace he wanted to go. Time to ride to Emond's Field. Or Tar Valon. Please, Light, he didn't get tired of waiting. If he's hurt Egwene, or anybody in Emond's Field, I'll ... Light burn me, I tried to come in time.
“The larger towns on Toman Head are all west of here,” Verin announced loudly enough for all to hear. Everyone was on their feet again, except for Rand and his two friends; she came and put her hands on Mat as she spoke. “Not that there are many villages large enough to call towns. If we are to find any trace of the Darkfriends, to the west is the place to begin. And I think we should not waste the daylight sitting here.”
When Mat blinked and stood up — he still looked ill, but he moved spryly — she put her hands on Perrin. Rand backed away when she reached for him.
“Don't be foolish,” she told him.
“I don't want your help,” he said quietly. “Or any Aes Sedai help.”
Her lips twitched. “As you wish.”
They mounted immediately and rode west, leaving the Portal Stone behind. No one protested, Rand least of all. Light, let me not be too late.
Chapter 38
(Flame of Tar Valon)
Practice
Sitting crosslegged on her bed in her white dress, Egwene made three tiny balls of light weave patterns above her hands. She was not supposed to do this without at least one the Accepted to supervise, but Nynaeve, glaring and striding up and down in front of the small fireplace, did after all wear the Serpent ring given to the Accepted, and her white dress had the colored rings encircling the hem, even if she was not allowed to try to teach anyone yet. And Egwene had found over these last thirteen weeks that she could not resist. She knew how easy it was to touch saidar now. She could always feel it there, waiting for her, like the smell of perfume or the feel of silk, drawing her, drawing her. And once she did touch it, she could rarely stop from channeling, or at least trying to. She failed almost as often as she succeeded, but that was only another spur to keep on.
It often frightened her. How much she wanted to channel frightened her, and how drab and dreary she felt when she was not channeling, compared to when she was. She wanted to drink it all in, despite the cautions about burning herself out, and that wanting frightened her most of all. Sometimes she wished she had never come to Tar Valon. But the fright could not make her stop for long, any more than the fear of being caught by an Aes Sedai or by any of the Accepted beside Nynaeve.
It was safe enough here, though, in her own room. Min was there, sitting on the threelegged stool watching her, but she knew Min well enough now to know Min would never report her. She thought she was lucky to have made two good friends since coming to Tar Valon.
It was a little, windowless room, as all novices' rooms were. Three short paces took Nynaeve from wall to whiteplastered wall; Nynaeve's own room was much larger, but since she had made no friends among the other Accepted, she came to Egwene's room when she needed someone to talk to, even as now when she did not talk at all. The tiny fire on the narrow hearth handily kept the first chill of approaching autumn at bay, though Egwene was sure it would not serve so well when winter came. A small table for study completed the furnishings, and her belongings hung neatly on a row of pegs on the wall or sat on the short shelf above the table. Novices were usually kept too busy to spend time in their rooms, but today was a freeday, only the third since she and Nynaeve had come to the White Tower.
“Else was making calf's eyes at Galad today while he was working with the Warders,” Min said, rocking the stool on two legs.
The small balls faltered for an instant above Egwene's hands. “She can look at whoever she wants,” Egwene said casually. “I can't imagine why I w