Chandra is sitting on the main sofa. That’s her seat—right in the middle cushion. Her jet-black hair shines against the purple velvet of the couch. It’s kind of pretty. Ashley is next to her…in the seat I usually take. A week ago, I think Chandra would have told Ashley to move. Chandra’s best friend, Talia, the vice president of our sorority, is on the other side. I wait for several seconds, just to be sure my instincts are right. In that time, I notice neither of them look up for me. They purposely avoid turning in my direction at all.
This isn’t going to be a meeting; it’s a public hanging. I need to decide if I want to slip my neck into the noose.
“Thank you for coming, ladies. I know we’re all very busy right now,” Chandra starts, and the room quiets faster than it does in any of my survey classes. I’m internally amused; Chandra commands more respect than a professor who won a laureate for helping guide the country through an economic crisis.
“Just a quick meeting; I promise,” she says, gazing over the room, never fully looking in my direction. I’m across from her, nobody in our path. And I can feel the rope slipping over my head.
“Tutoring hours have been posted in the kitchen. Please check to make sure you are taking advantage of any and all help the Delta House provides you. Remember, part of our dues goes toward ensuring academic success. And your success in the Deltas rests partly on your academic performance,” she says, her eyes crossing the room again in a sweep. I wait for her to stop short of me, like she did the last few times. But she doesn’t.
Chandra’s eyes stop right on mine; her lip raises the slightest bit, revealing her inner thrill of catching me. She knows. And I’m having a hard time breathing.
“Also…” she says, her eyes scanning to her left and right, but coming back to me. She’s pretending this speech is for everyone else, but it’s not. “I wanted you all to hear this unfortunate news from me first. There are some…well…vicious rumors making the rounds about me, along with some photos that are absolutely false.”
I’m careful here, my energy focused on keeping my lips in a flat line, my eyes on hers, my blinking normal. Nothing about my outside can show the absolute chaos happening within.
“What’s worse? These rumors…they started with one of our own,” she says, sparing a few glances to either side, coming back to rest on me. “Someone fabricated some pretty terrible things.”
Talia is nodding next to her, eating up every word, aiding Chandra’s performance. Ashley is chewing her nails; she looks like she’s about to cry, concerned for her leader. I want to vomit.
“This is painful for me to even ask,” she says, feigning concern. She’s so fake! How did I not see this before? I had to have seen it. Maybe I just didn’t care.
“We’re going to begin our own interviews into this matter. I’m afraid we’re going to need to see everyone’s social media and the photos on your phones.” I pull my knees in and leverage myself so I can stand, lifting my bag over my shoulder—ready for whatever is about to come at me.
“Chandra?” I speak up, somehow finding my confidence. I need to keep this shit together; remember who I am. “You might need to get someone involved, like…legally. I’m pretty sure you can’t just ask to see someone’s personal information like that.”
When I’m done, I purposefully bend down and unzip my purse and reach for my mirror and lipstick, giving my hands something to do. Disinterested—I need to keep up the appearance as long as I can that I’m clueless to what this is about.
“If they want to remain a Delta sister, I can,” she says back fast. I notice my eyes grow a hint wider in my reflection. The entire room is aware of her tone; a few more heads have turned to look at me. She’s right. We all signed contracts when we joined, contracts that gave the executive board—a.k.a. Chandra—the right to examine things like our phones and social media to make sure we were representing the Delta House in the best light.
“Okay, well…I just wouldn’t want you to get sued,” I say, snapping my mirror shut and touching my finger to the corners of my mouth before pulling my lips into a tight smile. Chandra is looking back at me with the exact same expression.
While the rest of the sisters start their rounds of gossip about which one of us is the cause of all of this, I pull both straps of my backpack over my shoulders and move to the door. I’m almost to the porch when Ashley catches up to me.
“Oh my gosh, you don’t think they’re really going to look at everything…do you?” she asks, her eyes wide, the blueness framed by the spider legs of her eyelashes. If I’m still here next week, I should really pull her aside and do her makeup.