Yes, but what do we do differently? Rand thought.
Silence. Rand sat for a moment, then slid off of Tai'daishar and let the nervous groom lead him away. The rest of the Maidens were coming through the large gateway, Bashere and Narishma taking the rear. Rand didn't wait for them, though he noticed Deira Bashere—Davram Bashere's wife—standing outside the Traveling ground. The tall, statuesque woman had dark hair with lines of white at the temples. She gave Rand a measuring look. What would she do if Bashere died in Rand's service? Would she continue to follow, or would she lead the troops away, back to Saldaea? She was as strong of will as her husband. Perhaps more so.
Rand passed her with a nod and a smile and walked through the evening camp toward the manor house. So Lews Therin did not know how to seal the Dark One's prison. What good was the voice then? Burn him, but he had been one of Rand's few hopes!
Most people here were wise enough to move away when they saw him stalking across the grounds. Rand could remember when such moods hadn't struck him, when he had been a simple sheepherder. Rand the Dragon Reborn was a different man altogether. He was a man of responsibility and duty. He had to be.
Duty. Duty was like a mountain. Well, Rand felt as if he was trapped between a good dozen different mountains, all moving to destroy him. Among those forces, his emotions seemed to boil under pressure. Was it any wonder when they burst free?
He shook his head, approaching the manor. To the east lay the Mountains of Mist. The sun was near to setting, and the mountains were bathed in a red light. Beyond them and to the south, so strangely close, lay Emond's Field and the Two Rivers. A home he would never see again, for a visit would only alert his enemies to his affection for it. He had worked hard to make them think he was a man without affection. At times, he feared that his ruse had become reality.
Mountains. Mountains like duty. The duty of solitude in this case, for somewhere southward along those too-near mountains was his father. Tarn. Rand hadn't seen him in so long. Tam was his father. Rand had decided that. He had never known his birth father, the Aiel clan chief named
Janduin, and while he had obviously been a man of honor, Rand had no desire to call him father.
At times, Rand longed for Tarn's voice, his wisdom. Those were the times when Rand knew he had to be the most hard, for a moment of weakness—a moment running to his father for succor—would destroy nearly everything he had worked for. And it would likely mean the end of Tarn's life as well.
Rand entered the manor house through the burned hole in the front, pushing aside the thick canvas that now formed an entry, and kept his back to the Mountains of Mist. He was alone. He needed to be alone. Relying on anyone would risk being weak when he reached Shayol Ghul. At the Last Battle, he would not be able to lean on anyone other than himself.
Duty. How many mountains must one man carry?
It still smelled of smoke inside the manor house. Lord Tellaen had complained about the fire hesitantly—yet persistently—until Rand had ordered compensation for the man, although the bubble of evil hadn't been Rand's fault. Or had it? Being ta'veren had many strange effects, from making people say things they wouldn't normally to bringing him the allegiance of those who had been wavering. He was a focus for trouble, bubbles of evil included. He hadn't chosen to be that focus, but he had chosen to stay in the manor house.
Either way, Tellaen had been compensated. It was a pittance compared with the amount of money Rand was spending to fund his armies, and even that was small compared with the funds he'd dedicated to bring food to Arad Doman and other troubled areas. At this rate, his stewards worried that he would soon bankrupt his assets in Illian, Tear and Cairhien. Rand had not told them that he didn't care.
He would see the world to the Last Battle.
And will you have no legacy other than that? a voice whispered in the back of his mind. Not Lews Therin, but his own thought, a small voice, the part of him that had prompted him to found schools in Cairhien and Andor. You wish to live after you die? Will you leave all of those who follow you to war, famine and chaos? Will the destruction be how you live on?
Rand shook his head. He couldn't fix everything! He was just one man. Looking beyond the Last Battle was foolish. He couldn't worry about the world then, he couldn't. To do so would be to take his eye off the goal.
And what is the goal? that voice seemed to say. Is it to survive, or is it to thrive? Will you set the groundwork for another Breaking or for another Age of Legends?
He had no answers. Lews Therin roused slightly, babbling incoherently. Rand climbed the stairs to the second floor of the manor. Light, he was tired.
What was it the madman had said? When he'd sealed the Bore into the Dark One's prison, he'd used saidin. That was because so many of the Aes Sedai at the time had turned against him, and he'd been left only with the Hundred Companions—the most powerful male Aes Sedai of his time. No women. The female Aes Sedai had called his plan too risky.
Eerily, Rand felt as if he could almost remember those events—not what had happened, but the anger, the desperation, the decision. Was the mistake, then, not using the female half of the power as well as the male? Was that what had allowed the Dark One to counterstrike and taint saidin, driving Lews Therin and the remaining men of the Hundred Companions insane?
Could it be that simple? How many Aes Sedai would he need? Would he need any} Plenty of Wise Ones could channel. Surely there was more to it than that.
There was a game children played, Snakes and Foxes. It was said that the only way to win was to break the rules. What of his other plan, then? Could he break the rules by slaying the Dark One? Was that something that even he, the Dragon Reborn, dared contemplate?
He crossed the creaking wood floor of the hallway and pushed open the door to his room. Min lay propped up by pillows on the log bed, wearing her embroidered green trousers and a linen shirt, as she leafed through yet another book by the light of a lamp. An elderly serving woman bustled about, collecting dishes from Min's evening meal. Rand threw off his coat, sighing to himself and flexing his hand.
He sat down on the side of the bed as Min set aside her book, a volume called A Comprehensive Discussion of Pre-Breaking Relics. She sat up and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Bowls clinked as the serving woman gathered them, and she bowed in apology, moving with extra speed as she placed them in her carrying basket.
"You're pushing yourself too hard again, sheepherder," Min said.
"I have to."
She pinched his neck hard, and he flinched, grunting. "No you don't," she said, her voice close to his ear. "Haven't you been listening to me?
What good will you be if you wear yourself out before you reach the Last Battle? Light, Rand, I haven't heard you laugh in months!"
"Is this really a time for laughter?" he asked. "You would have me be happy while children starve and men slaughter one another? I should laugh to hear that Trollocs are still getting through the Ways? I should be happy that the majority of the Forsaken are still out there somewhere, plotting how best to kill me?"
"Well, no," Min said. "Of course not. But we can't let the troubles in the world destroy us. Cadsuane says that—"
"Wait," he snapped, twisting around so that he was facing her. She knelt on the bed, short dark hair curling down beneath her chin. She looked shocked by his tone.
"What does Cadsuane have to do with this?" he asked.
Min frowned. "Nothing."
"She's been telling you what to say," Rand said. "She's been using you to get to me!"
"Don't be an idiot," Min said.
"What has she said about me?"
Min shrugged. "She worries about how harsh you've become. Rand, what is this?"
"She's trying to get to me, manipulate me," he said. "She's using you. What have you told her, Min?"
Min pinched him again sharply. "I don't like that tone, looby. I thought Cadsuane was your counselor. Why should I need to watch what I say around her?"
The serving woman continued to clink dishes. Why couldn't she just leave! This wasn't the kind of discussion he wanted to have in front of strangers.
Min couldn't be working with Cadsuane, could she? Rand didn't trust Cadsuane by any measure. If she'd gotten to Min. . . .
Rand felt his heart twist. He wasn't suspicious of Min, was he? She'd always been the one he could look to for honesty, the one who played no games with him. What would he do if he lost her? Burn me! he thought. She's right. I've grown too harsh. What will become of me if I begin to grow suspicious of those that I know love me? I'll be no better than mad Lews Therin.
"Min," he said, softening his voice. "Maybe you're right. Perhaps I've gone too far."
She turned to look at him, relaxing. Then she stiffened, eyes widening in shock.
Something cold clicked around Rand's neck.
Rand immediately raised his hand to his neck, spinning. The serving woman stood behind him, but her form was shimmering. She vanished and was replaced by a woman with dark skin and black eyes, her sharp face triumphant. Semirhage.
Rand's hand touched metal. Too-cold metal that felt like ice, pressed against his skin. In a rage, he tried to pull free his sword from its black, dragon-painted sheath, but found that he could not do so. His legs strained as if against some incredible weight. He scratched at the collar—his fingers could still move—but the metal seemed to be a single solid piece.
At that moment, Rand felt terror. He met Semirhage's eyes anyway, and she smiled deeply. "I've been waiting for quite a long time to get a Domination Band on you, Lews Therin. Odd, how circumstances occur, isn't—"
Something flashed in the air, and Semirhage barely had time to cry out before something deflected the blade just barely—a weave of Air, Rand could only assume, though he could not see weaves made from saidar. Still, Min's knife had left a gash on the side of Semirhage's face before passing by and burying itself in the wood of the door.
"Guards!" Min cried. "Maidens, to arms! The Car'a'carn is in danger!"
Semirhage cursed, waving a hand, and Min cut off. Rand twisted anxiously, trying—and failing—to seize saidin. Something blocked him. Min was tossed off the bed by weaves of Air, her mouth locked shut. Rand tried to run to her, but again found that he could not. His legs simply refused to move.
At that moment, the door to his room opened. Another women entered with a hurried step. She glanced out of the doorway, as if watching for something, then closed it behind her. Elza. Rand felt a surge of hope, but then the small woman joined Semirhage, taking up the other bracelet that controlled the a'dam around Rand's neck. She looked up at Rand, her eyes red, looking dazed—as if something had hit her soundly on the head. However, when she saw him kneeling, she smiled. "And so you finally come to your destiny, Rand al'Thor. You will face the Great Lord. And you will lose."
Elza. Elza was Black, burn her! Rand's skin prickled as he felt her embrace saidar, standing beside her mistress. They both confronted him, each one wearing a bracelet, and Semirhage looked supremely confident.
Rand growled, turning to Semirhage. He would not be trapped like this!
The Forsaken touched the bleeding gash on her cheek, then tsked to herself. She wore a drab brown dress. How had she escaped captivity? And where had she gotten this cursed collar? Rand had given that to Cadsuane for safekeeping. She had vowed that it would be safe!