Rand turned in his sleep, but settled down again. She loved him. She hadn't chosen to do so, but her heart—or the Pattern, or the Creator, or whatever was in charge of these things—had made the decision for her. And now she wouldn't change her feelings if she could. If it meant danger, if it meant suffering the looks of men in the camp, if it meant . . . sharing him with others.
Rand stirred again. This time, he groaned and opened his eyes, sitting up. He raised his hand to his head, somehow managing to look more weary now than he had when he'd gone to sleep. He wore only his smallclothes, and his chest was bare. He sat like that for a long moment, then stood up, walking to the shuttered window.
Min pushed her book closed. "And what do you think you're doing, sheepherder? You barely slept for a couple of hours!"
He opened the shutters and the window, exposing the dark night beyond. A stray curl of wind made her lamp flame shiver.
"Rand?" Min asked.
She could barely hear his voice when he replied. "He's inside my head. He was gone during the dream. But he's back now."
She resisted sinking down in her chair. Light, but she hated hearing about Rand's madness. She'd hoped that when he healed saidin, he would be free of the taint's insanities. "He?" she asked, forcing her voice to be steady. "The voice of... Lews Therin?"
He turned, clouded night sky outside the window framing his face, the lamp's uneven illumination leaving his features mostly in shadows.
"Rand," she said, setting her book aside and joining him beside the window. "You have to talk to someone. You can't keep it all inside."
"I have to be strong."
She tugged on his arm, turning him toward her. "Keeping me away means you're strong?"
"I'm not—"
"Yes you are. There are things going on in there, behind those Aiel eyes of yours. Rand, do you think I will stop loving you because of what you hear?"
"You'll be frightened."
"Oh," she said, folding her arms. "So I'm a fragile flower, am I?"
He opened his mouth, struggling for words, in the way he once had. Back when he'd been nothing more than a sheepherder on an adventure. "Min, I know you're strong. You know I do."
"Then trust me to be strong enough to bear what is inside you," she said. "We can't just pretend nothing has happened." She forced herself onward. "The taint left marks on you. I know it did. But if you can't share it with me, who can you share it with?"
He ran his hand through his hair, then turned away, beginning to pace. "Burn it all, Min! If my enemies discover my weaknesses, they will exploit them. I feel blind. I'm running in the dark on an unfamiliar path. I don't know if there are breaks in the road, or if the whole cursed thing ends in a cliff!"
She laid a hand on his arm as he passed, stopping him. "Tell me."
"You'll think I'm mad."
She snorted. "I already think you're a wool-headed fool. Can it be much worse than that?"
He regarded her, and some of the tension left his face. He sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing softly. But it was progress.
"Semirhage was right," Rand said. "I hear . . . things. A voice. The voice of Lews Therin, the Dragon. He speaks to me and responds to the world around me. Sometimes, he tries to seize saidin from me. And . . . and sometimes he succeeds. He's wild, Min. Insane. But the things he can do with the One Power are amazing."
He stared off into the distance. Min shivered. Light! He let the voice in his head wield the One Power? What did that mean? That he let the mad part of his brain take control?
He shook his head. "Semirhage claims that this is just insanity, tricks of my mind, but Lews Therin knows things—things that I don't. Things about history, about the One Power. You had a viewing of me that showed two people merging into one. That means that Lews Therin and I are distinct! Two people, Min. He's real."
She walked over and sat next to him. "Rand, he's you. Or you're him. Spun out into the Pattern again. Those memories and things you can do, they're remnants from who you were before."
"No," Rand said. "Min, he's insane and I'm not. Besides, he failed. I won't. I won't do it, Min. I won't hurt those I love, as he did. And when I defeat the Dark One, I won't leave him able to return a short time later and terrorize us again."
Three thousand years a "short time later"? She put her arms around him. "Does it matter?" she asked. "If there is another person, or if those are just memories from before, the information is useful."
"Yes," Rand said, seeming distant again. "But I'm afraid to use the One Power. When I do, I risk letting him take control. He can't be trusted. He didn't mean to kill her, but that doesn't change the fact that he did. Light . . . Hyena. ..."
Was this how it happened to all of them? Each one assuming that they were really sane, and that it was the other person inside of them who did horrible things?
"It's done now, Rand," she said, holding him close. "Whatever this voice is, it won't grow any worse. Saidin is cleansed."
Rand didn't respond, but he did relax. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warmth beside her, particularly since he'd left the window open.
"Ishamael lives," Rand said.
She snapped her eyes open. "What?" Just when she was beginning to feel comfortable!
"I visited him in the World of Dreams," Rand said. "And before you ask, no. It wasn't just a nightmare and it wasn't madness. It was real, and I can't explain how I know. You will just have to trust me."
"Ishamael," she whispered. "You killed him!"
"Yes," Rand said. "In the Stone of Tear. He has returned, bearing a new face and a new name, but it is him. We should have realized it would happen; the Dark One won't abandon such useful tools without a fight. He can reach beyond the grave."
"Then how can we win? If everyone we kill just comes back again. . . ."
"Balefire," Rand said. "It will kill them for good."
"Cadsuane said—"
"I don't care what Cadsuane said," he snarled. "She is my advisor, and she gives advice. Only advice. I am the Dragon Reborn, and / will decide how we fight." He stopped, taking a deep breath. "Anyway, it doesn't matter if the Forsaken return, it doesn't matter who or what the Dark One sends at us. In the end, I will destroy him, if possible. If not, then I will at least seal him away so tightly that the world can forget him."
He glanced down at her. "For that ... I need the voice, Min. Lews Therin knows things. Or ... or I know things. Whichever it is, the knowledge is there. In a way, the Dark One's own taint will destroy him, for it is what gave me access to Lews Therin."
Min glanced at her books. Herid's little slip of paper still peeked from the depths of Thoughts Among the Ruins. "Rand," she said. "You have to destroy the seals to the Dark One's prison."
He looked at her, frowning.
"I'm sure of it," she said. "I've been reading Herid's books all this time, and I believe that's what he meant by 'clearing away the rubble.' In order to rebuild the Dark One's prison, you will first need to open it. Clear away the patch made on the Bore."
She had expected him to be incredulous. Shockingly, he just nodded. "Yes," he said. "Yes, that sounds right. I doubt that many will wish to hear it. If those seals are broken, there is no way to tell what will happen. If I fail to contain him ..."
The prophecies didn't say Rand would win. Only that he would fight. Min shivered again—blasted window!—but met Rand's gaze. "You'll win. You'll defeat him."
He sighed. "Faith in a madman, Min?"
"Faith in you, sheepherder." Suddenly viewings spun around his head. She ignored them most of the time, unless they were new, but now she picked them out. Fireflies consumed in darkness. Three women before a pyre. Flashes of light, darkness, shadow, signs of death, crowns, injuries, pain and hope. A tempest around Rand al'Thor, stronger than any physical storm.
"We still don't know what to do," he said. "The seals are brittle enough that I could break them in my hands, but what then? Mow do I stop him? Does it say anything of that in your books?"
"It's hard to tell," she admitted. "The clues—if that's what they are—are vague. I will keep looking. I promise. I'll find answers for you.'
He nodded, and she was surprised to feel his trust through the bond. That was a frighteningly rare emotion from him recently, but he did seem softer than he had during previous days. Still stone, but perhaps with some few cracks, willing to let her inside. It was a beginning.
She tightened her arms around him and closed her eyes again. A place to begin, but with so little time left. It would have to do.
Carefully shielding her burning candle, Aviendha lit the pole-mounted lantern. It flickered alight, illuminating the green around her. Slumbering soldiers snored in rows of tents. The evening was cold, the air crisp, and branches rattled in the distance. A lonely owl hooted. And Aviendha was exhausted.
She'd crossed the grounds fifty times, lighting the lantern, blowing it out, then jogging back across the green and lighting her candle at the manor before walking carefully—shielding the flame—to light the lantern again.
Another month of these punishments and she'd probably go as mad as a wetlander. The Wise Ones would wake one morning and find her going for a swim, or carrying a half-full waterskin, or—even—riding a horse for pleasure! She sighed, too exhausted to think any further, and turned toward the Aiel section of camp to finally sleep.
Someone was standing behind her.
She started, hand going to her dagger, but relaxed as she recognized Amys. Of all the Wise Ones, only she—a former Maiden—could have sneaked up on Aviendha.
The Wise One stood with hands clasped before her, brown shawl and skirt flapping slightly in the wind. Aviendha's skin prickled at the particularly chilly gust. Amys' silver hair seemed almost ghostly in the evening light; a pine needle passing on the breeze had gotten lodged in it. "You approach your punishments with such . . . dedication, child," Amys said.
Aviendha looked down. Pointing out her activities was to shame her. Was she running out of time? Had the Wise Ones finally decided to give up on her? "Please, Wise One. I only do as duty demands."
"Yes, you do," Amys said. She reached up, running her hand through her hair, and found the pine needle, then let it drop to the dead grass. "And, also, you do not. Sometimes, Aviendha, we are so concerned with the things we have done that we do not stop to consider the things we have not."
Aviendha was glad for the darkness, which hid her shameful blush. In the distance, a soldier rang the evening bell to chime the hour, the soft metal ringing with eleven melancholy peals. How did she respond to Amys' comments? There didn't seem to be any proper response.
Aviendha was saved by a flash of light just beyond the camp. It was faint, but in the darkness, the flicker was easy to notice.
"What?" the Wise One asked, noticing Aviendha's gaze and turning to follow it.
"Light," Aviendha said. "From the Traveling grounds."