“He’s ma mate,” Stevie argued. “And I wouldnae have had the crap kicked out of me if you’d been a better mate!”
“Tobias is trying to help you. We both are. Stevie, you’re better than this.”
“Oh get off it, Comet,” he huffed, eyeing me angrily. “Ye wouldnae have given me the time o’ day if it werenae for his say-so.” He pointed to Tobias. “This is me. Like it or leave it.”
Tobias shook his head, openly seething with frustration. “That’s what I’m telling you. I told you before I didn’t want Comet near this crap, and I’m telling you now I don’t want near it.”
Realization fell over Stevie’s expression, and with it came pain that he quickly covered with disgust as his gaze bounced between us. “So whit? We’re no mates anymore? Ye havenae got ma back? Is that whit yer sayin’?”
“Stevie.” I let go of Tobias to reach for our friend but he stumbled away from me, holding his hands up to ward me off.
“Screw this,” Stevie bit out. “I dinnae need this. I dinnae need you! First you and yer maw fuck off just when ma mum needs ye—”
“Mom asked Carole if she wanted us to stay and your mom said no and wouldn’t be talked out of it, so don’t put that on us.”
“Whit the hell does ma mum know? She’s no’ the one havin’ tae deal with this. I am! And tae look after her and look after Kieran am gonna need money, and pals at ma back I can count on tae help me get it. Which means I dinnae need you.” He pointed at Tobias and then cut me a killing look. “And I definitely dinnae need yer pity. Go fuck yerselves.” He spat in the sand at our feet and stormed off.
For a moment all I could do was watch him retreat, his body hunched with cold and rage. And pain. The waves pushed forcefully against the shore, the sound soothing and calming, and completely out of sync with all of our feelings.
I shivered at the chill, wondering what I could have said or done differently. Wondering if I should go after him.
Heat enveloped me as Tobias pressed his chest to my back and wrapped his arms around me. His cold cheek pressed against my temple. “That went well.”
I grimaced, holding on to his arms. “I’m sorry.”
“We’ll give him some time. Hopefully he’ll think about it and come around.”
Hearing the sadness in his voice, I pulled out of his embrace, but only so I could face him and bury myself against him. Our arms tightened around each other. “It’s horrible to even think this...” I sighed heavily. “This is one of the crappiest days ever, but...it’s also one of the best.”
Tobias kissed my forehead. “I know what you mean. If I didn’t have you...I would have gone down that road with Stevie, and that scares the hell out of me.”
Worry pricked me at his words as I thought about what I’d only just said to Vicki that morning about my parents. It would do Tobias and me no good to become too dependent on each other. And yet, I wondered how it was possible to stop that from happening when all I wanted was to be with him. The thought of our inevitable separation in the future was already trying to niggle at me. I firmly shoved it away. “No, Tobias.” I pulled out of his grasp and stared at him sternly. “You wouldn’t have. I know you, and you would have found your way back to yourself with or without me.”
He gave me this sympathetic smile I didn’t quite understand. “No need to panic, Com. It’s okay for us to need each other. We won’t be like your mom and dad.”
Surprise rooted me to the spot at his eerie perceptiveness. “How...”
“I know you.” He shrugged. “I’ve read your poems. I know that their obsession with each other makes you angry. Worries you. But they’re assholes.” He grinned at me. “We’re not assholes. At least, I think we’re not.”
I laughed and leaned into him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to put that on us.” I cuddled him closer, loving that I could touch him anytime I wanted now. “You’re very wise, Tobias King.”
“Nah. I just pay attention to Comet-related stuff.”
His words caused a flutter in my chest, one that only worsened delightfully as we began to stroll along the beach.
“Hey, I’m definitely trying out for the rugby team. I’ve decided.”
“You should!”
Tobias grinned at my excitement. “Okay.”
I decided to share my own news. “I let Mr. Stone read my poetry and asked him if I could start a school lit mag. He said yes.”
His eyes widened. “Comet...that’s amazing. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“I guess we’re both making changes.”
He smiled. “In the spirit of that... I was wondering if you’re still okay to help me get my grades to where they need to be? I don’t know if you know this, but you’re dating kind of a slacker.”
I laughed, not sure if I was laughing at the joke or laughing because he said we were dating. “Yes!”
Chuckling at my enthusiasm, he somehow managed to pull me closer. “You are adorable, do you know that?”
Adorable wasn’t beautiful or sexy or mysterious...but the way Tobias said it, it might as well have been. “I’ll take it.”
A few minutes later the warmth, the joy between us, seeped slowly away, drowned by reality and concern. “He’ll be okay, Tobias,” I promised quietly, knowing instinctively where his thoughts had wandered.
“Yeah.” He nodded, but there was doubt in his eyes.
THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG
17
What’s with all the speculation?
It’s only boy meets girl.
Get over this sad fixation,
It makes me want to hurl.
—CC
It was my first day attending school knowing I’d see my boyfriend there.
My boyfriend!
Vicki had cackled in delight when I’d used the term on the phone before school that morning. I’d called her to get her up to speed on all the kissing that had happened yesterday. Lotsa kissing!
Kissing was yummy.
With the right boy.
With my boyfriend.
My boyfriend! Ah! I never saw that coming.
It was as I walking to school to meet my boyfriend at the school gates that I realized something: I hadn’t picked up anything to read in forty-eight hours. That was so un-Comet-like! Moreover, I only sort of missed it.
Okay, if I was being honest with myself I was a little antsy to get back to the book I was in the middle of reading, but I’d just been so busy. Tobias and I had spent the rest of Sunday together and by the time he’d gone home I had to catch up on my homework. I was just too tired to pick up a book after that. I might have missed it, but I didn’t really mind.
Biting my lip in giddiness, I picked up my pace, eager to see Tobias even though I’d seen him less than twelve hours ago. He was waiting for me at the school gate, just like he’d said he would, and I swear my knees wobbled at the sight of him. Leaning his back against the gate, one knee bent with his foot flat to the wrought iron, he watched me approach with this low-lidded look and this small smile on his gorgeous lips.
Drinking him in, I noted he was wearing a very smart new herringbone coat over his uniform. He had his scarf tucked into it. Very stylish.
Very HOT.
And I wasn’t the only one who noticed. A group of girls, possibly third years, shot him longing looks and burst into giggles as they passed him. Tobias was completely unaware of his effect on the younger girls, staring at me as he was.
I almost wanted to look over my shoulder to make sure there wasn’t some supermodel walking behind me. Nope. Just me. At least I felt stylish enough to stand next to him, wearing my current favorite item of clothing—a knee-length fitted turquoise coat that had this amazing full, pleated skirt. I’d matched it with a bright pink scarf and fuzzy earmuffs.
I slid the earmuffs off, grinning at him as I approached. Tobias pushed off the gate to meet me. Instinctively I reached out to touch him, running my hand down his lapel. “New coat?”
He shrugged before taking hold of my hand. “Mom bought it for me a few weeks ago. Thought I’d throw it on.”