Upon his coming up to them, for they were all still together, 'Sit
down, Robin,' says the old lady, 'I must have some talk with you.'
'With all my heart, madam,' says Robin, looking very merry. 'I hope it
is about a good wife, for I am at a great loss in that affair.' 'How
can that be?' says his mother; 'did not you say you resolved to have
Mrs. Betty?' 'Ay, madam,' says Robin, 'but there is one has forbid the
banns.' 'Forbid, the banns!' says his mother; 'who can that be?' 'Even
Mrs. Betty herself,' says Robin. 'How so?' says his mother. 'Have you
asked her the question, then?' 'Yes, indeed, madam,' says Robin. 'I
have attacked her in form five times since she was sick, and am beaten
off; the jade is so stout she won't capitulate nor yield upon any
terms, except such as I cannot effectually grant.' 'Explain yourself,'
says the mother, 'for I am surprised; I do not understand you. I hope
you are not in earnest.' 'Why, madam,' says he, 'the case is plain enough upon me, it explains
itself; she won't have me, she says; is not that plain enough? I think
'tis plain, and pretty rough too.' 'Well, but,' says the mother, 'you
talk of conditions that you cannot grant; what does she want--a
settlement? Her jointure ought to be according to her portion; but
what fortune does she bring you?' 'Nay, as to fortune,' says Robin,
'she is rich enough; I am satisfied in that point; but 'tis I that am
not able to come up to her terms, and she is positive she will not have
me without.' Here the sisters put in. 'Madam,' says the second sister, ''tis
impossible to be serious with him; he will never give a direct answer
to anything; you had better let him alone, and talk no more of it to
him; you know how to dispose of her out of his way if you thought there
was anything in it.' Robin was a little warmed with his sister's
rudeness, but he was even with her, and yet with good manners too.
'There are two sorts of people, madam,' says he, turning to his mother,
'that there is no contending with; that is, a wise body and a fool;
'tis a little hard I should engage with both of them together.' The younger sister then put in. 'We must be fools indeed,' says she,
'in my brother's opinion, that he should think we can believe he has
seriously asked Mrs. Betty to marry him, and that she has refused him.' 'Answer, and answer not, say Solomon,' replied her brother. 'When your
brother had said to your mother that he had asked her no less than five
times, and that it was so, that she positively denied him, methinks a
younger sister need not question the truth of it when her mother did
not.' 'My mother, you see, did not understand it,' says the second
sister. 'There's some difference,' says Robin, 'between desiring me to
explain it, and telling me she did not believe it.' 'Well, but, son,' says the old lady, 'if you are disposed to let us
into the mystery of it, what were these hard conditions?' 'Yes, madam,'
says Robin, 'I had done it before now, if the teasers here had not
worried my by way of interruption. The conditions are, that I bring my
father and you to consent to it, and without that she protests she will
never see me more upon that head; and to these conditions, as I said, I
suppose I shall never be able to grant. I hope my warm sisters will be
answered now, and blush a little; if not, I have no more to say till I
hear further.' This answer was surprising to them all, though less to the mother,
because of what I had said to her. As to the daughters, they stood
mute a great while; but the mother said with some passion, 'Well, I had
heard this before, but I could not believe it; but if it is so, they we
have all done Betty wrong, and she has behaved better than I ever
expected.' 'Nay,' says the eldest sister, 'if it be so, she has acted
handsomely indeed.' 'I confess,' says the mother, 'it was none of her
fault, if he was fool enough to take a fancy to her; but to give such
an answer to him, shows more respect to your father and me than I can
tell how to express; I shall value the girl the better for it as long
as I know her.' 'But I shall not,' says Robin, 'unless you will give
your consent.' 'I'll consider of that a while,' says the mother; 'I
assure you, if there were not some other objections in the way, this
conduct of hers would go a great way to bring me to consent.' 'I wish
it would go quite through it,' says Robin; 'if you had a much thought
about making me easy as you have about making me rich, you would soon
consent to it.' 'Why, Robin,' says the mother again, 'are you really in earnest? Would
you so fain have her as you pretend?' 'Really, madam,' says Robin, 'I
think 'tis hard you should question me upon that head after all I have
said. I won't say that I will have her; how can I resolve that point,
when you see I cannot have her without your consent? Besides, I am not
bound to marry at all. But this I will say, I am in earnest in, that I
will never have anybody else if I can help it; so you may determine for
me. Betty or nobody is the word, and the question which of the two
shall be in your breast to decide, madam, provided only, that my
good-humoured sisters here may have no vote in it.' All this was dreadful to me, for the mother began to yield, and Robin
pressed her home on it. On the other hand, she advised with the eldest
son, and he used all the arguments in the world to persuade her to
consent; alleging his brother's passionate love for me, and my generous
regard to the family, in refusing my own advantages upon such a nice
point of honour, and a thousand such things. And as to the father, he
was a man in a hurry of public affairs and getting money, seldom at
home, thoughtful of the main chance, but left all those things to his
wife.