"I've met fellers hidin' in the mountains that I used to think was fugitive murderers--they had all the earmarks--but now I know better; they was runnin' away from third-and fourth-class post offices. If ever you're tempted, remember what I've told you. Anything I can do for you, Teeters?"
Teeters threw out his mail carelessly.
"Just weigh up them letters, will you?"
The name of the head of the Astor family caught the postmaster's eyes and he looked his astonishment.
"I'm expectin' him out next summer," Teeters said casually.
"You don't say?" with a mixture of respect and skepticism. "Visitin'?"
"Not exactly visitin'--he'll pay for stayin'. I'm tellin' you private that I'm goin' to wrangle dudes next season. I made him a good proposition and I think it'll ketch him."
"It would be a good ad. for the country," said the Major, thoughtfully. "But wouldn't you be afraid he'd get lonesome out there with nobody passin'?"
"I've thought over this consider'ble," Teeters lowered his voice, "and I figger that the secret of handlin' dudes is to keep 'em busy. I've been around 'em a whole lot, off an' on, over on the Yellastone, and I've noticed that the best way to get anythin' done is to tell 'em not to touch it and then go off and leave 'em. Of course an out-an'-out dude is a turrible nuisance, and dang'rous, but you got to charge enough to cover the damage he does tryin' to be wild and woolly."
He went on confidentially: "Between you and me, I've worked out a scale of prices for allowin' 'em to help me--so much for diggin' post holes and stretchin' wire, so much for shinglin' a roof or grubbin' sagebrush. Only the very wealthy can afford to drive a wagon and spread fertilizer, or clean out the corral and cowshed, and it'll take a bank account to pitch alfalfa in hayin'. If they thought I wanted 'em to help, or needed 'em, they'd laugh at me."
"Dudes is peculiar," the Major admitted. "I never had much truck with 'em, but I knowed a feller in the Jackson Hole County that made quite a stake out of dudin'. They took him to Warm Springs afterward--he'd weakened his mind answerin' questions--but he left his family well pervided for. Teeters," earnestly, "why don't you put your money in somethin' substantial--stock in the Ditch Company, or Prouty real estate?"
Teeters shook his head.
"Without aimin' to toot my horn none, I got a notion I can wrangle dudes to a fare-ye-well. I'll give it a try-out, anyway. By the way, Major, have you seen Lingle? How's the case comin'?"