Chuck got back to the podium and went on with his pitch. "We have some new songs, some new videos, and we're going on tour next month. Gabe, Buck, River, and I are totally stoked. We're coming to your town, and we're burning it!" He couldn't resist the usual fire-related expressions-a band theme. Almost all of their songs had something to do with fire, especially my special song, "Fiery Life," which Chuck had written. So although he wasn't my favorite band member, I wouldn't complain if the author of "Fiery Life" wanted me to go on tour with him. I wouldn't complain if he wanted to do anything else with me, either!
Chuck finally got down to the matter at hand. "Now some of you may know that we've been running a little contest here. One lucky girl is going to be picked to tour with us for a week. We got fifteen thousand pictures from all of you, and it was hard to decide. River and I loved all of the pretty faces. Gabe was particularly fond of the X-rated pictures you girls sent us." He pointed at the camera and winked. "He'll be writing to you later for more."
Chuck paused, and I knew what was coming: a Buck joke. He always teased Buck, calling him dumb, mocking him about his girlfriend, or suggesting that he was so stupid, he couldn't even remember his own name. And the name issue wasn't as far-fetched as it seemed, because Buck's real name was Charles. Before he'd joined the Fiery Boys, people had called him Chuck. But the band couldn't have two Chucks, so the bass player became Buck. Of course, this only gave Chuck more openings to mock him.
The zinger arrived on schedule. "And Buck?" Chuck grinned for an extra beat before delivering the punchline. "He can't even remember which end of the bass to pluck." The audience laughed.
This was the standard Fiery Boys story. Chuck was the lady killer singer, Gabe was the Zen-yet-horny guitarist, River was the hard-drinking drummer, and Buck was the dumb bass player. I didn't mind this much because I was willing to drink hard with River. All he had to do was say the word. And I seriously doubted Buck was dumb.
Chuck continued to ride the media frenzy. "Okay, so here's the big announcement. Believe it or not, none of the entries got unanimous approval from us, but the winner was definitely the first choice for three of us. So without delay, let's have a drum roll for the lucky girl." He turned around as if looking for his backup drummer, but the other band members were obviously not there. He turned back to the camera and laughed lightly. "Oops, no drums. Okay, the winner is. . ."