“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“How did you know? That you were a switch?”
“I was new in my BDSM journey. I had only recently discovered that I was a submissive. I went to a club, not unlike this one, to learn more about the lifestyle. There was a training class for newbies, and I went. We had to put down which role we mostly identified with. All I had known at that point was being a submissive, but the instructor wanted us to at least experience both sides, so I did a few scenes where I Topped and I found out I enjoyed it.”
“It’s a little scary when I think about being the one in control. What if I mess up?”
Meagan patted her hand. “You will. It’s inevitable.” Melissa looked as if she’d had the wind knocked out of her at that, and Meagan rushed to add, “Go ahead and accept the fact that you aren’t perfect and never will be. Tell yourself you will mess up. Give yourself the freedom to mess up.”
“I like that. Giving myself the freedom to mess up.” She took a few deep breaths and then looked at Meagan. “I’m ready. I think.”
“Don’t worry. Nothing bad will happen. Master G will see to it.”
The mention of her Master made Melissa smile. “You’re right about that.”
“Tonight we’re just going to go over a few implements. Nothing too hard-core.”
“I think I can handle that.”
“I know you can.” Meagan stood up. “Let’s go.”
They made their way past several scenes. The crowd was picking up, and Meagan started to feel better. Maybe being in her element was helping. She nodded and spoke to a few people she knew as they went up the stairs. Melissa was quiet, having only been given permission to talk to Meagan.
Several private rooms were located off the hallway at the top of the stairs. A few of them had closed doors, so they ignored those and peeked into the first room they came to with the door slightly cracked.
Master G was kneeling, facing away from the door. He had removed all his clothes, except for his boxer briefs. Meagan pushed the door open a bit more so Melissa could pass, but she stood frozen in place.
Meagan tried to imagine how off it must feel for her to have their primary roles reversed. “Go stand in front of him,” she whispered, but loud enough for Master G to hear.
Melissa silently nodded and made her way into the room. Meagan closed the door behind them and then joined the couple in the middle of the room.
“Aside from the oddness of it,” Meagan said to Melissa, “how do you feel at this moment?”
Melissa was still staring at the bowed head of her Master. “It’s . . . I don’t know . . . so many things.” She took a deep breath. “I guess if I had to pick one word, I’d go with humbled. I feel very humbled at the moment.”
“You seem surprised by that,” Meagan said.“I am.”
“Why?”
“It’s crazy, I know. I’ve always heard Doms say submission is a gift, but it didn’t click until right now.” She looked up at Meagan, and her eyes were filled with unshed tears. “It really is, isn’t it? He’s so vulnerable in that position. And he’s staying there for me. For me to do with him what I want. It’s . . . wow.”
Meagan wondered if seeing her Master kneel before her would color the way Melissa viewed being a Top. She remembered the first time she experienced the emotional realization Melissa just had. How it had transformed into the need to care for the submissives she scened with. There was an element of control to be sure, but for her, like for Melissa, it was the longing to ensure the trust they gave was cared for and attended to.
As it turned out, she didn’t have to wonder for long. Melissa sniffed. “I can’t.”
Meagan almost didn’t hear, her voice was so low. “What?”
“I can’t be a Top.”
Meagan eyed Master G, but he didn’t move. “Do you think you could do it with someone who wasn’t your Master?” she asked.
Melissa shook her head. “I don’t think so. Standing here, seeing Master like that? I don’t think it would be different with anyone else. I don’t want that much responsibility. It’s too much.”
Meagan recalled Master G saying earlier in the evening that he didn’t think Melissa was a switch. Looked as if he was right.
“I’m sorry I wasted your time,” Melissa said to Meagan.
Meagan gave her a hug. “Oh, honey, you didn’t. My role was to help you see what you needed to see, and you have.”
“Thank you,” Melissa said, but her attention was already off Meagan. She knelt beside her Master, put her arms around him, and whispered, “And thank you for doing this to show me what you already knew.”
Master G pulled his submissive into his arms and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle. Though she really hadn’t done anything, Meagan felt a bit more content. And judging by the way the couple on the floor was kissing, they didn’t need her any longer.
She turned and started on her way out.
“Meagan,” Master G said from behind her.
“Yes?”
“Thank you. I’m really glad you were here tonight.”
And though she knew she wouldn’t feel the blissful peace that followed a scene, she was glad she was in the club, too. She took her time going down the stairs, thinking.
What if she changed clothes so she could submit tonight? The night was young, and the scene with Melissa and Master G had invigorated her a bit. Made her feel more alive. She could take her boots off and walk barefoot. It wasn’t optimal, because she hated the feeling of dirt under her feet, but she could do it for a night.