A pinch of snuff dropped from the old man's fingers.
"Are you not a Christian?"
"I have not been baptized, but I was educated in a convent, and...."
"Then I cannot hear your confession. Baptism is the door of the Church,
and without it...."
"But I am in great trouble. For Our Lady's sake, listen to me. Oh,
listen to me, Father, only listen to me."
Although accustomed to the sufferings of the human heart, a measureless
pity came over the old priest, and he said in a kind and tender voice: "Go on, my daughter. I cannot give you absolution, for you are not a
child of the Church; but I am an old man, and if I can help your poor
soul to bear its burden, God forbid that I should turn you away."
In a torrent of hot words Roma poured out her trouble, hiding nothing,
extenuating nothing, and naming and blaming no one. At length the
throbbing breath and quivering voice died down, and there was a moment's
silence, in which the dull rumble in the church seemed to come from far
away. Then the voice behind the grating said in tender tones:
"My daughter, you have committed no sin in this case and have nothing to
repent of. That you should be troubled by scruples shows that your soul
is pure and that you are living in communion with God. Your bodily
health is reduced by nervousness and anxiety, and it is natural that you
should imagine that you have sinned where you have not sinned. That is
the sweet grace of most women, but how few men! What sin there has been
is not yours; therefore go home, and God comfort you."
"But, dear Father ... it is so good of you, but have you forgotten...."
"Your husband? No! Whether you should tell him it is beyond my power to
say. In itself I should be against it, for why should you disturb his
conscience and endanger the peace of a family? Your scruples about
Nature coming to convict you, being without grounds of reason, are
temptations of the devil and should be put behind your back. But that
your marriage was a religious one only, that the other person (you did
right not to name him, my child) may use that circumstance to separate
you, and that your confession to your husband, if it came too late,
would come prejudiced and worse than in vain, these are facts that make
it difficult to advise you for your safety and peace of mind. Let me
consult some one wiser than myself. Let me, perhaps, take your secret to
a high place, a kindly ear, a saintly heart, a venerable and holy head.
Come again, or leave me your name if you will, and if that holy person
has anything to say you shall hear of it. Meantime go home in peace and
content, my daughter, and may God bring you into His true fold at last."