“Thanks for the offers, but I think I’m going to go home. Get out of these shoes and do some thinking.”
She gave me a quick hug. “Okay, call me if you have any questions.”
I had just reached for the doorknob when she called, “Abby.”
I turned.
“How’d the week go? With Nathaniel?”
I’d told her before we left that I’d planned to wear Nathaniel’s collar all week. She’d been interested, not only because of the pieces I could write when the week was over, but also as a switch. She’d told me the longest she’d ever worn a collar was a day.
I’d been so confused and hurt and angry. Now, with miles separating us, I felt only sad. I dropped my shoulders and exhaled.
“That good, huh?” Meagan asked.
I slowly turned to face her. “Parts of it were great. He pushed me more than he had before and I liked it. Not always when it was happening, but it was all good.” I wiped my forehead. It suddenly felt hot in the private conference room. “But toward the end, we got into a huge fight over the stupidest things. It was like we were looking for ways to get on each other’s nerves. And we succeeded.” I didn’t want to give her the details. It was enough to know we had fought.
She gave a low whistle and pointed to some empty chairs. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Arguing is never fun.”
We sat down. “Right,” I said. “And this morning, I had your call, so I’m here. He’s at work. And we still haven’t talked.”
“When you get home take it easy.” She patted my knee. “Take time for you, read or watch a movie. Then talk to your man.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m no expert, but I have been in the lifestyle for twelve years. To me it sounds like sub drop.”
“Sub drop?” The intense emotional and physical reaction a submissive experienced after a scene when the endorphins wore off? It didn’t make sense. “But he always does aftercare and I’ve been his submissive for years.”
“True, but have you ever had a week as intense as that one before?”
“No.”
She nodded, as if I’d given her the response she anticipated. “There are those who say sub drop is actually worse in long-term committed partners.”“Really?” I didn’t think I’d had anything remotely resembling sub drop for years. But as I thought about what I’d felt last few days and compared it to what I knew from both others and my own experience, it did sound an awful lot like what I had gone through.
“Really. So do like I suggested, talk to your Master, and give me a call in the morning. Let me know how you’re doing so I don’t worry.”
We stood up and I hugged her. “Thank you, Meagan.”
“I’ve been there,” she said, but the strong Domme look had left her eyes and in its place was a haunted expression. “I know what you’re feeling. Just know you’re not alone.”
I called Nathaniel on the way home. He would probably just be finishing up his meetings for the day. I thought about waiting until he got home, but I had promised to let him know how it went.
“Abby?” he asked, picking up on the first ring. “Everything okay?”
Though I had been angry and upset with him earlier, my body felt more at peace hearing his voice. Something about hearing him say my name, in the soft gentle way only he could, partially erased my unease.
“Yes,” I said with a smile. “Everything’s very good.”
I heard the relief in his voice. “I’m so glad to hear that. The meeting with Mr. Black went well?”
“I guess you could say that.” I couldn’t believe I was getting ready to say the next words. “They want me to be on TV.”
“What?”
“I know. Exactly what I said.”
“On TV doing what?”
“Just on Mondays for a question and answer session with viewers, to tie into the blog.” I rushed to add, “They said they’d disguise me so I’d be unrecognizable.”
“This is incredible. What a great opportunity.”
Any lingering tension in my body left with his affirmative words. I didn’t realize until he said them how much I’d feared he wouldn’t be excited or think it was a good idea. Though I didn’t need his permission, I craved his approval.
“You think it sounds good?” I asked.
“I think it’s beyond good. I think it’s fantastic.” His voice lowered. “I’m just not sure I’m ready to share you with the rest of the world. I kind of like having you to myself.”