The shell-shocked silence hung heavy over the room. Finally Jack cleared his throat. “So now the Order wants to take down the Circle using the virus? Is that the conclusion to this story?”
I wasn’t sure whether to admonish him for being so callous or to wait for the answer. Maybe both.
Elodie licked her lips, eyes darting between us. “The purpose of the Order is not to harm the Circle. Just to serve as a line of defense between them and the world.”
Stellan sat with his elbows on his knees, stroking the scars on the backs of his hands. He hadn’t said a word since Elodie started the story. Now he looked up. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” He said it so quietly, it was scary.
“I couldn’t risk it,” Elodie said. “I wanted to—”
Stellan stood up. Without a word, he stalked out of the room.
Jack turned to Elodie. “Stay here,” he said. “Just—stay here.”
He took my hand and pulled me into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.
“Do you believe . . .” Jack’s face was slack. “Would Fitz really have . . .”
“I don’t think Elodie’s lying. And it doesn’t sound like Fitz did anything evil. I just can’t imagine him being part of something like what the Circle always thought the Order was. Him or my mom. Though—” Connections started forming in my head. “Do you think he was just studying me the whole time? Both me and Stellan?” I’d known that I’d been entangled with Jack—with Charlie Emerson, as Fitz had called him—through Fitz for years. But Stellan was part of that web, too. And Elodie. Fitz hadn’t just been our mentor. He’d been our puppet master, pulling the strings that had brought us to where we were today. Who we were today.
But he’d also done so much to protect us. To take care of us. So much that it had gotten him killed.
This was not a path I could let my mind go down right now. My mom, Fitz— I fisted my hands in my hair. Elodie. Concentrate on Elodie.
“I should have known.” Jack paced the worn floral carpet in front of the door, thumbing his gun at his hip. “I should have at least suspected. About Fitz. Especially about Elodie. I’ve let us be in danger. I’m sorry. We’ll send her away. I’ll make certain she hasn’t bugged our phones, and—”
I caught his arm. “Wait, stop. Do you really think we’re in danger? She’s been with us the entire time and nothing bad has happened.”
“We’re Circle. She’s Order. I know it’s Elodie, and I know she’s saying the Order aren’t what we think, but I’m not sure that matters.”
I glanced at the closed door and lowered my voice. “I understand if you don’t trust her entirely right now, but—”
He took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. I startled. Jack hadn’t touched me for so long. It felt both familiar and strange to be inches from his chest like this, his serious gray eyes pleading with me. “Avery. I know you haven’t been with the Circle as long as we have. There are things you don’t understand. Please let me do what I need to to protect you. As your Keeper and—”
He cut off.
Being under Jack’s gaze like this, with his hands on me—it was too much. All of today was too much. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, no matter what Jack had done, when I started feeling this vulnerable, there was a part of me that wished more than anything that I could go back to how things were, melt back into his arms and let him protect me and convince me everything was okay.
I ducked away from him. If I was going to get through this, I had to turn all that off. “I get it. But we need Elodie.” He started to protest again, and I held up a hand to stop him. “Just like we still needed you, after . . .”
Jack’s face shuttered and he stepped away from me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to—”
“I understand. What are my orders on how to proceed, then?”
I studied the worn carpet. I hated treating him like an employee, but maybe at this point, it was the only thing to do. “I really don’t think Elodie is going to put us in danger. We’re not kicking her out,” I said. “You can watch for anything improper, but I don’t expect you to find it. We’re going to continue to treat her like we always have. That’s my decision.”
I thought he might protest—either as Jack the Keeper or something else—but he just inclined his head.
Stellan’s voice came up the stairs, obviously on the phone, sounding like he was leaving a message. He emerged from a stairwell to stand by the window at the end of the hall, and I heard the snick of a lighter. Jack and I waited while he lit one cigarette, and a couple minutes later, a second. Then he came back to where we waited in front of the room.
“We have fake passports, but this is Israel and there has just been a terrorist attack, and we’re the prime suspects. We won’t be able to get on a plane,” he said gruffly.
I let my brain spin off of Elodie and on to what in the world we were going to do next. “Did you get ahold of Anya?” I said.
“No,” he answered in a way that declared that the end of the conversation. He ran a hand over his face. His fingers were shaking a little, but even though he’d just had his whole world turned upside down, that was the only indication anything was wrong. I had to admire it. He probably had more control over himself—and as important, how other people saw him—than anyone I’d ever known.
“We’ll have to get out overland,” Jack said.
“Nowhere we could get to overland is an easy border with Israel, either,” Stellan said. “This is a terrible place to sneak out of the country on a good day.”
“I’m saying it will be easier than flying.”